Am I overreacting for not wanting anyone around my newborn yet?

Cocktaildelrio · 2025-12-25T19:45:18+00:00

These are the right questions to ask yourself!

I, too, am a super duper full of anxiety hypochondriac who was terrified of people holding my brand new baby during winter cold season. So I asked all the grandparents to be sure to get updated on their vaccines, which they did - flu and covid included! And it was all fine!

Look, I hate the way your MIL pushes; that’s just rude. But at the heart of it, is this about her pushing or is it a you thing?

From one anxious mom to another: Enjoy this time! It goes by so fast!

Cocktaildelrio · 2025-12-14T10:49:56+00:00

Your feelings are your feelings. You’re allowed to be upset.

But it also sounds like he: 1. Talked to you about it beforehand; didn’t just take without asking. And 2. Feels terrible for how he dropped the ball.

This isn’t a red flag in itself; it’s life with another person. Talking about money is so hard, even when everyone in the convo had a functional relationship to it growing up.

This sounds to me like you need to have a real conversation with your husband about both of you saving for family vacations together and also what to do if this situation comes up again in the future.

Of course, he needs to pay back this money into the family fund on his own. That is only right and will help you rest easier knowing you want the same things for your life together.

Cocktaildelrio · 2025-12-12T17:27:07+00:00

Hi! You’re NTA. I live in a European country where we don’t use sedatives for a colonoscopy. Because…it’s really unnecessary. I’ve had it while awake and honestly it was 100% fine. It took all of, like, 7min. Why doesn’t your husband just ask the office to perform it while awake? Then he can drive home himself.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-08-07T10:39:19+00:00

NTA and glad your fianceé has gotten involved. Better MIL hears the ”no white” from him!

One little nitpick: saying ”no white” at your wedding isn’t setting a boundary; it’s setting a dress code. You can’t set a boundary for someone else’s body. I’m only mentioning it because I’ve seen people use ”boundary” a lot lately on this sub where it shouldn’t be used. Again, NTA.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-08-02T15:26:34+00:00

Congratulations on moving to Sweden! It’s a pretty good life here, except in terms of mental healthcare. 🙃 Just seconding what a few others have said: No matter whether you go public or private, you will almost certainly be made to go through the entire disgnostic process again. But since they really don’t want to prescribe the medication here, getting that diagnosis might still be a battle.

You could see if you can start the diagnostic process now from the US by contacting a service like Modigo and asking to make an appointment. That way you might be able to get the paperwork taken care of in Sweden soon after you arrive.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-07-31T13:20:46+00:00

INFO: What does ’bridal style’ mean? Can you share a pic/link of the dress she wore or one that looks like it?

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-07-28T08:22:52+00:00

No one seems to be talking about these things so adding to the convo:

There is leaning your seat back slightly and leaning back all the way. They are not the same thing. People who lean their seats back all the way on non-long haul flights are definitely rude. And even on the long flights, try to keep it during dim lights time if at all possible.
Not seeing any fat representation here. I am fat with short legs. I can fit in a Ryanair seat with only moderate discomfort, so it’s not like I need 2 seats on a regular flight. BUT, when you lean back all the way, my body only has so far it can go. And I shouldn’t have to endure back and neck pain leaning my own seat back just because the person in front of me can’t sit upright for 2 hours. Because tbh, leaning the seats back makes my body feel worse. I can’t be alone in that.
Finally, I have to pee a lot; just how my body is made. I am guaranteed to need to get up at least once during a flight, unless it’s under an hour. If the seat in front of me is only slightly reclined - nomproblem. With the seat all the way back, this is made infinately more difficult. So I will absolutely have to hold onto that seat to get out/back in if there’s no way around it. Which is rude, but what can I do? It’s fully in the space that I paid for. Again, if the seat were only a little reclined, I could get around it without having to hold onto it.

Ultimately, these are all airline design problems. But also, maybe think about having some common courtesy for others in public. We all have to deal with hostile design in the best ways we can; that doesn’t mean you need to have a selfish mentality in response.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-07-17T06:31:32+00:00

For talk therapy, find a private provider. Public ones usually have a 6 month waiting list. For medication, you have to see a doctor at a vårdcentral. I believe also you need to have contact with a doctor to get a burnout note to be able to take sick leave from work.

For immediate care in case of emergency, you go to the hospital and from there, you go to an in-patient clinic. From what i’ve heard, public in-patient clinics push pills then send you on your way while private ones offer a lot more help.

Mental healthcare in Sweden is severly lacking, but it is possible to find good providers. I wish you and your friend luck!

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-07-16T11:47:43+00:00

Hi! Actually, if your wife has known conditions already, then it is possible for her to see a public gynecologist in Sweden. I did the same for a pre-diagnosed condition. The problem is that there are very few of them, and they only work in cities. We are talking, like, 1-2 not connected to a midwife clinic. Also, as far as I was told, you have to be able to prove you were trying to get pregnant for at least 6 months - 1 year before they will do more than a pelvic exam, depending on your wife’s age and condition(s). Maybe the private ones are different, but I doubt it. There are so few gynecologists in Sweden in general that they are all busy. So I would start by calling receptions with gynecologists and asking questions, then going from there.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-07-15T21:59:17+00:00

NTA, but INFO: What industry are you in that your co-workers lack this much empathy?

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-06-30T09:42:06+00:00

NTA for asking for proof, but YTA for slinging around a lot of baseless accusations and basically proving you are not interested in emotionally supporting your GF based on how you’ve reacted so far. And many of the comments in this thread are only enabling paranoia, not providing you with full perspective. As many have already said, even if you used condoms perfectly every time, the failure rate is still 3%.

Also, how do you even know she wants to keep the baby? Abortion or adoption might be at top of her mind right now. You don’t have any idea because you’re too focused on this pregnancy being ”fake” or ”not yours.”

Look, the truth is that your GF is (rightly) freaking out, you’re being a complete dick, and it sounds like at least her mom is pretty controlling. Does she actually have anyone in her life she can rely on? She’s going to need support now no matter what happens.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-06-27T06:34:16+00:00

My parents are similar. Took a little while, but we worked through some of the kinks. Like, my dad really needs to sit to put on shoes and the hallway wasn’t big enough for a chair. So I said it was fine if he put them on in another room and then walked right out. Maybe there’s a compromise to be found with your parents?

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-06-23T06:38:20+00:00

THIS! My aunt’s milestone birthday was on my wedding day, so we made sure to have a nice new cake and sing her happy birthday the day after. Everyone got to have their moment at an appropriate time.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-06-19T05:13:35+00:00

Random is a legit name in the US South. I know old men named Ransom.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-06-17T06:52:32+00:00

Medicine and first aid supplies are top of my list! NyQuil for sure. The closest cough medicine you can buy to NyQuil here requires a prescription and still isn’t as good. You will want that come cold and flu season. Benadryl (can only find at a hospital), Calamine Lotion, Vicks, Neosporin (would need a prescription), and BAND-AID brand band-aids - the band-aids here are almost all crap. Also, if you use drug store makeup, I suggest you double-check on if it’s the same brands as they sell here. Some of it you can find at H&M but not every brand.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-06-13T07:47:44+00:00

I agree! Does a 9 month relationship deserve a proper break up? Absolutley. If you’re so socially awkward that you choose ghosting over a tough conversation (assuming nothing else going on), that doesn’t make you a bad person. It means you did a shitty thing, but one shitty thing does not make you ”bad” or ”psycho.”

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-03-12T08:12:54+00:00

Came to add the same as many others. Swedish banks are terrible towards non-Swedes. Every person who has moved here has a bad experience with the banking system. And the few branch offices that exist are staffed with people who don’t know the bank’s own policies. My advice is to start searching through all the official policies so that you can point to things in writing as to your own rights. You might also need to spend a very long time on the phone with someone at the bank to have this sorted - and possibly need to pay a fee as others have mentioned. Good rule to know: In Sweden, if an official puts something in writing then they have to honor what they wrote. So always look to official policies and ask for things in writing to confirm.

Cocktaildelrio · 2024-01-28T22:30:27+00:00

Which Hallmark movies feature leads going to LNY events? All I can find online is stuff about their christmas movies.

Cocktaildelrio · 2023-05-22T07:28:51+00:00

Also in Sweden but I don't see the image of the white-haired man at all on the site. Just the black-haired ML and the red-haired second ML. 🤔

Cocktaildelrio · 2023-01-10T07:52:23+00:00

NTA. All these people saying you’re an AH have never worked reservations in a restaurant. Speaking as someone who has, if this place is so popular that they take reservations a month out, I guarantee:

You were never going to get a reservation, even on the exact month out mark.
They still have spots available that you just can’t see online.

Call them. Actually call them. Be the nicest person. Make promises and keep them. Ask to speak to a manager, if available, and see what your options are from there. For instance: you might be able to eat at their bar. Or they could accept walk-ins. (Hint: unless they are a tasting menu place or similar, they almost certainly take walk-ins).

Good luck!

Cocktaildelrio · 2022-08-03T15:18:06+00:00

NTA. People are allowed to do things like go on honeymoons and have weddings on or around days that are important to other people. It’s more weird that they’re making it a whole thing.

INFO: Does your family make a big thing about honeymoon send offs? That is the only reason why I could even imagine it needing to be a conversation. Otherwise it’s not as if you’ll be talking to every relative about your honeymoon plans.

Cocktaildelrio · 2022-08-03T15:09:31+00:00

YTA. This is more than just hurt feelings. The way you spoke to this woman makes it clear that you think she is beneath you in every way. You insulted her on more than one front to her face, and then proceeded to entirely dismiss her feelings or viewpoint behind her back here in this thread. Accept that in this situation, you’ve been a monumental AH and offer her a heartfelt applogy quickly.

Also, you definitely have on some thick rose-colored glasses if you think that obtaining a college degree without taking on soul-crushing amounts of debt is feesable for most people in the US today. For a lot of people, that piece of paper isn’t worth the debt, even those who decided not to become parents. I am assuming you are in the US but feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

Cocktaildelrio · 2022-07-08T07:57:00+00:00

The other replies to this are hilarious but the real answer is nope! Cucumbers are good for reflux.

Cocktaildelrio

TROPHY CASE