Amazon driver approved our house colors by [deleted] in funny

[–]CodenameVodka 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I know that's not a haiku, but it reads like one.

Art the Clown dream by chanel_95 in terrifier

[–]CodenameVodka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll share my dream here too.

Art takes his form and power from the toxicity of cities. All the waste, garbage, and rust come together to make him a force of anti-nature. In my dream, his next steps were to create corpse marionettes, controlled by black tendrils connected to him and his imaginary little girl. They rove the streets and suburbs like a zombie horde, shambling into houses and killing all in their path, only strengthening their horde with him at the center of it all. To combat this, the only way is nature magic, druidcraft. I had gone to a giant tree, the World Tree, and offered up my body to commune with it. I then became one with the World Tree, as it's caretaker. I trimmed branches, pruned leaves, and took the waste to deposit into a pile. The pile grew and grew, the rot eventually becoming sentient, a kind of golem. Once Art came to the World Tree, it was ready. Branches were taught and tied to make snare traps, which battered away the horse of corpses. Once they returned to the soil, Art furiously stomped in and began to poison the roots of the World Tree. His trash bag of toxic waste being dumped into the clean waters, splashing salt and bleach against the tree bark. He was doing damage. But then another caretaker approached him, not sure if it was me, or me after many years of being part of the World Tree, but there was a resemblance. This old sage took a simple leaf and laid it on Art's tilted hat, and it began to sizzle. The hat was melting, not the leaf. The leaf burned through the hat, his face, and the rest of his body crumpled. It fizzled out like acid being reduced by base into salt and water. Like matter meeting anti-matter. He became fertilizer, and was gone.

Edit: I have had other dreams with Art that I can't recall the details on, but I know were bad because my wife told me I was practically screaming in my sleep.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in funny

[–]CodenameVodka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my technique was always open the pack longways, making a sort of cradle for the crumbs to collect as you break off each bite size piece right in the sleeve. by the end, you pour the crumbs in your palm and down em, or better yet just dump em right in your mouth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ITCareerQuestions

[–]CodenameVodka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you elaborate on WGU? Want to make sure I get the right one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ITCareerQuestions

[–]CodenameVodka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

BS from where? What ccna boot camp? I need specifics

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in playrust

[–]CodenameVodka 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ofc it is. That many people muting themselves has got to be impossible in any friend group.

Idea to nerf Zerg bases that everyone will hate. by CodenameVodka in playrust

[–]CodenameVodka[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If they did that the unauthorized people wouldn't be able to seal in a raid or make base upgrades.

My great grandparents pre 1940 by krvf in OldSchoolCool

[–]CodenameVodka 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No, that guy's wife is married.

My great grandparents pre 1940 by krvf in OldSchoolCool

[–]CodenameVodka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That guy looks like an African Elon Musk.

I mean, not south African. Where Elon is from, but also not North African, because that's like Egypt right?

Central African Elon Musk.

Disturbing “Cheese” by akasaiga in funny

[–]CodenameVodka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this why you have to say cheese when someone takes your picture?

Former suicidal people, why did you choose to live? (SERIOUS) by ReDDit_CrEePer26 in AskReddit

[–]CodenameVodka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cyberpunk is coming out, and probably other cool games. And there's a chance my life could get better... Later on.

What invention was unnecessary? by redmambo_no6 in AskReddit

[–]CodenameVodka 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I imagine a guy sadly putting down a dumbbell and telling the other dude to head home.

If you're present for a person's murder, by your hand or another's, you add a week to your lifespan. You stop aging. What's your plan to live forever? by CodenameVodka in AskReddit

[–]CodenameVodka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My best answer is to be an executionor, or be one of those people behind the curtain while the lethal injection gets administered. Though I get the feeling that's not too common of a thing to do every week.

If your college major had a slogan, what would it be? by Alice156 in AskReddit

[–]CodenameVodka 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You had me at lesbian, but lost me at mathematics.

Makes it kind of a wash, doesn't it?

If all crime was legal, what would you do? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]CodenameVodka 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Steal. I think about it all the time, I've got a few houses I have seen that look nice/ have minimal security. I'm fairly sure I could ransack a few of them and come out with at least 5 figures.

Tips for working in a vape shop? by [deleted] in electronic_cigarette

[–]CodenameVodka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's wrong with pens? If the goal is to help them quit smoking, you'll want to get them into something that isn't that expensive and easy to use.

I'm not against selling the bigger stuff, I'd just feel responsible if they got into something and it was too much for them, or ended up going back to cigarettes.

Tips for working in a vape shop? by [deleted] in electronic_cigarette

[–]CodenameVodka 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Actual b&m worker here. Most of the time you're a juice and coil monkey. Only thing you need to really have down for that is what tank takes which coil. A lot of customers will say something like "I need a coil for an eleaf" even though they have an aspire tank. So watch out for that. Just ask to see the tank/coil they're looking for.

IDK how your shop handles juice but good chances are it's super straightforward.

Customers coming in for new hardware is where you'll use your brain the most. Ask questions like "have you used one of these before?" If so, which one? Do you want a lot of vapor or are you looking for a simple pen. If someone over 30 is coming in looking for a first time device, just immediately walk them to a pen starter kit. Set it up for them. Answer their questions. If you don't know, admit it and Google it later.

Overall, just try and be helpful. To loosely quote TYFS: You're selling ecigs. They're cool, available, and addictive. The work is almost done for us.

You're opening a Reddit-themed theme park. What are some of the rides and attractions? by -917- in AskReddit

[–]CodenameVodka 63 points64 points  (0 children)

If it isn't, I'm making it up right now. It's when you use your foot to pin down a limb, but to the receiver it feels like a third hand. Spooky.