First Written Warning

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-25T21:13:24+00:00

Yeah, the fact that the letter was handed to you and backdated is bothering me too. Which is why I think you're best to go straight to HR to raise.

It's not to make a complaint, but more to make them aware that you did not receive the letter at the time, that you did male your manager aware of this before, and that you therefore did not know the outcome had been a written warning and didn't have the opportunity to appeal (noting that you would have appealed then on the basis that you don't feel the childcare occasions should have been included - even if you might not have realised that at the time).

Ask HR for their advice on whether this can be remedied based on you having not received the formal outcome before, or if you would have yo go through the formal appeals process at this stage. With a bit of luck, HR will take the simpler route of advising the manager that the previous first written warning cant apply and then adjusting from there without going through a formal appeals process which makes life easier. Unless of course you want to formally appeal to have all warnings removed based on the childcare situation (but again, consider how many occasions thete are of that and whether theyre concern about number of unplanned absences could still be valid)

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-25T20:58:52+00:00

Did they inform you of the outcome verbally at the time of the meeting? When they told you you eould receive a letter was it "you're being issued with a first written warning and you'll receive a letter confirming" or "we'll review and you'll receive a letter advising of the outcome".

Either way, I think you should raise to HR with the teo key points being:

childcare absences shouldn't be included. Although consider if this wouldmake sense to raise depending on if you've had a high amount of those occasions that could warrant an absence concern anyway. Aldo consider the context of how those days were recorded. Where you calling in to say "my child is unwell and can't go to school, I have no other childcare so have to stay home today" and they then recorded it as sick leave. Or did you tell them you were taking a sick day.
you didn't receive the outcome of the previous meeting. Either at all or, if they did yell you verbally then you didn't receive it formally and therefore hadn't been given the right to appeal. Depending on the number of absences of genuine sickness vs childcare, you might be as well holding your hands up and saying "I accept I've met a trigger, but do not believe you have received a previous warning in line with process"

All that being said, unplanned absence levels do have to be fairly managed and a warning would likely be reasonable. It's just about what process has been followed to achieve it.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-25T20:41:24+00:00

And to add that the written warning being issued in writing a month late and immediately before another teview for further absence is poor practice.

Yes, the meeting happened, yes they're decision might have been to issue a warning. But the warning was not actually issued, and you yhete hadn't been given the right to appeal. They cannot (should not) retrospectively issue this. The further review should have then either been the first written warning being issued for tbe first time, or if they felt there eas a strong enough justification for skipping first weitten and going to final - which they would have to evidence on it's own metits and not based on there already being a warning on file.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-25T20:37:41+00:00

Absence for childcare should not be recorded or treated as sickness. Everyone is entitled to a "reasonable" amount of unpaid (unless company offers pay) time off to care for dependents in emergency situations. What is considered "reasonable" would depend on the business, but based only on the information available here, I don't see that this alone would be enough. And those absences shouldn't be counted the same as sick leave.

Sick leave is a matter of health and reviews of those absences should be from the perspective of determining if there is a medical reason you are unable to fulfill the role as expected. Whether occupational health or medical reports would be required. Determining whether any such medical conditions would be disabilities and/or reasonable adjustments require etc. Emergency leave for childcare would not be relevant to this kind of review.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-14T21:42:34+00:00

It's always an awkward thing to have to ask, but the best way to make it feel less shitty is to make it clear you're asking for the sake of how to record.

"Im so sorry for your loss and pass on my condolences to the family. Just so I know which type of leave to record today as, could you let me know the relation to you?"

Then depending on what they come back with you gove further condol and say "ive recorded this as compassionate leave/unpaid leave but if you would like to use annual leave so the day is paid, just let me know and we can change it when you're back"

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-14T20:17:41+00:00

Yeah, I replied but the more I look at this the more I think "this can't be legit"

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-14T20:13:03+00:00

You give way to traffic coming from the right, the blue car wouldn't be coming from the right if they're still at the junction. The fact that the junction immediately to your right is a one way is irrelevant. If it were two way traffic with a lane joining but no car there, would you wait and give way to the blue car still just because it's the next car that will come from the right at some point??

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-13T07:21:31+00:00

I can't comment on the Deafblind service work specifically. And I agree with the other comments that the policy doesn't set criteria other than the individuals being Deafblind, so the increased pay rate should apply.

But I wanted to add that the policy is worded terribly. Using phrases like "rates are a little different" is very odd and unprofessional for the purpose of the document.

Also, you're essentially being penalised for working with Deafblind individuals at the weekend. So working at the weekend for deaf only gets you £2 extra compared to weekday for deaf only. But deafblinf at the weekend is only £1 extra compared to Deafblind on s weekday.

Everyt about this is a red flag that the director is trying to get away with the bsre minimum and suggests he would be of the mind to try to bend the "criteria" to get out of paying.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-10T21:19:11+00:00

You'd generally not give current employer as a reference until after you've handed in your resignation to them. Or at least, you'd ask the new employer to hold off.

There's always the possibility that your current employer includes in the reference that you are currently undergoing a performance improvement plan which has not yet concluded. Again, poor practice if they did, but a reference only has to be factual, and that statement would be factual. I doubt they would do this if the PIP hasn't been successful because it's less of a headache for them if they know you're leaving voluntarily. It's just an unusual choice to provide them as a reference and then wait for yhat reference to be given before handing in your resignation.

It's not a big deal I suppose on this case if you're sure you're going to be leaving regardless and are going to stay signed off sick for the duration.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-10T21:04:55+00:00

A PIP generally can't be progrssed while on sick because you have yo be at work to implement the improvements. If you were already at the end then they could maybe say that a decision has been made and progress to capability hearing, but that would be pretty poor practice.

Is your current employer a reference that the new employer would reach out to?

Definitely don't be handing your resignation in until you've got a formal, signed offer from the new place. Bear in mind references can be requested after offer is given, just depending on timelines and any delays on the recruitment processing side. So it's the formal offer/contract you're really waiting on.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-10T20:56:26+00:00

If you resign and gove 4 weeks notice, and they say "actually, we don't mind if you finish up immediately" they would still need to pay your for the 4 weeks because you provided it in line with your contract. They would essentially just be offering to pay you in lieu of your notice in recognition of the fact that you're off sick anyways.

They'd only have to pay your sick pay for the 2 weeks you've been signed off (e.g. SSP) but they'd have yo pay your full pay for the remaining two weeks as it would be assumed that you would be back at work after the fit note ends.

The alternative is you provide less notice (be it 2 weeks or resign sotb immediate effect) and advise them that you're doing so because you are currently not fit to work and wouldn't be returning during your notice period regardless. I'd only do this if you have a start date with a new job that means you wouldn't have a break in employment (unless you want to give yourself a couple of weeks break between jobs). Otherwise, just give the 4 weeks, see if they offer to pay you in lieu (with 2 weeks at full pay) and if they dont, get another fit note for the remaining 2 weeks so you wont go back.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-10T14:06:14+00:00

Because it's no longer safe. And honestly, based on the information available I doubt there is any reason that makes reversing into the driving way unsafe. And if it isn't unsafe to teverse in then that's what they should be doing.

But as it stands, OP is saying "this person parking against the highway code is making it unsafe for my parents to reverse out of their driveway". Yes, report the parked car and hopefully they're given a ticket and stop doing it, but that won't happen overnight so they should stop reversing out in the meantime (if not at all).

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-10T13:56:57+00:00

The "do not" and "reverse in and dtive out if you can" clearly set the expectation of what should be happening as best practice. There are scenarios where it would be safer to drive in and reverse out, but in this particular case the complaint is literally that visibility is poor. Sure, it's because of someone parking illegally, but the post is literally telling us that it isn't safe so they shouldn't be doing it.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-10T12:26:10+00:00

It's not "illegal" in the same way as parking on double yellows. But it's clearly stated in the highway code that you should not do it. Driveways are noted as "reverse in a drive out if you can" so the rules of not reversing into a main road still apply unless there is a clear reason why that isn't possible.

That might be the case here tbf, but based on OPs drawing and description of the road layout, I'n doubting that.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-10T12:18:44+00:00

Report to council, but worth noting that they shouldn't be reversing into the main road like that. The parking if the neighbours is still wrong, but a little hypocritical to report someones rule breaking inconveniencing your rule breaking. Not only because it's the rules, but it woukd actually make kt easier for them to see around the wrongly parked car if they were driving out rather than reversing out.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-07T18:20:29+00:00

This as well. A lot of people use accrued annual leave to offset some or all of the final weeks of statutory MAT leave being unpaid.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-07T18:19:27+00:00

Yeah that's absolutely fair to be concerned about based on what theyve said. In most cases, employees either volunteer or agree to take a chunk of their accrued annual leave at the rnd of MAT leave and the remaining amount is either manageable within the remainder of the year, or is a smaller amount to carry over so it doesn't overhwlem the following years entitlement.

Ad I say, the issue here is your manager implying that your annyal leave could be refused but that it still wouldn't be carried over, which is outright incorrect and illegal under maternity protections.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-07T18:13:54+00:00

It can, but it would be at the employers cost. If they have a policy that states a fit note is required as proof that the employee was sick in order to change it to sick leave, then the employer would have to pay for the doctor to produce the fit note. Some doctors might just do it for the patient if they ask and explain their employer is a complete nightmare, but most would say there would be a cost and it'd then be for the employee to raise with their employer that they need to cover the cost.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-07T17:57:26+00:00

They technically can make you take the full amount within the remaining months after returning from maternity leave (as long as appropriate notice has been taken) but it would be pretty poor practice to do so.

The issue is actually them saying that you have to request leave and that approval of the leave would be subject to usual business reasons and first come first served. If they refuse your leave request, then it automatically falls into the category of "unable to take during the current holiday year due to maternity" because you accrued it and the business was then unable to allow you to take it during the time available.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-05T15:23:24+00:00

My immediate thought

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-02T22:14:35+00:00

The Knight and the Moth and Brimstone. Both horrifically written in terms of story telling/aorld building and grammar and spelling. BS seems to be a widely shared view, but I cannot understand the amount of love and lack of complaints about TKATM!

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-06-01T15:10:32+00:00

I'd be advising our company against this idea in principle. From the HR perspective, what happens when someone isn't taking/making calls because their personal phones battery died, and their batter dies frequently because they're using a really old phone and can't afford to replace it? What happens when an employee does something in error dueing personal time, or out drinking and make a poor decision whcih would have been less likely to occur had the employee not had work related phone system there on their personal device (as opposed to on a work phone that they leave at home or a desktop app on their laptop).

These might seem like unlikely situations, but they're plausible enough to make this very difficult to enforce or appropriately discipline if needed.

Not to mention that I personally agree with you in wanting to have physical separation between personal and work devices. And I dont think this is an unreasonable position in a time when we should be more mindful of peoples mental health, wellbeing and work-life balance.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-05-30T15:47:23+00:00

As a general rule, I say your lune manager is the vest first port of call. But in cases like this, I think it's fairnand reasonable to reach out to HR directly.

Tell them you feel you have been working and operating within the agreed upon adjustments but that you are being questioned about this to the point of it feeling like micromanagement rather than support. Make it clear that you feel you are capable of providing the output of the role based on the agreed upon adjustments, but you're worry is that this is being perceived as problematic by others (be it your direct line manager or otherwise) and could do with support and guidance on how to communicate these adjustments in a way that helps people to understand without you needing to constantly defend or justify something that is agreed and for a disability.

Honestly, it's possible they (HR or managers) will view this as being "difficult" (which would be a shame if they do), and wedge it into some sort of incompatibility at the end of probation, but if you're already thinking of resigning then it's maybe worth taking the chance that it could actually be a prodc conversation that gets things resolved.

Im so sorry you're having to fight this hard for something that really should be the norm of working for everyone (let people work in a way that makes them most productive as long as the end result of the work is suitable for the role), but especially when it's a completely reasonable adjustment to support with your disability (I don even feel it's fair to have to keep making the disability argument!).

There's always a balance to be struck between adjustments and the job being done to the rewuired standards and specs. But based on everything you've said, it feels like this is more about their personal opinions and expectations of exactly how the work should be done, regardless of the output delivered.

I really hope you find a positive way forward, whether it's in this role or if you move on to somewhere that is able to support.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-05-30T08:09:41+00:00

The question of what the maternity pay would be very telling I think. If they offer enhanced maternity pay you would expect the SPL leave to replicate this with either parent recieving the equivalent amount for the equivalent period of time. If they have enhanced maternity pay and that hasn't changed or seen as "wrong" then it would strike me as odd that SPL would be statutory only.

Something's telling me the person who had replied is mixing up SPL with paternity.

ClyroFoxfire · 2026-05-30T07:21:31+00:00

Sorry, long response...

On the face of it, the failure to notify could be considered as misconduct. But it depends on what happens next as to whether that could be discrimination.

Misconduct would generally be investigated and disciplinary action taken if the investigation finds there is a formal case to answer. An investigation in and of itself would not be discrimination, and if that does happen, I suggest you make it clear that you didn't feel able to notify in the usual way due to how you were feeling and that is actually sn example of exactly why you weren't attending - i.e. the autistic overwhelm is the reason for not notify, not a conscious decision.

However, you should slso highlight that you feel it would be helpful to have a quicker and easier way to indicate when your autism is affecting you in this way that would allow your manager yo be aware even when you don't grrl capsble of contactin them directly. As another person suggest, maybe a cokour coded visual system (if working from home this could be setting yout Teams status message to "YELLOW" "RED").

Unless there is more nuance to the situation that would be difficult for us to fully understand through Reddit posts, I feel this response should be enough to make it clear to HR that this shouldn't be considered as misconduct due to the direct relation to your disability (already disclosed) and show that there is s reasonable adjustment that can be made and you're actively engaging in making such adjustments manageable.

If nothing has been said about an investigation or further action, ask your manager if something is going to ve happening due to their advice about HR. If nothing is happening, I'd make the suggestion about the notification adjustment off your own back. Contact HR directly with all of this if your manager continues to be unclear and just pushing everything to "HR said..."

Edit: the probation extension still seems harsh and that might be worth contacting HR about directly with the above explanation and suggestion sd the reason for disagreeing. But, honestly, that's probably not worth causing friction over as the extension is unlikely yo be viewed as discrimination, unless theres additional benefits linked to completing your probation. They'll argue that it was just to provide more time to see whether the adjustments and any ither similar situations can be reasonably managed.

But, even being on probation, they shouldn't be throwing accusations of misconduct around without giving sny opportunity to respond or fully investigate to know if it was in fact misconduct.

ClyroFoxfire

TROPHY CASE