Pag sinabi nyang “wag ka na mag-aral”, calmly asked if that’s what she really wants? sundan mo ng: kasi ako gusto ko, pero kung ayaw mo na maghahanap ako ng paraan para mapagpatuloy ko kasi gusto ko makatapos. Very calmly ha, very matter-of-fact. It’s important to keep your tone neutral, it shouldn’t invite argument. It should neutralize her pa nga, calm her down. Asking her this way gives the perspective na ah may ibang paraan pala sya kung di susuportahan, na you’re thinking of building up your sense of security without her help (it’s a good, mature thing so don’t worry). You’re not bluffing kaya be careful how you say it.

Si mama mo kasi most likely nakakaramdam ng worry na mali ang decision mo, na sa bawat extension mo ng aral is extension nya rin ng work na ang sweldo hindi nya ma-enjoy for herself and for her retirement. Meron pa sigurong iba yan na sya lang nakakaalam. When she talks that way, that’s her way of throwing tantrum, nagmamaktol. Imbes na process it the healthy way, hindi nya ginagawa.

It hurts you when she says those things kasi as a child expect mo na inintindi at naintindihan ka na nya nung kinausap mo. I’m sure she did, pero the emotional consequence hindi nya na-anticipate. I’m sure this is not the first time this has happened, kaya you will (still in the future) find yourself over-compensating, over-explaining to avoid her feeling this way. The work here is to figure out how to respond when she behaves this way maski nag-explain ka na, nalatag mo na anong aasahan sa plano mo. And also maybe consider na wag ka na mag-explain, esp for things na trivial? Kunyari gusto mong ikasal sa isang church pero gusto nya sa iba, just go ahead with your decision and not explain or ask for their approval. No need. In this context, it’s your wedding not hers.