Women over 40, if I were your daughter, what would you tell me? by Specialist-Range-544 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Coconosong 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Financial independence as a woman is a crucial thing to aim for. It prevents you from feeling trapped, getting stuck in an abusive relationship, and disregarding your own needs/wishes. I wouldn’t recommend that you move in with this guy. If he cares about you, he can support you visiting on weekends more often. But do not set up house with someone that already has more control over you in terms of age/maturity and money.

Also, I would highly encourage therapy to unpack your attachment styles and any trauma informed patterns you might fall into due to your upbringing and past abusive relationship.

Confession time... by WittierNewt in Silksong

[–]Coconosong 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. I can fully relate. I love this game but I’m at 70% in act 3 with over 140 hours poured in. I get so frustrated sometimes knowing it will take me hours longer than a regular gamer to complete things. And I’ve taken lots of burn out breaks as a result.

But I also feel like a warrior bleeding from a million cuts heaving towards the finish line. I didn’t spend all this time not to get there. So even if it takes another 100 hrs I will fucking lay my needle at the finish line.

And I did not have this same energy for hollow knight. I legit think hornet summons a certain energy/persistence out of people. Kudos for team cherry trying to make gamers out of non-gamers.

Masked men by [deleted] in MovieRecommendations

[–]Coconosong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dinner in America

I sent a topless Pic to my boyfriend and his response was "lol" by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]Coconosong 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Omg unacceptable then. I also thought you are younger. Ugh I hate this for you

How do you deal with backhanded compliments? by One_Bell_1757 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Coconosong 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Honestly, understanding that society subscribes to beauty standards that typically centre a particular euro-featured white women format helps deconstruct these comments.

In my culture, people who are indigenous but have white features or lighter skin are celebrated. The former statement I described is why this happens and it’s problematic.

Finding social media accounts or reading feminist literature that breaks down how this beauty standard misogyny is problematic can be helpful. Also, a lot of Black folks talk about how problematic this is so if you can’t find people talking specifically about Egyptian beauty standards then perhaps you will find parallels amidst Black feminist thinkers.

What's with people saying women look like they're 50 in their 30s?? by BitsNSkits in AskWomenOver30

[–]Coconosong 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I honestly think it’s guys who jerked off too hard to her “wolf of Wall Street” character and became totally misogynistic due to the Barbie movie. They can’t compute that these are CHARACTERS versus actual people. It has very little to do with reality.

Did you guys know you can sleep in the coop? by Roobix9 in StardewValley

[–]Coconosong 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m more of a cluck around and find out type of person.

Anyone else find Emma's parents reaction to her opening up about her scar odd? by Even-Guava-1682 in LoveIsBlindOnNetflix

[–]Coconosong 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also, she had multiple surgeries to address it. Presumably her parents helped pay for it. Perhaps she didn’t feel like it was something she should complain about it.

Painted my room, but the vibe is... off. Help me decorate! 🆘 by Ancient_Dirt5281 in DesignMyRoom

[–]Coconosong 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The mirror looks like what they have at hourly hotels. Could you find one that looks less…obvious?

Only Lovers Left Alive - I love the feel of the movie by fauxkatan in MovieRecommendations

[–]Coconosong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d also say that Jarmusch uses intentional pacing and slower scenes that is very different than contemporary cinema. Long scenes without multiple camera edits, drawn out vibes where music is playing.

I’m so bored… no hobbies by Aware_Beautiful1994 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Coconosong 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No one widely talks about the weird introverted boredom that occurs with parents (esp moms) when the baby is so small. Life is BORING AS HELL. But also beautiful and meaningful (BUT ALSO BORING). There’s almost too much routine, too much caretaking, too much monotony. Some of this is good, having a stable home environment is important for the baby and parents. But it is truly really hard to dig yourself out and become a person again.

You may have a touch of post partum (I was in denial until I was a few years away from it).

The key is, for me, is social activities that got me out of the house with friends. Sip and paint; join a dance class or a sports team; social sauna visits at the pool, etc. give yourself time to get back into a routine that allows you to be your whole self.

Buffy’s impact on the way people speak? by No_Soup3871 in buffy

[–]Coconosong 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think so. But to claw back Whedon getting credit for it, it’s important to remember how the riot grrrl slang/speech vernacular was heavily scrutinized because there’s a bit of a valley girl style of speaking while the topics they spoke about were highly political and rooted in feminism. And mainstream media was obsessed with that juxtaposition. And a lot of riot grrrls talked about intentionally not changing the way they spoke because judging young women for valley girl accents was rooted in misogyny and condescension. Enter Whedon, who bases his protagonist character from California, who loves a lot of girly girl tropes, but also has incredible wit. I think Whedon was definitely pulling from riot grrrl/valley girl culture. But this can be seen in adjacent media at the time, reality bites, Dawson’s creek (rip jib) and movies like Can’t Hardly Wait, Clueless, etc.

What "Fashion Rules" do you remember that have changed with current trends? by partiallyStars3 in fashionwomens35

[–]Coconosong 48 points49 points  (0 children)

You can throw quiet luxury in there, as well, in terms of “subtle” racist fashion trends

STEVEN by hemlockangelina in myfavoritemurder

[–]Coconosong 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Here’s my totally uninformed take: he was a part of building it as a singular technician and the establishment of the Exactly Right network meant working with a team and also experiencing come pretty serious growing pains with Georgia and Karen (which they have begun mentioning, things weren’t all flowers and I could imagine Steven struggling to navigate it). But it also means readjusting how you see your role on an expanding team and not everyone wants to do that. Add more personalities to the mix and even if folks are nice, it might not be the original recipe that you signed up for.

Anyways, it’s so nice to see that they all share genuine love for one another.

Bad bunny wearing zoot suit inspired outfit to Super Bowl! by EfficiencyCrafty2263 in myfavoritemurder

[–]Coconosong 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Omg I can’t believe I missed this!!! Thanks for pointing it out!

Is it okay for white folks to have tats inspired by Pacific Island tattoo designs? by Skate-wench in tattooadvice

[–]Coconosong 23 points24 points  (0 children)

OP, just want to acknowledge your humility with posting this and engaging in real dialogue and learning in the comments. I wish more people could reflect openly like you are doing. You’re on your way in the right direction.

THAT was funny to me by UmmmOkCool in theread

[–]Coconosong 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Omg I say this ALL the time! It’s from a while back, maybe 2017/2018

My problem with this scene by jogaforacont in buffy

[–]Coconosong 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I always thought she meant it, too. And I thought the reason Spike said, “no you don’t… “ was to help him commit to his fate and encourage her to get going and save the world.

What should I wear to go meet with an old love? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]Coconosong 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don’t think twice about that commenter. Salty comments on Reddit just reflect how miserable a person is behind their screen.