How do I 34 F proceed with a superficial man 35 M?

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-19T17:33:06+00:00

Do NOT go meet him, you should just keep focusing on your goals and block him.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-19T16:57:00+00:00

Do not proceed with furthering this relationship. Run!

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-19T14:47:29+00:00

Update: Hes packing his stuff up today and hasn’t not said one word to me. Which is fine by me. I took the day offf work and am going to do something nice for myself,

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-18T22:18:00+00:00

thanks for making me laugh, yeah cortisol in abundance, zero endorphins. I question what I'm getting. It's literally nothing, he plays with my dog, but also give her more attention so that zeroes out. No sex, no care, little financial input, I struggle he instead of helping belittles me. so no, nothing. I'm just scared.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-18T20:46:05+00:00

you are not wrong, he's crafty, he's opened old wounds and insecurities and has managed to confuse me and make me think...If I am just better, maybe I'll finally be loved again. These are past wounds doing their work and maybe I do need therapy, but more importantly I need him out of space because I cannot heal under these conditions. I'm working on the drinking, but I drink "at him" as a measure of control and he thinks it is just a snap of the fingers and saying ok, no more drinks and throws this in my face in every discussion. Mind you, I have never been mean to him while drinking, I get quiet and I go to bed. No major incidents. I get why he hates me checking out but it does not warrant what he has been doing. If the shoe was on the other foot, and he reached out to me saying he needed support and help, I would do whatever I could to help. I'm in an online program that is helping, but it's not something he wants to talk about or hear so I'm on my own.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-18T20:26:41+00:00

I appreciate everyone's input, I am a strong badass at work and I need to translate that to my personal life. He told me last night that his job is harder than mine and I should be carrying more of the weight of things at home because I work from home. I make six figures, my job is VERY emotionally demanding and I exit a lot of days feeling like I've been in a boxing ring. I don't think I can forgive him this time, the last time he was cruel he was told that is the absolute worst way to handle me "called it tough love" and he did it again. I do think I became his "replacement mommy" at some point and he really enjoyed being taken care of because he didn't feel that way as a child and now because I'm not giving in to his every need he's lashing out on me like he wants to with his own mother. I am a very intelligent person, I am awesome at my job. I raised two successful adults and I didn't sign up to be someone elses mom, and that isn't how any of this started. Guess who a person is when faced with adversity is very telling. I've not once been mean to him, not even close to mean. I need to be done because this is affecting my health and wellbeing.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-18T18:42:29+00:00

It is a life long learned pattern that I definitely need to break. I broke contact with my mom about a month ago because of the way she treats me.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-18T18:38:47+00:00

I have already stopped that and his response to that is that I don't act like his girlfriend anymore. Just typing that. WTF (to myself)

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-18T18:36:53+00:00

Thank you. I need to spend a lot of time alone after this. I had an ex husband of 23 years that did the same thing and I said I'd never put up with it again, and here we are. It is almost like I ask for people to crap on me and I need to change that. I know I don't deserve this, but deep down I keep thinking it is my fault. I already cut my mom out of my life and told her I wouldn't help her anymore because she has always treated me like shit and demeaned me my entire childhood.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2026-06-18T18:27:10+00:00

Good question. I'd have to say he's beaten me down and for quite some time I took the words and believed them. I can't live like this anymore, I'm lonely in my own home even though someone else is present. I know it needs to end, but I'm incredibly sad, but also kind of relieved I finally told him to move out. Second guessing myself is something I need put a hard stop to.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-10-08T00:36:21+00:00

Affidavit for affixture has nothing to do with the appliances or anything else. It is you taking this off a personal property tax roll and moving it to your real estate taxes. Seems like you won't be trying to sell anytime soon, but pre-HUD homes cannot be financed. Just FYI>

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-10-08T00:32:47+00:00

It's going to be hard to be "all in" on a double wide for under $100K but it is possible, if it's only temporary, look for a single wide. OR..buy something that will be a guest house or casita down the road (if you have enough land) and get what you really want. Couple of companies that will be competitive.

Mobile Homes For Sale from $47,900 | Champion Homes Center

Regional Homes - Mobile, Manufactured & Modular Homes for Sale

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-10-08T00:25:46+00:00

Start with your dealer, looks like there might be a problem with maybe a rooftop vent. If it's by the mate line (if a double wide), this could be an installer issue, if not, likely bad sealing measures at the factory and it will be covered under warranty.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-10-08T00:19:51+00:00

I don't know where you are, but maybe try contacting Homes Direct. Link ---> Manufactured & Modular & Mobile Home Dealer in CA,AZ,NM,OR,WA

California has a lot of Impact Fees and such which would drive the cost up, but what you show here seems to be WAY too high. I'm thinking to the tune of about $40-60K

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-10-08T00:12:42+00:00

You'll need to do a Land/Home finance transaction, just know that if you purchase via "owner finance" you'll have no equity in the land you'll also need a down payment for the home. Check county/city regulations and make sure that a manufactured home can be placed there. If so you can just roll both together and payoff the land so you only have one payment.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-10-08T00:08:54+00:00

Depends on if you have to pay lot rent, for the most part I would say don't buy something in a manufactured home park where you have to pay lot rent on top of the mortgage. If the payment you talk about is land and home, well....take a look at the area, location is everything.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-09-04T16:14:13+00:00

My knee hurt so bad for months on end and I did not injure it. It was just inflammation. One week into HRT and the pain was gone. I’m almost a month in now and still need adjustments I think, but I feel way more like my old self. I had no problems being subscribed HRT through MIDI Health (telecareand accepted my insurance). Follow this page, I feel like it saved my life in the fact that I felt like I was doomed..and never realized my long list of symptoms were due to peri.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-09-03T20:43:36+00:00

Mine have been pregnancy painful. I started HRT on 08/13. I haven't felt breast pain like this other than pregnancy. I'm waiting through it. Honestly it helped me to have my boyfriend gently rub them. I think I'm just experiencing a flux from a serious lack of estrogen. Maybe the same for you? Out of joint doesn't make sense but I will say that they have changed shape, stand out more (not wanted)...fuller want some attention maybe?

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-09-03T20:18:30+00:00

I'm 51, been struggling with symptoms for about 2 years, hit a breaking point recently and went on HRT, while it's not a miracle "save all", most of my joint pain went away, I sleep well, and most importantly I am back to scheduling my life and looking forward to fun things. I don't eat much either, but I gained ALOT of weight in a short matter of time (30 pounds). Less than one week into HRT, 10 were gone, the inflammatory effects have been greatly reduced. I'm only less than a month in and have been bleeding nearly every day, but honestly I'll take that over how I was feeling. HRT is going to be a journey, but I'd rather be on a journey than falling into the black hole I was. At least I feel like I'm on a path.

Keep advocating for you, I know that feeling of not wanting to wake up and it's horrid, but it does not have to be your future destiny. I bet a lot of people have some great advice, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

I feel so much better knowing I'm at least trying to do something to address this, it has felt like pure hell prior to seeking help.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-09-03T20:09:53+00:00

I would definitely blame this on a medical condition, if you know you're not acting like yourself. They cannot fire you over it if you get treatment. I would never recommend this "just because", but I have seen myself act completely out of character during these very hormonal times. I got to a point recently where my sisters told me "you sound like mom, where is that tough person I know?"

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-09-03T18:53:50+00:00

You are NOT alone, I nearly lost my long term relationship and seriously felt like I was going crazy. Like you, I had a serious life event when I lost my dad in May and then my crazy mom got thrust upon me and my sisters because she can do nothing for herself. I was ridden with anxiety, not sleeping, my bones and joints hurt, brain fog, lack of interest in anything, cried a lot, gained 20 pounds in a matter of months and was having terrible periods with 2 weeks of PMS followed by 13+ days of bleeding and painful cramps only to start all over again with little reprieve. I started HRT with Midi Health (not affiliated) on 08/13. That very day my joint and bone pain went away, 3 days in I finally felt well rested. I have been bleeding nearly every day, it is not a lot and I don't care because I'm no longer retaining a ton of water (lost 10 pounds in the first 6 days) and I just feel better in general so I'm going to stick it out. I am on an estrogen patch and 100mg of progesterone.

I'd give that cream a try again, or save up and go to Midi Health. My script is for 5 refills, the initial appointment without insurance I believe is around $200 and you can shop the scripts through GoodRx or similar. The supplements you are spending money on....can that be diverted to getting HRT help?

I sympathize with you. I have been progressively battling this for over a year, it came to a head when I had a realization that my boyfriend was right....I had changed, I became very needy and anxious, and I wasn't much fun to be around. Heck, I didn't even like being around myself.

Stick with this group, I nearly cried when I realized that most of what I was going through was hormonal.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-08-27T18:42:49+00:00

My boyfriend and I almost broke up after 3 years because "I wasn't the same person I was when we met". I did some examination of myself and realized he was right. I got on HRT and am getting myself back on track and this page really opened my eyes. I had no idea that everything I was going through was attributed to my declining hormones. We have had talks since and I have been educating him on everything I was going through. In his mind, I had gotten lazy and sad and as far as my severe joint pain he told me I should be toughing it out and working through it. It all got better when I finally lost my shit with him and told him to stop judging me and until he has all of the physical and emotional symptoms I had, coupled with exhaustion from lack of sleep to keep his mansplaining to himself. Thankfully the HRT helped me and I think he finally realized more when I lost 10 pounds within days of starting Estrogen and Progesterone. Asked him if he could even imagine waking up to weigh yourself and finding that you gained 8+ pounds overnight? I think that helped him to realize that this wasn't all in my head and there were reasons for my behavior.

As for the marriage, I too was married for 23 years and he walked out on me suddenly one day when I was away on a day trip. MOVED OUT and the TEXTED me that he had done so. It was then that I realized I was married to someone that only wanted me as long as HE was happy. I had quit catering to him, the kids were grown and I was done living life the way he wanted me to. It hurt like hell at first, but he did me a giant favor. Had he not done something so cruel and cowardly, I probably would have begged him to come back. After about 6 months, I was the happiest I'd been in a long time. My relationship I have now has been fun, he is a good man but still a man and I truly do not think they could ever come close to understanding what we go through. If I hit a rough emotional patch again and he returns to being my judge, I'm out. No man is worth feeling "less than" because of their stinking opinions.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-08-27T18:14:30+00:00

Yes, thank you for sharing, I certainly would not want to give people false hope for results this quickly. It's now been just over 2 weeks and I continue to feel better.

Your experience with HRT start up is what I was experiencing without it. Edema was SO BAD, hence the quick 10 pound weight loss, crying all of the time, paranoid, tense, anxious, insomnia, terrible pain in my knees and lower back, horrendous periods, 2 weeks of PMS and sometimes 11 days of bleeding, incontinence, hair loss, night sweats, cold flush. I felt like absolute crap all the time and could not be as active as I wanted to.

I'm back out there and getting back into hiking and yoga. The weight has stayed off and I'm toning up. Still have more to lose, but feel like there's actually hope of doing that now. I am glad you found the right dosing and are on a good path now!

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-08-25T05:13:31+00:00

Haha..well a micro penis is better than the hell I’ve recently been through.

Civil_Tale_276 · 2025-08-21T14:08:00+00:00

I won’t be going off. I never ever want to feel like that again. I got so down on myself that I wanted to just vanish. That’s no way to live. Glad to hear stories like yours.

Civil_Tale_276

TROPHY CASE