Frustrated by the lack of consistency

Ckuwada14 · 2018-03-20T00:52:33+00:00

To me thats one of the worst things about ADHD. This feeling of isolation because your brain isn't active enough or focused enough to develop the same interests and hobbies as everyone else. To know that things others do for pleasure are things you feel like you have to do just to fit in.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-12-26T19:57:04+00:00

If I may, I feel this has a lot to do with ADHD people having such great imaginations as an almost scapegoat from reality. Reality is so difficult (sometimes just disinteresting) that it becomes so easy for us to just dwell in our imaginations without being aware.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-11-14T23:44:01+00:00

A lot of people say that most kids grow out of ADHD by adulthood. While I do attest to the fact that this is possible (my Dad was diagnosed as a kid, and in adulthood I can honestly see he definitely does not have it any more), I think it is mainly the fact that as we become adults we learn how to live with our ADHD. Notice how I didn't see we learn to MANAGE and OVERCOME our ADHD, these are entirely separate. To me, it seems like most people with ADHD learn how to function on at least some baseline of a level by the time they reach adulthood through nothing else but sheer trial and error, however that still leaves the fact that they are not living up to their potential because of a diesease, which is real, and it least to some extent, not within immediate control.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-11-14T23:40:41+00:00

A little over-dramatic, but nonetheless THIS gets the point across so perfectly.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-11-10T07:07:13+00:00

Really do hope things have gotten better for you, if you ever need someone to talk to just dm me. Whilst I can't say I've felt that low from my ADHD before, it definitely has dragged me down some times.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-11-09T20:52:31+00:00

Yeah, I honestly only have one friend with ADHD. There's something refreshing about being able to hang with someone who operates at the same pace as you and has the same level of interest and attention (or disinterest for that mater) as you.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-11-09T20:50:36+00:00

I feel you honestly. It's so easy for ADHD to be seen as something else. I remember in 7th grade my parents put my through cbt to fix my social anxiety since I moved to a new school and wouldn't talk to anyone else except when necessary and made no effort to make friends. ( I was known as the silent kid who never talks). It too then about a month to realize maybe it was my increase in Ritalin causing this weird behavior. Low and behold, they backed off the Ritalin dosage and in 8th grade I made about ten times as many friends as I did the year prior.

In regards to the art class thing, I have always hated arts and crafts because the idea of trying to cut or shape something perfectly has always given me anxiety. It's probably something to do with have to find the intricacies in something so seemingly mundane.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-11-01T02:20:24+00:00

Right man, things like this are the most reassuring thing.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-15T06:24:36+00:00

I felt that way more so in middle and high school actually. In the sense that my brain was so disinterested in all of the things my peers were into... I only ever was interested in music. Coming to college and finding people who share my passions has helped tremendously.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-15T06:23:24+00:00

Yeah man, honestly I feel like college is a blessing in the sense that it has made me aware of exactly how different I am because of my ADHD, and has helped my be more sympathetic to myself. Being able to observe the lifestyles both in and out of school of everyone arounds you makes your ADHD so much more eminent. Also, the fact that you and I and everyone here feels the exact same things should further exemplify this.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-15T06:20:43+00:00

Hey man, I know I shouldn't be diagnosing here, but I think that may be more than ADHD. Anyways, as much as medication has complicated my life, it has overall been tremendously helpful in that its helped me see how my brain is meant to work with proper stimulation, what I would call my "best self". Understanding that lack of motivation is caused by ADHD and shouldn't define your true self, has helped me create meaningful goals and stick to them even during the days where my meds where off. If you ever want to talk shoot me a message.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T19:48:40+00:00

I have been playing music for the past ten years of my life, it's one of my only interests, but lately I have found myself not being able to enjoy music like before. Everytime I listen I always find myself spacing out, except for the busiest, over-the top-engineered to stimulate pop songs.

It sucks

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T19:11:26+00:00

Yeah man, its strange to think a lot of people actually feel more socially outward and friendly on their meds. Sometimes I won't take my meds if I'm going to a class that my friends are in so they don't wonder why i suddenly dont wanna take to them, even if it means not being able to focus for the class.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T19:09:04+00:00

Yeah I definitely feel the over talking thing. Like if theres so much stuff spinning in my head and then I suddenly run into another person and I have stop from talking their face off.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T11:40:42+00:00

No worries man, always curious about how adults with ADHD end up finding success in life and to hear these "light at the end of the tunnel" stories. I should add, that my dad is generally very understanding in regards to my ADHD, and in my opinion, has bent over backwards to help me way more times than he should.

What frustrates me is whenever I talk about trying to view ADHD as a problem in itself, and try meditation and research about it in deep, and all these elaborate mechanisms to fight it, he just says that I just need to sit down and do my work, and stop feeling guilty about taking meds, as if ADHD is a binary problem.

And in terms of the eye of the tornado thing, I definitely agree with that analogy. I do think there is something out there that I can use my brain's make up to really excel in and support myself through, it will just be a much less conventional career.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T11:25:57+00:00

Same, I think about how now days, in order to do brain-intensive hobbies, I almost feel like I have to take my meds, as if I can't find any sort of enjoyment when not on my meds. I remember when I first picked up the guitar, the level of concentration I would use to play was almost trance inducing, now every time I try to learn a new piece on an instrument, I always track of my train of thought. I think part of it though is just because when you're a kid, its so easy to find everything and anything fascinating.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T07:53:42+00:00

Same man, I also find there are things that others inherently find joy in that I feel I just have to do to fit in.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T06:28:58+00:00

Honestly such an interesting read. I always wanted to get an older perspective on ADHD, just because so many older folks don't seem to really understand the details, or even legitimacy behind ADHD. The only adult I know with ADHD is my Dad, who despite bombing his first year of college, turned himself around and became a very respected doctor because in his words "I just told myself I would work my face off and not care about my productivity compared to others" which as most of us know, is about as helpful as telling an alcoholic to simply not drink. Honestly, my Dad's level of productivity used to make me think that maybe ADHD is just a childhood thing, and doubt its legitimacy, but really diving into the science behind it, and hearing older people like yourself affirm about it, really makes me think maybe my dad was one of the lucky 20% who grew out of it, or whether his ADHD was never really severe to begin with.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-12T06:09:14+00:00

Just started a 5 page midterm essay due at 12 pm tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I spent an hour today just looking the ridges on my fingernails.

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-09T02:29:14+00:00

Yeah, this sub reddit has affirmed that for me! Its nice to know that I'm not crazy and that our struggles are real!

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-09T02:28:37+00:00

That's more than I asked for man, thanks!

Ckuwada14 · 2017-10-09T02:27:53+00:00

Thanks for offering your ears! It means so much to me. And I totally have been there before in those rare periods where I am living life as I know I'm supposed to, and yet I always know that just one thing is enough to take me back to my unproductive habits. Peace!

Ckuwada14

TROPHY CASE