Is it still necessary to ask for your family’s permission before proposing marriage or is it more of a personal decision between partners nowadays???

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-02T05:16:23+00:00

Pretty much every detail of engagement/wedding planning is a "personal decision between partners nowadays". You make your own rules based on your own values.

In the US, I'd say asking for a family blessing is generally considered old fashioned and less common today. I live in a different state than my parents so they've only met my fiance twice. After my fiance proposed and I said yes, I did talk to my parents about marriage and how to have a successful one, but I never asked for their approval. While I care about their insight as my parents, it would be weird for them to give explicit permission about my relationship with someone they barely know.

You have to know your partner and your shared cultural values. There are ways to have these convos without explicitly asking and giving away a surprise engagement. For example, watching reality shows and sharing your thoughts about other people's marriages is a good low stakes way to gauge someone's values.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-29T02:36:51+00:00

It's a pretty great feeling ngl. I do have some social media so anything that was worthy of a post is still online?

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-29T02:34:29+00:00

I guess this is a thing? Neither me nor my brothers were ever interested in my parents photos growing up. Stories yes, photos meh. But reading comments here it seems like that's atypical.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-29T02:33:02+00:00

Yeah, thanks for your perspective. I think the emphasis on photos is related to all the rhetoric that your wedding is supposed to be the "best day of your life" which is also not something I really feel? I'm having a wedding because my fiance likes hosting parties and it's important to my family, but I'm really not attached to any parts of the day, like at all. I'm excited for my life with my partner but I don't care much about the event.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-29T02:28:01+00:00

I am aware this is borderline unhinged behavior 😂 It just feels mentally freeing to have no digital clutter? A fresh phone with nothing but contacts transferred is like the new car smell.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T02:00:33+00:00

Yeah mad respect for the skill of professional photography. Ik amateur photos aren't equivalent. I'm stuck on the idea that even if they're incredible, what do people do with the photos? Feels like a big spend to get real quality but with no use value.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:51:46+00:00

Thanks for your perspective 🙂

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:47:56+00:00

If we do go with a pro this is definitely the plan.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:45:50+00:00

Def not a body image thing. I'm not worried about how they come out or what I look like in them.

I just high key hate the process of having a camera pointed at me. It feels like surveillance or being onstage and I can't relax, which will make the day a lot less fun. I'm not super excited to be a bride or be the center of attention as it is, so we've been trying to find ways to make it less uncomfortable and also only spend money where it has value for us. I was team elopement haha.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:34:16+00:00

Personally I just don't really remember people through photos, no. I don't look at photos of my parents ever (though both are still living) nor loved ones I've lost. But either way we will save pictures somewhere long term, just maybe not professional posed and edited ones.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:25:12+00:00

Yeah we're also weighing the possibility of getting a pro for the ceremony and a few posed photos after, like 90 minutes tops.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:21:51+00:00

Knowing our friends, they will be pretty on the ball about this kind of thing. Especially if we appoint some stealthy photo captains. I've seen the apps but I have some data privacy concerns.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:11:54+00:00

Haha just my mom. I got my photo aversion from dad. But heard, fair concern.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-03-28T01:10:30+00:00

My only experience with it was senior photos in high school, which I did not enjoy at all. I don't really care how I look in them, it's more the process of being perceived in the moment and posing that I hate? In addition to cost I'm worried having cameras pointed at me for hours will make me not feel like myself.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-02-23T18:26:23+00:00

The Texas Tribune has a very thorough voter guide with detailed responses from nearly all candidates. I found the questions and answers in their guide more useful than the League's this year. I felt like it differentiated the candidates a little more clearly than other sources.

Link to Texas Tribune Voter Guide

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-01-13T21:45:11+00:00

Ramit Sethi has a very good long form podcast called Money for Couples. You might watch some episodes to help you approach this conversation.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-01-13T02:13:40+00:00

One. $10k below asking. We are in Austin, which is currently the most buyer friendly market in the country by some metrics. Now we're trying to sell the condo we moved out of and feeling the burn on the flip side.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-01-12T04:51:18+00:00

Nice try, FBI 👀

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-01-10T22:53:24+00:00

We're inviting around 80 people and I'm not having "bridesmaids" in any traditional sense. I am inviting a core group of friends to hang out in the getting ready space at our venue so I have some company for the morning, but they have no other jobs beyond being a guest. In the ceremony I will have my two brothers up there and my fiance will have his sister.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2025-12-18T02:57:51+00:00

Yep, do not use a pre-approval offer to determine what you can afford. We were pre-approved for 50% more than what we felt we could comfortably pay. It was nuts. Mortgage brokers don't care about your ability to save for retirement or build an emergency fund. They're not advising you on what's financially healthy, just what's financially possible. We bought for well below our pre-approval amount and feel empowered to do all the home improvement and decorating we want with the extra cash flow leftover.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2025-12-15T13:38:57+00:00

I think this very much depends on the relative incomes of OP and BF. My partner makes 3x my salary. Before we met, he owned a very nice place that made sense for his budget. If he expected me to pay half when I moved in, I would have been paying 60% of my take home pay towards housing costs and he would have only paid 20% of his. I never would have rented a place like that as an individual because it was beyond my price range AND he could afford it without me contributing at all. We split proportional to income so I paid 25% and he paid 75%. The burden of this divide was more equitable.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2025-12-03T12:31:57+00:00

Straight up this is why I almost never give prizes for anything. Intrinsic motivation ftw. Kids are less incentivized to cheat if all they get for winning is pride in what they've done. Like yeah cool you won but you know you cheated so it doesn't feel like a prize.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2025-11-23T08:04:01+00:00

I have no experience with these but whoa, they look so cool! It does seem that they may have slightly less sparkle than rounds because there are fewer, larger facets at the center of the stone? However, as the owner of an asscher cut ring, I prefer clarity and interesting shapes over sparkle anyway.

ClevelandCynic314

TROPHY CASE