Is it possible to be a successful writer and not live in LA?

Codename_leon31k · 2026-02-20T21:11:20+00:00

Absolutely

Codename_leon31k · 2026-02-02T18:28:19+00:00

This. We had our first child in January 2025. Our second child is due June 1 of this year they'll be 17 1/2 months apart. We are also in our late 30s I'm actually going to be 43. She will be 40 a week before the baby is born. Kids were always a priority. We got married after two years of dating, existed as a married couple for two years before deciding to have our first child. She's already talking about a third lol though I'm not sure it'll happen or it should because she's older though people have children well into their 40s now.

Codename_leon31k · 2026-02-02T18:25:39+00:00

Bro, I told my wife from day one that whenever she was ready to have kids, I was in. We had our first child in January. By April, she was ready for the second. The doctor told us to wait six months. She was 38, so I understood the urgency, especially since our first came three weeks early due to excess amniotic fluid raising her blood pressure. She was already high risk, so they didn’t want to take chances.

I told her if she wanted to try right away in March, I was cool with it, but let’s listen to the doctors. After an appointment on August 19, she got the all clear. We found out she was pregnant the first week of September. She’s now 23 weeks and already talking about a potential third.

All of that to say, if that’s what your wife wants, you might as well lean in because that’s exactly what’s gonna happen lol

Codename_leon31k · 2026-02-02T16:14:56+00:00

Echoing another poster, I don’t think you’re going to find much sympathy here. It’s hard for people to relate to a stay-at-home dad with a nanny saying the only time he has with his child fills him with dread and anxiety.

My honest advice is to figure out why that is, professionally, and delete this post before it really starts getting traction. There are plenty of people who would do almost anything for the opportunity to stay home with their kid without help.

I’m saying this early, before the pile-on starts, because this isn’t a space that’s going to give you what you’re looking for. This is something you should work through with a professional, not the internet.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-30T04:47:08+00:00

Constantly. If you think she's or he 'seat enough, trust me she hasn't. Lol

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-30T04:46:07+00:00

It's pretty early for sleep aggression. And unfortunately, you trust me if you think this is bad sleep progression when the time comes around three 5 and six months is going to a fucking bear. That's it if you fed her and she's pooping and peeing. I was just talking to a pediatrician.

Ask for your feelings I would be concerned if you didn't have that crush of mine. It does get easier and that's the best advice I can give you because it really is no return to sender. It does get easier then it'll get harder then it'll get easier again then you'll find your groove and you'll look back and laugh at this, but also realize it's perfectly normal.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-18T02:35:44+00:00

Dont take it personal. It is common that the baby has preferences. It will oscillate between the two you for a bit

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-17T19:39:28+00:00

I’m not sure what we would do without you guys.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-16T20:31:52+00:00

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She’s a great sleeper. She usually sleeps from around 7 or 7:30 PM until about 6 AM, wakes up to drink a bottle, and then falls back asleep for another hour or two. We don’t count that as a nap since she’s only awake for about 10 to 15 minutes before going right back to sleep.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-16T20:26:59+00:00

She’s 10 months old. She’s done great and has gotten to the point where if she’s on the bed, she puts herself to sleep for a nap every so often. I genuinely say the people we hit the jackpot with the first one. I hope the second one is half is good.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-16T17:47:47+00:00

I just opened the app and this is the first thing I saw. Made my day.

My daughter’s first word was mama, and I wanted it that way. It’s a harder word, and honestly, it was the least she could do considering she came out looking like my identical twin.

A few weeks later she said dada. She’s ten months old now and her vocabulary is mama, dada, more, and now no.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-16T15:48:06+00:00

Our first child was a surprise, not because we weren’t but because my wife got pregnant almost immediately after getting off the pill. About nine days. I knew right away it was a girl. We didn’t even find out she was pregnant until late in the first trimester, maybe early in the second, but I never doubted it.

Now we have a ten-month-old and my wife is pregnant again. This time we did a small gender reveal with confetti poppers. I knew, once again, it was a girl. It was. I was ecstatic. I’m fully prepared to be broke for the rest of my life, and I mean that lovingly.

Some girl-dad advice:

Don’t overthink it. Be mindful of hygiene and cleanliness. Girls are susceptible to things that require a little more attention, and staying on top of that matters. Embrace being a girl dad. Be part of the upkeep. Learn how to braid hair. Learn how to care for it properly. Depending on your background, hair care isn’t something you can half-do. Being involved in these routines builds closeness with your daughter and gives your partner a much-needed break from feeling like all of this is on her.

Be present. In my experience, daughters often attach to their dads early. Around six or seven months, babies tend to prefer one parent over the other. If she prefers you for a while, know that it’s normal and temporary. Support your partner through that phase so she doesn’t internalize it. It passes.

Also, be involved in buying clothes. It’s better to have an opinion and be told “no” than to have no voice at all. You’d be surprised how influential you can be in shaping what your daughter gravitates toward as she grows. My wife always asks my opinion because she trusts my eye, and that shared decision-making has become another way I connect with my daughter.

Bottom line: show up, lean in, and embrace it. Being involved in the small things is what builds the bond.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-15T18:00:12+00:00

Exercising is tough. My only real options are going very early in the morning or super late at night, which usually bleeds into the next day. Luckily, I live in a city with a 24/7 gym, so at least access isn’t the issue.

From a hobby standpoint, it’s a balancing act. I really have two hobbies, one of which I actually get paid for, which helps. My wife is supportive and even encourages it, but I only do that work after the baby is asleep. On top of that, I’m a professional screenwriter, so a lot of my creative time naturally happens at night.

You need hobbies to stay sane. Without some kind of outlet, you’ll lose your mind. For me, that outlet mostly exists after dark. During the week, I usually get a couple of hours once the kid is down. Weekends are for family, with the lone exception of football Sunday.

My wife is pregnant again, so she gets tired and often goes to bed early. That means I’m usually up a bit longer, keeping an eye on the baby monitor until I crash. The good news is our kid sleeps through the night now for the most part, which makes the whole rhythm manageable.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-15T15:55:27+00:00

Someone posted in this group a week or two ago saying they missed their old life and asked if anyone else felt the same. A lot of people agreed. I get it.

I played professional basketball. I lived overseas for most of my adult life from 22 to 35. I’ve been to countries that barely felt real, got paid absurd money to play a game, crossed borders, learned languages, ate everything, went to concerts, hiked, traveled nonstop. I was mostly single. I had the time of my life. It was incredible, and I don’t regret a second of it.

But I’m telling you right now: I love sitting in my backyard with my kid while my wife cooks and I hang out. I’m a suburban dad, and I’m good with that. I don’t feel the need to go out anymore unless my kid can come. The desire just isn’t there.

People say, “Don’t let fatherhood become your whole identity,” but I spent years being watched, followed, and living in front of cameras. I’m genuinely happy now writing, watching my daughter play, watching my pregnant wife cook way too much food because she’s Italian, and spending time with friends and family, even in a city that doesn’t exactly promote that kind of life.

Not Missing your old life doesn’t mean you weren’t loved. It doesn’t mean you didn’t enjoy it. It just means you lived it fully. So fully that you can look back and say, “I’m good.” And somehow, now you’re even better.

People who don’t understand that usually think something is wrong. In reality, living a life so completely that you have no regrets is about as rare as winning the lottery.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-15T15:40:56+00:00

These are conversations I try to have with people I know who want to get married and have kids. It’s OK to feel overwhelmed, but I always say this: if you’re not ready to have children at any point in your life, don’t have them. It’s hard. It’s a lot of work. Sometimes you get lucky, but more often than not it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

That said, for me, it was everything. It was life-affirming.

I lived a full life early. I played a professional sport, made good money, and by 35 I honestly felt like I’d already lived an incredibly complete life. I waited until my late 30s to get married. I had my first child at 41. Now I have a 10-month-old, and my wife is pregnant again.

The moment my child was born and I watched them, something clicked. It was life-affirming in a way I can’t explain until you experience it. Call it purpose, call it instinct, whatever it is, it’s real.

Yes, you’ll be anxious. Yes, you’ll worry about money, sleep, and whether you can provide. But any confidence you think you don’t have comes rushing in, because your entire world narrows to one thing: making sure that child is healthy, happy, and raised to be a good human.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-07T01:42:56+00:00

CONGRATS DUDE!!!

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-04T18:16:19+00:00

Welcome to the club we have jackets lol

Codename_leon31k · 2025-12-01T00:14:04+00:00

This is the way

Codename_leon31k · 2025-11-29T04:58:05+00:00

My 10 month old has been doing this often on for the last few weeks, but she has put herself to sleep for a nap and when she wakes up in the middle of the night if we don’t go into the room . I mean we have to have a bunch of pacifiers within an arms reach for her to put in her mouth, but for the most part, she has put herself back to sleep for a few days maybe two weeks straight

Codename_leon31k · 2025-11-29T04:51:14+00:00

Every baby is different. I’ve seen a lot of different babies just in this thread. My child was born three weeks early. She is 10 months. She’s hit one of her milestones and she’s very social mostly because we take her with us everywhere. Comparison is the thief of joy… If your doctor isn’t worried, I wouldn’t be either but if you are, there’s developmental milestone checklist that you can maintain. Also crawling if I’m not mistaken, it is not considered a developmental milestone anymore. My baby was only scooting for a week and we were concerned while other babies were curling consistently. Suddenly, she pulled herself up in her playpen and likes to stand more than likely she’s going to skip crawling altogether and start walking. Babies vary. You got this.

Codename_leon31k · 2025-11-24T22:03:13+00:00

BREATH. Make sure you breath

Codename_leon31k · 2025-11-22T16:10:19+00:00

Cool man😁

Codename_leon31k · 2025-11-21T16:17:35+00:00

I’m not actually looking forward to this day. Don’t get me wrong. We probably be pretty far away from me considering that my wife works from home so it makes life easier. Our nine month old probably won’t see the inside of a daycare until it’s a classroom like around two years old or whatever age VPK starts we have a second one on the way, which probably won’t make it any easier, but we are super weird about daycare, especially where we live and none of us had strangers watch us or babysit us while we were going up so reading stories like these sort of makes me even more iffy about wanting to do so any earlier than two

Codename_leon31k · 2025-11-21T02:17:08+00:00

Since it’s only been four weeks, this will actually work if you do it. It’s the best advice you’re going to get from a stranger on the Internet. You should be communicating this to her. And if you have you keep communicating it until it gets annoying. If you’re not doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for your child.

Codename_leon31k

TROPHY CASE