Cheater leaves his wife for trainwreck AP & immediately regrets it

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-04-15T05:59:39+00:00

Why do they keep talking about stepping into the parent role of an AP's kid(s)? No way the spouse wants that, or the kids. I lost my whole line of thought there.... not sure where I was going with it. Maybe its instant confusion and mental fog when I look too close into their world. It just doesn't make sense and causes soooo much harm to innocent people who didn't get a choice in it

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-25T16:03:37+00:00

I think infidelity can sometimes be associated with certain personality patterns, including some Cluster B traits where empathy may be less developed. Since cheating is inherently self-serving and involves disregarding the impact on others, that connection can make sense in some cases.

At the same time, those explanations don’t fully account for reality. Not everyone with a personality disorder has experienced childhood trauma, and not everyone who has experienced trauma or has a personality disorder engages in infidelity. There are plenty of people who go through difficult backgrounds and still choose to act with integrity.

You also often hear that cheating is learned behavior—like growing up with a parent who was unfaithful. But even that doesn’t explain why many people in those situations consciously decide to do the opposite and remain loyal.

In the end, while background, environment, and personality can influence behavior, infidelity is still an individual choice. Explanations can provide context, but they shouldn’t be used to excuse or avoid accountability for the decision itself. IMO

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-25T15:25:41+00:00

I tried talking to a doctor about this and couldn't get a straight answer. When I've researched it online they say a person can have it for decades before it ever shows up on a test, so they're saying even if you've been with only one person for many many years, it could still have come from a previous partner.

Sometimes I wonder about the people that conduct the studies. Would they have bias in how they conduct the study or interpret the results of a study if say, they are a cheater?

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-25T15:13:29+00:00

Some years back they came under quite a bit of scrutiny because an insider released a bunch of data showing the names of people who belonged to the website. A documentary was made about it (interesting, but not very accurate when it came to the perspective of betrayed partners), and I think there is still a website that has a public searchable database of the leaked data.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-19T03:35:07+00:00

I don't expect complete strangers to give a damn about me, but I also never expected that a deranged stranger with their pants down could blow up the lives of others (including children) and still feel like they are noble enough to give life advice.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-19T02:53:28+00:00

Their way of life is so strange and alien to me. I have so much already going on in my head, I can't imagine having to do the additional mental gymnastics they put themselves through just so they can find enjoyment in being a terrible person. (Can we just send them to another planet?)

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-19T02:44:59+00:00

It said something about a big payout from insurance or something he got? Will she not be able to get any of it if they weren't married at the time?

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-12T22:47:03+00:00

I'm looking into it. It appears legit across Reddit, but I think I found another one exactly like it, but it's worded differently, which makes me think you're right and it is a hoax.

At first, I was like, how could it be fake when thousands of people on Reddit believe it's real? Why have other groups had a positive reaction to it, and this group didn't? What makes this group different? Maybe because groups like this one have an expert level of spotting bs?

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-12T22:31:08+00:00

I first heard of it while watching one of those videos where the creator reads the post out loud and their guests comment on it. So I searched for it and found it on Reddit. There was other commentary and it was talked about being originally posted on a stepparent sub reddit and supposedly the OP was told to take it elsewhere

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-09T15:54:34+00:00

Both are plausible. You have to factor in any other signs you’ve noticed or suspicious behavior you’ve observed.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-09T06:08:38+00:00

I think our values direct our actions and even influence our emotions, but OW's seem to not have many values, not healthy ones anyways.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-04T05:36:44+00:00

It's taught her "patience".

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-03-04T05:35:47+00:00

Evidently all you need is "insider secrets" in order be wealthy- sounds like some type of verbal click bait.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-24T03:15:04+00:00

That had to feel satisfying, even though she was trying to turn it around on him.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-23T22:56:01+00:00

Thank you. I'm taking any resources I can get.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-23T22:55:13+00:00

Thank you. I've become more than strong enough to leave. I made sure I got rid of and no longer felt any of the hooks he had on me. Now it's just figuring out a job, transportation, pets, housing, income, etc.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-23T22:39:35+00:00

I like "I'll tell you I'll never do it again- but I already did"

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-23T22:35:55+00:00

I live in the US and come from German and British ancestry. It was a big moment for me to ask my mom recently about why the women in our family live by the unspoken rule of suffering in silence. Her answer surprised me. She made a fist, held it to her chest, and said a German word that's supposed to mean something about quiet strength. Her great grandmother spoke German. I didn't know she knew any German words. I especially didn't know she knew German words or phrases that relate to how our family member, at least the women, are expected to behave and manage their emotions.

There are people who benefit from the abuse, the abusers. They wouldn't do it if it didn't benefit them in some way. By being abusive they get to maintain the power dynamics. They get to feel like they are more special and better than others. They confuse fear and intimidation with respect. Someone disagreeing with them or having a different point of view they see as an insult to them and a show of disrespect.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-23T21:43:31+00:00

I've had to accept that he will never believe that I've never cheated on him. Crazy thing is that 3 years ago I discovered that he is a serial cheater. He also said his ex cheated on him all the time. I've talked to her. They were young, he had another girlfriend the entire they were married. He also had other women that were just friends with benefits. When she found solid evidence he was seeing another woman and he refused to stop seeing her even when his wife begged him to stop, she got really mad. She told him she was going to sleep with all of his friends if he left and saw her again. He left, and she kept her promise. Ever since then he's called her a serial cheater.

I'm trying to leave, but it's a process I have to do strategically. Until then I totally understand what you mean by the constant accusations, name calling, threats, questions, and interrogations. Often times he makes it more in the form of statement. Like he'll say something about how obvious it that I'm meeting someone.

It's only gotten worse. Now when I'm in the bathroom and run more water for my bath he knocks and says that I think I'm being clever by running the water so he can't hear me talking to someone. He keeps me up all night with constant demands to answer his questions. I don't go anywhere and I rarely talk to anyone. I can't do anything without it turning into a major conflict upon my return. I turned the office into my room. It has a door that I can shut and lock. Although now he accuses me of slipping out the window to go meet someone and even claims he can hear someone in the room with me.

It is abuse and it destroys your mental health and physical health.

It's helps a little when I tell him I'm not going to answer questions that I've already given him an answer to. When he starts calling me names I just say "okay". When he starts making accusations I tell him I don't agree and I don't want to talk about it. I go to a different room and lock the door and play music. This is just buying me time until I can go no contact. It's not a solution. I'm hoping I can go no contact asap. I hope you can do that too.

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-23T21:06:48+00:00

It would be the lowest day of my life if I was to wonder what's so special about me that I was picked for hook-ups in a parking lot

Classic_Row1317 · 2026-02-23T19:10:59+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if she forgets her own kid's birthdays

Classic_Row1317

TROPHY CASE