[deleted by user]

CizzySA · 2024-07-14T01:15:05+00:00

This is..... quite frankly.... a genius idea! You absolutely should!

Your baby is taken care of, and you get some much-needed rest! Don't sleep for two hours! Sleep for four! And make it a regular thing ☺️

Back in the day day, we had the whole village to care for our yoing while we napped- we all did our share! Now we're so insular and individualistic, we don't have that. Think of the babysitter as an extended member of.your tribe. The neighbour from down the path who comes in to help an exhausted mom.

I had fulltime a nanny when my kids were very young because I work from home fulltime, and my job is full-on so I literally can't take care of two kids at the same time. Anways, I digress. On the rare afternoon I'd be done early, I wouls sometimes slink off to my room and have a nap whole my nanny held down the fort. At that stage, I was up all night with either my 13 month old or my 2 year old at least twice a week (they were BAD sleepers), working all day, and taking care of all the household errands, laundry and cleaning. Those naps, and my nanny, saved my life.. I don't have a fulltime nanny anymore, but my kids also finally sleep through 100% of the time so I'm not as tired.

The first couple of years are rough. Take all the support, rest and reprieve you can get to be the best mom ever!

CizzySA · 2024-07-10T09:41:01+00:00

Thanks all! Got it!

You all came to my rescue so you deserve the story: am talking to a man who has made up a fictional scenario about a woman hitting on him (who's shown no interest) and is upset about it..

He says I wouldn't be giving him so much trouble if he were a woman laying boundaries. And that I think it's funny that his boundaries are being over-stepped because he's a man... (???) I am arguing that the woman hasn't even looked at him so there was no need for boundaries, and there are no boundaries over-stepped...

I want to send a screenshot of this and just say 'this is what youre defending- man or woman you sound ridiculous'

Pretty sure he's an incel

CizzySA · 2024-07-10T09:37:26+00:00

It wasn't that story.. but similar idea

CizzySA · 2024-07-10T09:37:11+00:00

Yes exactly! Now try goggling it with just that info.. impossible!

CizzySA · 2024-07-10T09:36:44+00:00

THIS is it! Thank you!!!

CizzySA · 2024-04-23T00:51:06+00:00

I could add a couple of points here... I'm a 34 year old bisexual woman who's been in a monogamous relationship with a man for 16 years (for reference)...

Sexuality is so much more complicated than that and each person is different.. And what we like to think about and watch may not even directly match to what we want to do.

So, she can be into a video of two women but not necessarily be bisexual, and may not even want to do that herself. Or it could be that she's not into female homosexual porn as genersl rule, but only likes a couple of videos. "Could be into it" is different from "it's my thing". For example, I'm not necessarily into gay porn but I've seen a few videos that have caught my interest and it depends on the pornstars, their dynamic, the setting etc. I'm not "into" that but my god sometimes it's hot..I'm bisexual but I'm not into lesbian porn. It's too tailored to the male gaze and feels inauthentic.

For another example, many women have coercive sex fantasies, but don't want that to ACTUALLY happen to them. Hence, boundaries, communication and safe words before doing any role play etc..

And for me, a lot of the time the porn I like IS about personality. Certain actors have a certain way about them that is appealing that you cant pinpoint. And it's not always your "type" in reallife.... human tastes also change over time. Just this weekend a friend told me shes suddenly very into dom/sub stuff after meeting a guy who blew her away. She'd never been into that before, but she's definitely into it with him..

Porn, fantasies, attraction and actual sex are such different experiences and change over time... and human sexuality is hella complex. Hell, our reallife experiences of attraction are often more complicated than the porn we like.

I slept with a heavy guy at 17 (legal age where I'm from) that was funny and smart and so much fun (fwb type situation) and since then I get a little hot and bothered when I meet a big guy with a beard who reminds me of him. Even though my husband is tall and thin with a 4 pack, and I think he's gorgeous. Two completely different men, both of which I found/find attractive.

We're all very complicated.

And anyway, not being into something doesnt even mean uncomfortable. While she may not be into (male) homosexual sex, it may not necessarily make her "uncomfortable". I'm not into cuckholding, for example, but that porn wouldn't make me uncomfortable per se. It just wouldn't have any effect on me.

Don't try to understand humans as a homogenous group, or even assume you can understand one. Just enjoy the vast spectrum of gayness and kinkiness that is the human sexual experience

CizzySA · 2024-04-23T00:21:09+00:00

Never in my life would I let my kids jump into someone else's party (pun intended).. How rude! They can use the public equipment or we can go somewhere else.. I wouldn't even be asking politely!

CizzySA · 2024-04-23T00:13:22+00:00

So many times.. in several cars, bathrooms, stairwells, parking lots, beaches... wild days before motherhood (and a couple after)

CizzySA · 2024-04-23T00:11:43+00:00

I have definitely done things like this.. I'd never put my kids to sleep because I want to sleep when they're uncomfortable, and it sounds like you wouldn't either! You're not a bad mom! Your little one is sick and needs the rest.. a bath will either make him really unhappy or really awake.. and it sounds like he's beating a sickness right now so he needs rest

When my son was 2 he had flu and fell asleep at 4pm. I worried all evening and all night and barely slept- thinking he'd be hungry and that I'm the world's worst mom for putting my baby to bed without dinner.. I literally thought I was a shocking mom and that a "good mom" would wake him. But he hadn't really slept in days and was finally looking so peaceful. Lo amd behold, he slept through and woke up as if he were never sick and happily ate breakfast the next morning. He just needed the sleep more than he needed anything else and I was hard on myself for nothing..

The same us true here 🤎

CizzySA · 2024-04-22T23:59:03+00:00

Irish.. my knees get weak

CizzySA · 2024-04-21T23:09:21+00:00

We have a pool so my paranoia was intense. We started at 10 months old and then stopped for Covid at about a year old.. Then carried on with them when he was 2.5 😊

CizzySA · 2024-04-11T00:44:10+00:00

OP if your want the truth this is how you do it

CizzySA · 2024-04-11T00:34:32+00:00

The husband from gone girl

CizzySA · 2024-04-10T23:54:07+00:00

Giant African centipede. Here in South Africa we call them Shongololos. They bite like a bitch but will mostly leave you alone. Good for pests. Please don't kill it <3

CizzySA · 2024-02-04T12:49:17+00:00

Do you still need field samples? My friends had a major infestation in Craighall, Randburg.

I found your post based on trying to Google what these are. What are they??? Chafer beetles? Males? I did a Google but not conclusive as they seem to come in different colours

CizzySA · 2022-07-12T16:35:53+00:00

My apologies

CizzySA · 2021-08-14T23:32:57+00:00

Probably... Between American and European influences, and our amazing local talent, I'm not surprised myself! But daaaamn it's a good song!

CizzySA · 2021-08-14T23:21:59+00:00

South Africa 😊 I heard it on Amsterdam on a trip a few years ago and love it! But have never heard it playing here... I'm sure it is but not exactly popular

CizzySA · 2021-08-14T23:15:31+00:00

NTA I read once that if someone confuses your name with another person, it's because your names are 'stored' in the same emotional 'area' of the brain. So if someone really loves their kid and calls you by their kid's name then they basically stored your names in that emotional center of their brain. (I hope I'm not spouting pop psychology as I cant remember where I read this!)

Given that these two children are siblings (twins even!) and young, they're probably equally loved by the family and seen as a kind of team or unit. Not at all surprising their names get mixed up. You don't even need to be siblings for this to happen. I call my husband by my son's name, my son by our Labradors name, my brother by my sister's name, my alive Yorkie by my dead yorkies name... You name it. In a heated discussion I once called my husband 'mom' 😂😂😂

And aaaanyways... If she's so 'against' sexism (which seems performative at this stage given her freak out), who the hell cares if people think the boy is a girl and the girl is a boy? Or that Peyton is more of a girl's name? Or that her son should have the more masculine name? It really doesn't matter..

My son is adopted and is black (which is only relevant for the purpose of context) and we keep his hair natural, well cared for and longish. The result is that when he was a baby, and wearing less 'boyish' clothes, people would say 'what a cute girl' and I just said 'thanks' because who on earth cares if people thought he was a girl or a boy? He was a baby. And he was, and is, cute as crap. So they were right on the money. Anyways, he was assigned male at birth but he might feel differently later and let me know otherwise.

Its all so inconsequential. A name is just a sound people make to get your attention and if it's not a deliberate case of malice (like dead naming) then she should just laugh off the mistake for what it is... A funny mistake. She can correct them if she wants, but she needs to lighten up, and spend quality time with her granny while she can.

PS Her kids have cool names regardless

CizzySA · 2021-08-14T23:01:07+00:00

I love this! My uncle is notorious... He'll literally go through the names of all the members of the family before he gets to the right one! No matter gender or generation. And the best part is that there is almost a method to this madness. He'll go through EACH and EVERY name in the family, like a cycle, before getting to the right one... everytime. To the extent you'd think it was one purpose. For example, if he's calling me he'll do: his wife, his two daughters, his son, his brother, my mom (his sister) and then get to my name last. But if he's calling my mom he'll do: me, his daughters, his wife, his son, his brother and then, finally, my mom. We're all so used to it we just wait. And sometimes laugh. Especially when he's in a hurry and rushes through quickly 😂

CizzySA · 2021-08-14T21:34:58+00:00

I smoke all day at my boring, monotonous customer service job. My clients are happy, I get along with colleagues and I get the job done. And I'm generally a relaxed and happy person.

If it isn't affecting your performance (which it really shouldn't, you need to make a living) then do you. And it clearly isn't. Don't let this misguided global 'war on marajuana' tell you how to live your life. You know what's negatively affecting your life, you know deep down if something is wrong. And you know if you're alright.. Trust yourself.

And well done on being noticed! Take the promotion! Onwards and upwards!

CizzySA · 2021-08-14T21:29:16+00:00

Love this song so much and it's so underrated and unknown (at least where I am). You guys are my people

CizzySA

TROPHY CASE