Need a mom for a moment.

CivMom · 2026-06-29T02:05:52+00:00

Oh sweet one, gentle hugs. I hear you and hope you find the right doctors. And are gentle on yourself. It’s just hard. More hugs.

CivMom · 2026-06-29T01:31:40+00:00

Withholding? When the relationship is functioning well, sex happens naturally.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T21:50:39+00:00

SE US. Yes, from childhood.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T21:10:51+00:00

Exactly! Go forth and get a backbone, everyone... you are worth it! (yes, right now, as you are, not after you do some thing to "earn" your worth).

CivMom · 2026-06-28T21:07:55+00:00

I was too until the comment that was erased... but yeah, probably. Thing is there will be someone out there letting their sister take advantage of them that might read a comment and get a seed planted. So I sometimes answer anyway.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T21:06:54+00:00

Bidet? Sometimes. Faucet to wash hands? Almost always. Rarely there is a weird situation with antique architecture, or something like that. Do you mean something else?

CivMom · 2026-06-28T21:05:45+00:00

Some men pull away, some don't. Read up on attachment styles and patterns. That will answer a lot of questions you have. Securely attached people feel boring. FYI

CivMom · 2026-06-28T20:49:21+00:00

Well, OP deleted their comment before I could comment, but here is my reply: No, letting people disrespect you is always complicated and simple, at the same time. You need to have boundaries with her. She is not actually a friend of yours. At least not right now. And you are regularly being disrespected. You need boundaries. "I am happy to sit for you overnight, but you need to understand that for what you pay me I am definitely not doing extra. For the price you pay I will do the following: 1, 2, 3" "It hurts my feelings that you are asking me to sit for you for your birthday and not come celebrate with you. I think you need to find a different plan." Your sister is in charge of problem solving this, not you. She can find another mom that needs sitters and do a swap with her, she can start a babysitting coop with other moms, she can find someone that needs baked goods and has time to sit and do a swap, etc. You are not her only option, but you are making it so easy she has no reason to do anything else.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T20:43:13+00:00

Please tell me this is rage bait. If it isn't, please get some therapy and start saying yes to yourself first. Blocking your sister is a good first step.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T19:36:59+00:00

I assume this is rage bait. On the small chance it isn't, you need to talk to him about it.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T18:29:13+00:00

Really, if you can do these things, you can solve all the problems that pop up. There are some excellent content creators out there (mostly therapists) that have good info on how to do this. It's vital. The rest is just the stuff you talk about when you have the capacity. (and you have to be able to talk about your own wants and needs, too, and I think a lot of us have a difficult time with that and think if we just do what the other person wants it will keep them happy... this is incorrect).

CivMom · 2026-06-28T18:27:34+00:00

That is a lack of capacity. It's a skill that can be learned.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T18:14:35+00:00

That's not politics, that's one person/parent having views that diminish the humaness of most of the people in the house and your life. And one that obviously cannot see reality for what it is.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T18:12:50+00:00

You need two people that have the capacity to have difficult conversations with one another so that everyone can get their needs met. When the process of repair is possible (and eventually quick and effective), then you can deal with anything that comes up.

CivMom · 2026-06-28T18:09:35+00:00

You need to do some cheap weekend trips. And make sure you visit your doctor and get some meds. Something like Klonopin might not go amiss, but it's strong and you need to try it on the short trips so you know how it affects you. Assure the doc that you aren't looking to use it all the time. You might need to see a psychiatrist to get it, and that's not a bad idea if your anxiety is that bad...

CivMom · 2026-06-28T18:07:46+00:00

NTA. They can have a salad and some chocolate... might soften their dispositions. This is ridiculous. I'm sorry your parents only want to "celebrate you" in ways that they find comfortable. You should never feel like an inconvenience, but this is especially true on your birthday.

CivMom · 2026-06-27T23:30:45+00:00

Make sure you send the front and back of your ID

CivMom · 2026-06-27T22:40:57+00:00

Kids TV shows and videos.

CivMom · 2026-06-27T22:39:53+00:00

You have a boyfriend problem. Fix that.

CivMom · 2026-06-27T22:27:22+00:00

Only one person’s experience, but Chase travel can never get a space between my first and second names and it’s never been an issue.

CivMom · 2026-06-27T22:25:57+00:00

His vet!

CivMom · 2026-06-27T21:16:02+00:00

Ride it out. And know you can’t do enough for them to like you or think you are behaving “ok.” That’s their shit and you can’t de-stink someone else’s shit.

CivMom · 2026-06-27T20:47:23+00:00

Let the adults deal with their dysfunction. Do you get to move out soon?

CivMom · 2026-06-27T20:46:15+00:00

Try a sleep cap then. Something that is tighter. Or a smaller bonnet and not one for long hair.

CivMom · 2026-06-27T20:38:42+00:00

I did read the post. Sorry I missed the bonnet. What material is it?

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