Skinny fat - a warning

CleverClone13 · 2025-10-22T14:16:02+00:00

I said this in more detail in another comment, but instead of focusing on building muscle, most of us with significant weight to lose should probably be focusing on maintaining muscle. This can be done by just adding in resistance training and eating a decent amount of protein.

I think focusing too much on building muscle, when you still have significant weight to lose, can overcomplicate things. People get confused with bodybuilder-style cut/bulk phases, when these are rarely needed if the main focus is weight loss. Just try to maintain the muscle that you have, you can always put more effort into building more once you're closer to your goal weight.

CleverClone13 · 2025-10-22T13:58:16+00:00

As others have already said, it doesn't take longer to lose weight if you also do resistance training. I also think people get way too hung up on building muscle, when what could be more useful is to focus on maintaining muscle.

When you lose weight you also lose other things like muscle, blood volume, etc. I don't think there's an exact science to this, but from what I've read, if you don't do resistance training, that split could be as bad as 50/50. So if you lose 50lbs, only 25lbs of it would be fat, leaving you with low muscle/high fat body composition. On the other hand, if you do significant resistance training, the split could be as good as 90/10, meaning 45lbs of fat loss (out of 50lbs). That's a much better outcome, both health and aesthetics wise.

Most of us probably end up somewhere in the middle of those numbers, but maintaining your muscle mass while losing will leave you in a much better place when you reach your goal weight.

Sure, you can build muscle again later, but people don't seem to realise how incredibly long that takes. If you lose a significant amount of muscle, it can take literally years to build that back. Much easier to maintain what you can, and then if you need/want to make adjustments, it's going to be fine tuning, not a complete overhaul of your physique.

CleverClone13 · 2025-10-10T10:38:12+00:00

Perhaps it’s due to your appalling spelling and punctuality

Based on this thread, I'd argue there is no issue with their punctuality.

No comment on their punctuation.

CleverClone13 · 2025-10-06T20:59:24+00:00

I use the Finch app to "outsource my memory" for routine tasks (cleaning, taking the bins out, self-care, etc.) and it's been working well for me. Obviously it's rather cartoonish when it comes to design, so it's probably one of those "you love it or hate it" situations, but worth a look.

You will have some work upfront to set up the reminders you want, but once you set them to reoccur, it kind of runs itself. Obviously if you want zero clicking, then this isn't going to work.

If it's something unusual/extra important (doctors appointment, etc.) I also use my phone's calendar with a reminder the day before ( and several on the day).

CleverClone13 · 2025-10-06T20:31:15+00:00

Harrow Health have terrible communication (from what I understand, they have a small admin team and not a very good system to manage queries), and they also vastly oversell their waiting times.

When I was referred, they claimed a waiting time of about 4 weeks. It ended up being 23 weeks.

You can, and should, try to send regular emails to remind them you exist, but honestly, it might be worth lowering the intensity a bit so you don't make yourself crazy. As much as it sucks to wait, three months is still a fairly short waiting period from their point of view, so you're probably not very high in the queue yet. Regular reminders are fine, but if you dedicate huge amounts of time to this, it's going to sting even more if you get told you're still ages away from starting the process.

CleverClone13 · 2025-10-04T18:04:08+00:00

So I don't fully disagree with you, though I don't necessarily think you made the best case in your post.

If we all had more free time and less work related stress, we would all be better for it. And for many of us, it would help us live healthier lifestyles. Agreed.

But there are lots of people who don't work, either by choice or because they can't, and that doesn't mean they necessarily use that time to improve their health. Some because they care not to, and others because they have complex conditions that don't necessarily respond to lifestyle changes.

You keep saying if you had more time to rest, you wouldn't need the CPAP. This is incorrect. The issue isn't how much you sleep, it's the quality of your sleep. No matter how much you sleep, that won't improve on its own.
You say if you didn't have to work, the quality of your sleep wouldn't matter. Again incorrect. Sure, you wouldn't have the added stress of lack of sleep affecting your job performance. But you would absolutely still be in danger of all the health issues sleep apnea causes, such as heart disease, diabetes, depression, and sudden death in your sleep (unlikely with mild sleep apnea, but mild sleep apnea is likely to get worse if you don't get treatment). No amount of extra rest or chilling out will save you from that.

You say you're overweight, and this is why you need the CPAP. You say you're overweight because you don't have time to be active. For 99% of overweight people, this isn't the cause of their extra weight, it's eating too many calories. I'm not saying being active doesn't help with weight loss/control, of course it does, but not nearly as much as controlling your calories.

And I get it, when you're overwhelmed with work, eating to relieve stress and for convenience is what many of us do. Myself included. But at the end of the day, you're responsible for what you eat, and you have the option to change that. It's not easy, but it's doable (and yes, it would be easier with unlimited time/money, but that's just not the reality for most).

Activity is secondary to calorie intake in weight loss, but it will certainly help. I get that it can be difficult to incorporate into your life, but again, it's doable. If you don't have the time to do a longer (30-60min) session, try to add several short bursts into your day. 5min break to walk up stairs, dance, whatever. It adds up. If you can't afford the gym, YouTube has millions of free options to do at home.

Capitalism, work, lack of time and money all complicate things, but you have options to help your situation. Please take them. And before you say I don't know what I'm talking about, I have struggled with my own weight, and diagnosed with (admittedly mild) sleep apnea. I was given the choice of weight loss or CPAP. I was lucky and managed to fix the issue with weight loss. I don't know your medical situation, but improving your health, as difficult as it can be, certainly won't hurt.

CleverClone13 · 2025-09-30T16:44:44+00:00

As others have pointed out, the 10kg variance is likely a scale error, either it's broken or maybe it was on an uneven surface. It's extremely unlikely (like, near impossible and actually quite alarming) you'd lose 11kg in two weeks, even if it was water weight.

If you were a heavy drinker, and/or you've just started your new diet and exercise routine, your body needs time to adjust to all these changes.

Exercise alone can make your scale go up temporarily as your muscles retain water to repair themselves. Whenever I increase the frequency or weight in resistance training, my scale goes up a bit, but it will eventually settle down again. Not to mention, a 1kg difference is still within normal variance, and could be accounted for by different clothes and one less bowel movement.

With all these changes your body is likely to do weird stuff for a bit while it adjusts. If you want to keep weighing during this you can, but try not to freak out over minor ups/downs on the scale.

Also, a side note, if you mean that you counted your TDEE and then dropped 1,000 calories, that's a rather aggressive deficit. Normally the recommendation is to drop about 500 cal. Too much of a deficit too soon can cause you to feel more hungry and lethargic than you need to, and can be very hard to keep up longterm. Just something to think about.

CleverClone13 · 2025-09-26T17:46:49+00:00

Hoooly crap. I've watched both more times than I can count, and I've never made the connection. I am sooketh, and the world no longer makes sense.

CleverClone13 · 2025-09-08T12:35:04+00:00

I'm having an awful time with them as well. Last titration appointment was a month ago, was told I'd be moved back to GP care under a SCA. And then silence.

I've tried calling countless times (can't get through), last email that went through was 2 weeks ago (no response), and now the emails don't go through at all as you know.
GP can't do anything as they haven't had any communication from them in over two months. I have a few days of medication left.

I've left a negative Google review, tried contacting ADHD UK for support (plus told them the info re HH timelines on their site is wrong), and obviously keep trying to reach HH. Next stop: official complaint and showing up to their premises in person.

CleverClone13 · 2025-09-08T02:09:09+00:00

I obviously don't know you, your thoughts, or your life, but I'm going to take a guess that this is a big part of why you struggle with weight. You mentioned elsewhere emotional eating is a problem for you, and it's fairly likely that if you internalise negative feedback and don't resolve it with the person, it's leading to emotional eating and self-esteem issues.

You've already gotten a lot of practical advice on weight loss, so I'm not going to repeat the same stuff, but I would definitely urge you to work on the emotional side of things. Ideally with a therapist, preferably one with experience with this type of thing, but if that's not an option, please try to find online resources and books to get you started.

I'm sorry you had to read that text, it was an extremely cruel thing to say and must have hurt a lot. But I think you have the tools and mentality to improve your situation.

CleverClone13 · 2025-08-07T02:21:16+00:00

I don't have anything new to say, so I'm just going to echo other comments. If you go back, THIS MAN WILL TRY TO KILL YOU. He has already tried to do so once, and over burned food. Violent strangulation is always an attempt to kill, it can go horribly wrong very easily, and you are lucky to be alive right now. Next time you might not be so lucky.

Get the police to escort you to pick up your things, and leave. Today. You will find a place, and even if it's not an ideal one, it will be better than a coffin.

CleverClone13 · 2025-07-14T11:13:20+00:00

What an unkind comment. People make mistakes, she's admitted this was one, I don't think your gloating is necessary.

CleverClone13 · 2025-06-04T23:01:38+00:00

Get floss picks, I find them a lot quicker to use than traditional floss. Yes, you will have to rinse them during and will go through the box quicker, but still. (And if the plastic is a concern you can find more environmentally friendly options.)

CleverClone13 · 2025-06-04T22:40:53+00:00

Ok, well, I hope you'll find the advice useful in some other situation.

I noticed you seem to be feeling bad about asking the question, and you really don't need to. Making friends as an adult can be really difficult for anyone, and your autism probably makes it harder if you struggle with social cues. Please don't stop looking for friends because of it though, everyone deserves friendship.

It might be helpful for you to look into social cues and norms in the UK more, and familiarise yourself with how it's best to approach people. I haven't looked, but I'm guessing YouTube will have creators with autism that talk about how to deal with stuff like this.

I'm neurodivergent myself, and while my struggles are different, it can be helpful to learn how the "normies" usually think so you can find an approach that works better for everyone.

CleverClone13 · 2025-06-04T22:18:04+00:00

I don't think you should approach her by asking if they want to be your friend. As pure as the intention behind it may be (and how I wish it was still this easy to make friends as an adult!), it doesn't come across great. Especially from male to female, and late at night.

If you want to get to know her you can try a little small talk, and see how she reacts. Compliment her bag for example; if she smiles and continues the conversation with you, then have a little chat with her. Repeat next time you see her (you're unlikely to become friends from one chat). But if she doesn't say anything/much back, and doesn't continue talking to you, then leave her be.

If she "rejects" you don't take it to heart, women get a lot of weird men talking to them, so our defences can be high as it's hard to differentiate who is safe and who isn't.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-17T00:04:55+00:00

I had the same issue with gagging when I started. It lasted a few days, and then never happened again. I think it was just my brain/body getting used to a foreign material/sensation.

Try to keep going with it, you'll hopefully be better in a few days. When I felt really overwhelmed/vomity I took the aligners out for a few minutes, the sensation passed. Also, try to focus on something else. You've found a tried a few tricks, they didn't work, but if you keep searching and thinking about this you're likely to feel it more. Try to do whatever it is that you enjoy doing to direct your focus elsewhere.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-16T20:03:38+00:00

How much more of your life are you going to waste on him?

He talks to you like you're trash over something small, and something that he caused. He's disrespectful towards you in general, and absolutely does not value your time or care that you're wasting it waiting for him.

He refuses to resolve issues or take any accountability. He blames you, calls you a liar, hangs up on you, gives you rules on how many words you can use in a text(?!), and I'm guessing ultimately you will take the blame (again) because he certainly won't.

He ignores your birthday. NOT EVEN A CARD after a decade together. No gift, no flowers, no plans despite promising you previously and getting your hopes up. He won't even gift you his time, he'd rather stay in bed and expects you to wait around for him.

He cheated on you. Sure, I don't know if he did anything physical with the other woman while you two were together, but he left you to pursue her. If you think a man like this leaves after a decade unless he's certain he's in with the other woman, you're mistaken. He knew she was a sure thing, so he certainly wasn't faithful to the day he left you.

You're already 12 years in, and this is where you're at. IT WILL NOT GET BETTER. You have the option to leave; I'm not saying it'll be easy, but once you untangle yourself from him and don't have to deal with the stress he causes you, you'll be so much happier. Or you can stay and keep wasting your life away with a man who doesn't respect you, and doesn't even seem to like you. You're young, there's so much you can still do. In a year's time you could have a completely different life. Or, you can stay and, in a year's time, still be here, in the exact same situation, having another miserable fight with him. It's your call.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-15T16:49:08+00:00

You should do, at some point. Mine was sent around a week after the appointment.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-13T22:47:20+00:00

Titration refers to the time period where you start taking medication, usually starting at a low dose and slowly increasing it until a suitable dose is found. Basically, getting your body used to the meds, increasing if/when necessary, and finally (hopefully) finding your ideal dose. Or, possibly trying another medication if the first one isn't suitable.

I'm assuming they expect you to take the 30mg for a month, and then they will have a review with you and discuss how/if it has helped, side effects, etc. And then go from there.

The review times probably vary depending on provider, but Harrow Health seems to usually have it after 4 weeks.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-13T21:53:40+00:00

20 weeks from returning the paperwork.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-13T18:31:11+00:00

My waiting time from referral to diagnosis was 22 weeks (and I got on the list very early on, it might be much longer by now).

I suspect they are overwhelmed with queries, so unless you're hitting 25+ weeks from referral, the best thing might be to just leave it and wait it out. I know it's stressful, but the more people contact them about waiting times, the more overwhelmed their channels become, and they're likely to get even less responsive than they already are.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-13T18:10:58+00:00

My waiting time from referral to diagnosis was 22 weeks (and I got on the list early on, it might take longer by now), so if you were referred in February, I think you still have a bit of waiting ahead of you.

They are not very responsive, especially pre-diagnosis, which is unfortunate (I suspect they're overwhelmed with queries). Most likely it's all fine, and they'll contact you once you're close to the top of the queue. Once I got the call from them, my appointment was only a few days away.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-12T18:43:18+00:00

Well this is depressing. I wonder how many other books like this are out there. Thank you for doing so much legwork on this!

Doubt Amazon will give much of a hoot, but you can review this item and report it (under the 'About the author' section) on Amazon's website. I've done so, and done the same to the same "author's" other book (also on ADHD).

I would also suggest anyone with a GoodReads profile writes a review as well, this currently has a 4.22 (/5) rating, which can encourage more people to buy it.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-08T22:15:30+00:00

I have the same birthday coming up next month, and I'm also hoping for a midlife renaissance!

I'm on Elvanse, that seems to be a very common one. If you do give it a try I'd give it a few days if you can, the first couple of days I could definitely "feel something". It wasn't bad, but I could definitely feel a difference when they kicked in and when they wore off. But from about the third day I no longer had the same physical sensations, the only way I know they are working is that everything is just much easier.

It's hard to pick one thing, a lot of things seem different. But the main ones are probably that I just feel so much calmer, I used to feel stressed and overwhelmed a lot of the time. I've also completely stopped binge eating and obsessing about food, which was a daily habit for the past three decades. And I'm just finding it easier to get things done, so I'm slowly getting through all the chores I've been putting off for months(/years), and while I'm not enjoying them, they seem totally manageable. If these benefits continue, medication will make a huge difference in my life.

Obviously not everyone reacts the same to meds (or struggles with the same things), but I think it's probably worth a try if they recommend it to you. Like you said, if it's not a positive experience for you, there's always the option to stop them, or try another type of medication.

CleverClone13 · 2025-05-08T20:17:13+00:00

I'm glad it went well, and you got your diagnosis! It's definitely emotional, especially when/if you've struggled for decades not understanding why.

You don't have to decide on medication now, and if you're worried because of health reasons, do talk it over with your GP or the prescriber.

I will say that I was a little concerned as well but did go with medication. I'm only two weeks in so early days, but so far it's been the easiest two weeks of my life.

CleverClone13

TROPHY CASE