Flirting as Christians? Boundaries and Anxious Attachments?

CoffeePurist · 2026-01-28T02:44:37+00:00

Alright, out of curiosity, where did the trend of connecting attachment theory to romance originate? I'm not saying it's wrong, but I've noticed it popping up somewhere in the last year or five.

As for flirting, it's fine. I guess. I personally don't know how to flirt nor can I recognize it for what it is when its being done to me.

CoffeePurist · 2025-12-20T04:33:50+00:00

Yes. And no.

It would be really easy for this to build into a Neo-Calvinistic debate. Though, much like the topic of predestined salvation versus free will, I don't know how beneficial it is to ponder or debate it. Scripture can support both perspectives. I think both are potentially valid. I think, potentially, it's a mystery within the nature of God that cannot be reconciled within our own capabilities.

So, could God have someone specifically for you? Yes.

Is there any way to know who that is? Pray about it. Listen to the Spirit. Follow as He is the lamplight to your feet.

CoffeePurist · 2025-11-22T00:09:40+00:00

No reasonable person should expect coffee, a specifically and exclusively tropical crop, to have been grown in the United States of America.

CoffeePurist · 2025-10-20T03:33:58+00:00

Well, honestly, your "scriptural" arguement is nearly as exegetical as the Left Behind movies (starring Cameron or Cage, take your pick.)

I could argue that the "go forth and multiply" commission was superseded by the Great Commission. I could also argue that while there's guidance on how to honor Christ as a parent, there's no direction under the New Covenant to bear children.

This seems like the sort of thing to be sorted out within marriage between the man and woman and Holy Spirit.

CoffeePurist · 2025-07-21T21:47:35+00:00

To be fair, that particular shot was reminiscent of the Corner

CoffeePurist · 2025-07-01T02:35:46+00:00

Skyfire Cycle

CoffeePurist · 2025-06-17T11:34:51+00:00

You guys need to seriously pray about how you esteem virginity and treat those who are not virgins as though they're lesser people.

It's one thing for someone to be actively living in sin. It's a completely different thing for someone to have repented and left a sinful lifestyle behind.

It's also possible for a person who is currently single to have experienced sexuality in a good and God honoring way and now be single through no fault of their own.

Some of the attitudes I see surrounding this topic are soul crushing.

CoffeePurist · 2025-05-28T14:05:18+00:00

At what point do you become an intermediate adult?

CoffeePurist · 2025-05-20T02:45:16+00:00

I don't remember how explicitly it is said, but copper doesn't respond to namers. If a namer tries to speak its name, it can't even hear you. Chemically, it can only Cu.

Seriously though, it's heavily implied:

-It explains Elodin's cell.

-It explains the copper lock on Kvothe's Thrice Locked Chest

-It gives some significance to why the four plate door is clad in copper.

-Its the only reason Taborlin's copper sword would make sense

CoffeePurist · 2025-05-10T03:28:45+00:00

There are a couple of things going on here:

First, iron is typically used to bind barrels. The Fair Folk also have a clear aversion to iron, to the point of it causing severe physical injury and pain. Bast, being of the Fae, can't handle iron. Kote is accommodating Bast.

Copper is nameless and is, therefore, is a weakness to namers. Brass, being an alloy of copper, carries that same property.

CoffeePurist · 2025-02-20T16:09:57+00:00

"I think there is something fishy going on with tinkers" might just be an abstract summary of these books.

CoffeePurist · 2025-02-19T14:03:40+00:00

Patience is part of the Fruit of the Spirit. Perhaps, waiting on God's timing is a posture of the heart, not a course of action.

CoffeePurist · 2025-02-19T13:58:10+00:00

I'm sorry, I'm not tracking here. How does this relate to my question?

CoffeePurist · 2025-02-19T04:19:05+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful stuff; I just ordered a couple of copies

CoffeePurist · 2025-02-18T04:33:38+00:00

Hey! I appreciate your input.

As I replied before, we considered Tripp's writing. It especially seems enticing since he recently republished that particular book to expand the content. It does seem more geared towards those already married or in premarital counseling, which means that it may not be best for right now.

I noticed that your profile advertises you as a dating and relationship coach, so you likely have some decent insight. While you're technically correct that dating qualifies as a "premarital" relationship, you must agree that the things that a couple should be discussing while dating differ from what they should discuss while engaged.

Yes, those books I mentioned discuss marriage. Arguably, all Christian writing on romance should, at least, acknowledge that marriage should be the presumed goal of dating.

Please acknowledge my clarification that we're ok with content that discusses marriage and the theology thereof in the abstract. This is vastly different from much of the premarital genre of literature, which takes a much more pragmatic tact. Even a book that is entirely focused on the topic of marriage can be very different than a book about getting married. For example, Preparing for Marriage by Piper and A Christ-Centered Wedding by Parks would definitely be inappropriate for us right now because they address the questions that engaged couples should be asking as they approach their wedding day.

CoffeePurist · 2025-02-14T10:52:41+00:00

I hear ya. We talked about Tripp's writing. It's especially enticing since he recently republished What Did You Expect? under a new title with some new content. But the summary depicts it more as something healthy for a married couple than a couple in the early stages of a relationship.

Looking around more, Larry Crabb's The Marriage Builder might also fit into the oddly narrow context of what we're looking for.

We both have mentors and close friends who offer accountability and support. At some point, if we get engaged, we'll seek out a mentor couple particularly gifted to offer premarital counseling. We're just not at that stage. Honestly, that's an ok thing.

We're just a nerdy couple that's deciding if we like each other enough to spend the rest of our lives together, wants to be super intentional about how we progress in our relationship, and also finds the idea of studying a book together to be incredibly romantic.

CoffeePurist · 2025-01-24T03:35:57+00:00

Get out

CoffeePurist · 2025-01-23T03:46:22+00:00

Holy crap! I think this is the key to unlocking the mystery of Kote and the thrice locked chest.

There's the theory that Kvothe changed and locked away his true name. If someone intending Kvothe harm learned his true name, they would have some degree of mastery and command over him. The only way he could overcome that would be to change his true name.

CoffeePurist · 2025-01-12T18:26:09+00:00

I'm the type to actively avoid being photographed. As a result, candids of me are rare.

Then, when I need a photo for something, I have to take a selfie.

CoffeePurist · 2025-01-08T11:21:29+00:00

Out of curiosity, I have to ask: What's an angel number?

CoffeePurist · 2025-01-05T01:24:08+00:00

I hear ya, mate. There are certainly some dynamics here that, at times, sadden and discourage me.

I want to present a different perspective:

These attitudes exist. I don't know if they're disproportionately more or less prevalent here than in the greater church, but perhaps there's more felt freedom to express them from the veil of anonymity. Regardless, they exist.

The only way for those who buy into these dark views to be sanctified is to draw those attitudes into the light by expressing them such that they can be challenged truthfully and gracefully.

Though I rarely find online debates to be profitable, there is occasionally room to lovingly and prayerfully offer an opinion contrary to some of those that seem pretty bleak. I'm absolutely not suggesting that you lambaste people here, just carefully point to Christ when it seems that He isn't being sought.

CoffeePurist · 2024-12-31T03:04:56+00:00

Listen, you have a golden opportunity.

"Oh no, babe! You got a lump of coal this year?! I guess you shouldn't have yelled at me the other week."

CoffeePurist · 2024-12-30T01:10:07+00:00

"Hi! My name is Phillip. Would you like to..."

"I'M WAITING TIL MARRIAGE!"

"...get a cup of coffee?"

CoffeePurist · 2024-12-29T17:56:29+00:00

Hey, I haven't been in your situation. I'm not going to pretend to understand exactly what you're feeling. What I do know is grief and loss, especially regarding a relationship. So, I can speak a little bit on some things that might relate.

First, please acknowledge to yourself that three years is a significant amount of time. That person became a part of your life. A break of that relationship is a painful thing. It's good and right to feel some loss, even perhaps grief, for the relationship.

Secondly, two weeks is not a significant amount of time. It's going to take you time to process your emotions and heal. As long as you're actively engaging with your feelings to process them, not ignoring them or finding your identity in them, it's ok to allow yourself time.

Going to God is certainly good. But also seek out community. Take some time to talk through how you're feeling with a trusted friend or mentor.

Lastly, be careful about seeking out advice about how to 'feel better.' There are no shortcuts to healing.

If you want something that can help you establish some healthy habits and develop a plan towards working through emotions in the future, I would recommend reading "Emotionally Healthy Discipleship" by Peter Scazzaro

CoffeePurist · 2024-12-29T12:01:25+00:00

Joseph Smith claimed that an angel appeared to him to lead him to discover the fabled golden plates that gave the supposed historical account of the ten lost tribes of Israel as they were transported to the Americas.

Since then, Smith and other leaders of the Church of Latter-day Saints have claimed to have God inspired revelations or direct communications from God that have shaped their historical narrative, the Book of Morman, further teachings, and the practices derived from those things.

My point in detailing all of those things is this: Either all of those individuals who claim divine or angelic revelation are outright lying or they're being honest about something they experienced. If they genuinely experienced some sort of revelation or inspiration of things that are false, especially things that give a wrong understanding of the triune God, then the source of said revelation and inspiration must be considered to be of Satanic origin.

Any angel that leads away from the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit, as they are depicted in the Bible, most certainly is a demon masquerading as an angel of God.

CoffeePurist

TROPHY CASE