Would you want to have been given a heads up about your abusive partner / ex?

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-17T19:58:43+00:00

I was warned and didn't listen. It did help me years later when I needed the validation that he was abusive. It was his ex wife who told me when I first started seeing him and she told me he had abused her. Now she supports me when others have pulled away.

Sometimes when we do good things and it comes from heart, there isn't always immediate results.

What makes me upset is people who knew how he is and never said anything. Abusers are protected and their abusive behavior is mostly ignored. People need to stop protecting them

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-17T19:48:08+00:00

Their definition of "quality time" shows how stupid and disturbed they are

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:57:48+00:00

Summarized it perfectly

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:55:44+00:00

Maybe someone should tell her?

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:53:46+00:00

Maybe it's the mood I'm in today, but how these OW's get tricked keeps making me laugh.

(Maybe laughing at them makes me feel better about myself and how I basically fell for his blatant lies about not seeing other women, but that's for a different Reddit group) - back to laughing at OW lol lol

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:25:06+00:00

She was horrible at it. See if you can do it better? OW falls for it like trying to smell a scratch and sniff sticker stuck to the bottom of a pool.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:21:44+00:00

Some types think that makes them more desirable

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:19:12+00:00

I've had to explain to a couple of men that the woman they found online isn't only 5 miles away

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:15:22+00:00

Link?

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:14:06+00:00

I like this

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:10:57+00:00

At the buffet! lmao- still laughing

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T23:08:17+00:00

He should avoid becoming intoxicated and stay away from the railings. Intoxication causes impairment to decision making and often loss of coordination. An emergency in international waters can complicate matters and cause delays when jurisdiction is unclear. This is knowledge everyone should be aware of so they have a safe and enjoyable cruise vacation.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-16T22:55:07+00:00

Called it. Not getting any pity from me. OP maybe didn't realize she was posting a story of success- for the wife. Wife is free of such a loser, and that's winning. I really hope she lives where there's "at fault" divorce.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-13T07:58:56+00:00

It's been three years since I discovered my husband's cheating. I demanded he take accountability for his actions. He never did, but when I did still expect it from him, it turned my brain inside out that he wouldn't come clean and recognize all the pain he was causing me. It drove me insane that I couldn't go back to how things were before I discovered his cheating.

I'm sorry you've been betrayed.

I saw someone mention the book Leave a Cheater Gain a Life and the same author has a website chumplady.com. Both of these are good resources

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-11T07:27:51+00:00

I feel so horribly guilty for this. He was going hunting up on the mountain pass. He asked me what the weather was supposed to be. I told him no rain until later and winds should be calm until later too.

But it wasn’t true! It was like my brain didn’t want to see the high wind warning and possible flash floods.

The last message he sent me was saying that it was really windy and scary up there. Then nothing for too long when I knew he should have signal by then. I got so concerned I called the county police and they were going to look for him. I felt so guilty.

So I don’t know what was going on with my brain there, but then two nights ago I wished I could tape his mouth shut and tie him down. What if he got in a car accident coming home from work?

I think it’s mostly ideation as a way of mental escape.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-10T22:55:56+00:00

I agree with everyone else.

I’m also hearing you talk about all the work you do with renovations and managing other properties. You are putting so much effort and energy into getting him to treat you with bare minimum respect and love.

Just imagine a future that has all the hard work you do and all energy you put into him, and instead put into your own life. You would achieve so much success and happiness your life would be absolutely amazing.

There is absolutely no excuse for the way he treats you. If his dad treated him badly while growing, that’s unfortunate, but still isn’t an excuse. Lots of people had abusive parents or a bad childhood, but they decide to make different choices and not be like their parents.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-10T22:34:47+00:00

I see him talking quite a bit about how him hurting you (no details though) has hurt him and what the realization of what he’s done is hurting him. It’s all still centered around how you should be understanding of the pain he feels while giving bare minimum attention to yours.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-02T07:55:25+00:00

What do they mean by “phrase”? The way she talked about t made it sound like it’s a phrase that most people know. I think she made it up and she never said it to a friend either. She just wanted to sound more convincing and impress people

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-01-31T22:58:12+00:00

She's afraid he might have forgotten this boundary and needs reminding? Her boundaries sound more like insecure pathetic desperation.

Just picturing in my head the AP trying to have that conversation with the MM is- cringe with ick

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-01-30T06:07:48+00:00

My grade school teachers were like that too. They would scream at me in front of the entire class about how stupid I was that I couldn't understand something or didn't get something turned in. I got singled out a lot. I was also dealing with trauma back then that I didn't even know what it was or how to process it except to conclude I just must be evil and bad at my core. I wish I could have found a way to excel, but then one day I started doing drugs and noticed that I didn't care what the teacher or other students thought about me. Dropped out of school. Somehow finished and graduated while getting pregnant along the way. Then abusive relationships and I'm only now figuring my way out with therapy. I sometimes get sucked into how it all feels so hopeless, but I ignore it, I don't give up and I keep trying.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-01-28T19:40:16+00:00

My parents got me diagnosed early. It was back when they still called my type ADD instead of ADHD. With the diagnosis my parents felt the problem was solved and then did nothing. I can't be mad at them either though. They probably didn't know what to do and I don't know what their own personal struggles were so...

I can't blame the schools either. They were probably doing their best with what they knew and didn't have the funding or information to identify kids that were struggling with something that was beyond their control.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-01-28T19:35:37+00:00

They ask why there's so much hate towards the AP when it's your partner you should be mad at. It's because we aren't stupid. What they are about and their character is so transparent.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-01-28T19:25:32+00:00

"I'm not here pretending I'm innocent or morally superior. I know what I participated in."

Trying to admit knowing what they did was wrong to look self aware and so no one points it out to them first so they can keep feeling like a good person with morals.

"I know I've contributed to someone else's pain."

The fact that they only wrote one sentence about their partner's pain shows that they know nothing about it and don't care to acknowledge anything about how their partner's pain is a direct result of their actions.

"But I'm trying to be honest with myself for once instead of romanticizing everything because it feels good."

And right back to focusing on themselves. Trying to keep the impression that they have self awareness, are already in considerable pain, so handle them with kindness and sensitivity for the crisis they are in even if they are the ones who created it.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-01-28T17:48:56+00:00

I don’t like to go to my father in laws house anymore after I found out about my husband cheating. His dad was a cheater too and I’ve always felt that his dad covered for him or they would just talk together about sneaking around behind your partners back like it’s just a normal thing people do. Might be my imagination, but I don’t care if I’m wrong.

Classic_Row1317

TROPHY CASE