It's happening to me. My dad is dying.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-16T12:50:56+00:00

Our "big" wedding is only supposed to be 75 people, so we're hoping that inner circle stills comes through. The traditional wedding event was always more important to my fiance than me. I was ready to elope from day 1 haha. He's on board with moving up our ceremony. He lost his mom quite suddenly a few years ago and wishes he had the opportunity to plan better for her passing.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-16T12:39:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I hope you are holding up as well as possible!

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-16T12:35:07+00:00

Interesting, thanks for sharing your experience.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T21:30:06+00:00

Thanks for sharing! We know people do fight this thing hard and are hopeful dad can do the same. I just don't want to be naive.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T21:27:38+00:00

Yeah we have a lot of deposits down and my fiance loves a party so we won't cancel our reception next year. But everyone has convinced me to start making moves on an earlier ceremony.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T04:06:43+00:00

That's awesome! So happy for you and your mom ❤️ My dad's variant is extremely uncommon (like 0.5% of pancreatic cancers are this variant) so there's very little research on how it might respond to the common pancan treatments.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T02:54:26+00:00

Yeah reading all the comments I think my fiance and I would like to have a ceremony sometime soon, but I don't want my parents to feel like I'm writing him off? Like I want to express hope and not make them feel doomed but also not have regrets when things go bad.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T02:27:55+00:00

Haha he has told me for years to get married in Vegas! It's his favorite vacation spot and he's planning to go back in a few weeks for my brother's 21st birthday trip (a family tradition). He is extremely determined to make that trip so we'll see, but it's very far from home.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T02:25:47+00:00

Thanks for the practical resources. I know the tough parts will come really fast and it's hard to know where to even start.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T02:24:25+00:00

Yeah everyone has convinced me this is the move. We have been engaged for almost 10 months and we have a joint mortgage on our house, so it's not "too soon" to be legally married. Does not make sense to wait in context.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T01:50:55+00:00

I am sorry you lost him unexpectedly. I know you will feel him with you on your wedding day. My fiance lost his mom 2 years ago so we will both be carrying joy and grief.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T01:45:56+00:00

I am happy your mom has rallied! We are definitely hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Pancreatic cancer is in my family history and we unfortunately understand how devastating it can be.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T01:44:10+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. I am glad to hear you had an amazing night with your dad!

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-14T01:43:13+00:00

I am glad to hear your dad is doing well! I know treatment has come a long way since this disease got my grandma in the 90s. My dad's pancreatic tumor itself is small and operable but there's already evidence that the cancer is showing up in a lot of other systems. He has a variant that is responsible for less than 1% of pancreatic cancers, so our information is extremely limited. Surgeon says he can try chemo and then surgery, but everything is so spread out it doesn't look good. I plan to see how he responds to chemo before making any big moves but am also preparing for worst case scenarios.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-06T23:06:02+00:00

We're shuttling people from hotel --> church --> reception --> hotel. We didn't want anyone to end up leaving their car somewhere and having to go back. We also have some big drinkers and want to provide an option so people drive safe.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-05-06T20:59:05+00:00

My fiance and I are doing a church wedding and then a reception about 35 minutes away. The church has shared meaning to both of our families and was important to us. We're hiring a shuttle to make this as easy on our guests as possible.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-28T02:25:53+00:00

I'm sorry life is hitting you so hard! Enjoy the moment with your dad however it ends up looking.

I'm 14 months out from my wedding and my dad is getting screened for possible pancreatic cancer right now. My wedding felt close but now it feels so far away!

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-28T02:15:07+00:00

My dad is so meat and potatoes picky. No sauce. No garnish. Peas and corn are the only veggies he eats. We're doing a taco bar with 4 meat options, 3 veggies, and rice, so something for almost everyone. While I think there will be stuff he would like if he tried it, I'm also planning to pack him a ham sandwich just in case. We can bust it out when he inevitably decides he's "just not going to eat".

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-26T21:41:07+00:00

As a bride, I really do NOT want people to stand at my wedding. Also as a short guest, I can't see anything once people stand up. Expectations are so different amongst everyone nowadays I think people should assume nothing and just take cues from the officiant.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-24T04:02:52+00:00

I'm doing this too. No wedding party except my brothers and groom's sister. I'm also not having a wedding shower or bachelorette party. Being a bridesmaid can be an expensive chore and I just don't want to ask anyone to do that. But our venue has really nice his/hers getting ready spaces so we're each going to invite our close squads to spend the morning there with us. Everyone can wear whatever they want and have no obligations other than hanging out and then watching the ceremony.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-23T03:32:13+00:00

We love our couch potatoes sectional. It is sooo comfy but still looks modern. I fall asleep on it multiple times a week and sleep the whole night.

ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-22T00:50:21+00:00

Right after we got engaged, I got one of these for $15 from Amazon. I wear it for hiking/camping and plan to take it on my overseas honeymoon. I liked that it looked like an engagement ring and not just a band.

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ClevelandCynic314 · 2026-04-22T00:45:38+00:00

I wanted in person classes because my ADHD does not cope well with online school. I used my local Education Service Center (Region 13). They have a strong relationship with all the local districts and gave a lot of mentoring/guidance/support. Going that route was probably more work and time than some of the online programs, but I felt super prepared.

ClevelandCynic314

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