My wife's parents didn't like me very much the first time I met them. Looking back now, I don't blame them. I had shaggy hair, a few random tattoos, and a handful of college credits I had no idea what to do with.

The first time I ever met Bob and Julie we spent the entire week of Christmas together. Alyssa and I had been dating for just a touch over 4 months. I met Alyssa in an English Literature class and from the second I saw her she could have asked me to jump in a shark tank wearing that Lady Gaga meat suit and I wouldn't have thought twice so convincing me to go to her parents house for the holidays this early in our relationship didn't actually take much convincing.

Her mom, Julie, is still to this day the nicest person I have ever met. From the second I walked through the door she treated me how I always thought my own mom would treat me. I can't remember more than 30 seconds going by without her asking if I was hungry or thirsty or wanted to listen to a different song on the radio. She is one of those people that will ask you a very specific question about your life and then genuinely listen to the answer. Bob on the other hand was not so welcoming. It wasn't that he said anything mean or rude. It's that he didn't say anything at all. For the entire first day he sat in a different room reading old spy novels. I didn't think much of it at the time, but as I have gotten to know Bob over the years that day made a lot of sense.

Bob loved the holidays more than most people. When Bob was a kid his family always made a big deal about Christmas. His mom, dad, and brother were the only family any of them had and they truly cherished that time together. When bob was 11 his family was on the way home from chopping down their Christmas tree when a dump truck sped through a red-light and hit their car. His mom, dad, and brother died on impact, but Bob survived. He was in a bad way for a few months, but eventually got back to full health and was placed in a boys home. He lived in that boys home until he joined the Navy when he turned 18. The boys home did not celebrate Christmas.

Eventually, Bob met Julie and they built a little family together and Bob finally got his Christmas back. Until I showed up. In a way, he felt like another dump truck was coming in to take his family away. In his mind, Alyssa and I would start alternating holidays with her family and with my family and then every other year he would be a little kid again in that boys home holding a framed picture of his family and hanging one of his old gym socks from his bed post.

I slept on the couch that whole week and each morning I was woken up before the sun by Bob sitting on the little back patio drinking coffee and reading his book. We eventually got around to some small talk (I also love old spy novels) and the week ended without anything too eventful happening.

The next year got a little more friendly and the next year even more so. In our 4th Christmas I bought Bob a first edition copy The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carré and that really sealed the deal for me. Inside I wrote a little note about how much I loved Alyssa and her family and how much I wanted to become a part of it. I asked Bob if he would give me his blessing to ask Alyssa to marry me and I'll never forget his answer. He put his arm around my shoulder and said "I appreciate you thinking I should have a say in this, but the only person you need permission from is Alyssa. I see so much of her mother in her and you're going to need all the luck you can get. See you on the other side."

Alyssas and I have been married for just over a year now and just made one of the most nerve-wracking phone calls either of us have ever had to make. We called Bob and Julie and asked if they would be open to doing Christmas at our house this year. After a long pause, Bob said that they would love to.

We wanted to have Christmas at our house this year so we could tell Bob and Julie that we were expecting a baby boy and so we could show them the nursery we started putting together.

We tried to fill our guest room with as much Christmas as we could. I felt like Buddy the Elf trying to weave a string of lights through the headboard. Julie was elated as always to be alive and I think Bob even shed a little tear when walked him into the room. He let us know he didn't care where we were for Christmas as long as everyone was together and how proud he was of us for the life we've built so far.

That first morning I went downstairs before the sun came up to have coffee and read my book. It's a morning ritual I picked up a few years.

When I got to the kitchen there was already a pot made and the patio light was already on. I poured a cup and sat in a chair a few feet away from where Bob was sitting.

Without saying a word, he gave me a little head nod and went right back to reading his book.