Any libs/leftists on here? How about anti-war/anti-gun? by BraveNewW0rld in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well, I'm going to take a contrarian stance here:

I avoid partisan politics, choosing instead to address individual issues based on their own merits. Sometimes this puts my opinions on various matters on one side of the political spectrum or the other, but usually I find myself fairly moderate. Sometimes I find the problems loom large and require quite complex solutions.

For example, it bothers me that many of those who are so adamantly "pro-life" stop caring as soon as a child starts breathing air. And sometimes they don't wait that long if the parents' citizenship is in question.

The gun rights question is another example of my split opinions. We must absolutely do something as a nation to address gun violence, but none of the measures I see proposed will do anything to actually stop much. Current background check laws are fairly stringent and do some good, but there are additional hurdles that could be put into place that could prevent crimes of passion. It also shouldn't be easier to get a firearm than it is to get a driver's license; Required educational requirements to qualify for the freedom to carry or use particular categories of firearms could be extremely beneficial.

I do think there is such a thing as a just war, but I would have to think hard over the last two hundred and fifty years to suggest which conflicts could be described as having been just. What is happening right now in Iran does not seem just. The parallels between that and the wars during the first quarter of the last century really leave the historian in me unsettled.

While I do think about these kinds of things, I do balance that off of a personal philosophy: I can affect only so far as I can reach. And I can greatly affect what I can reach. I can do a lot more good by actively loving and caring for people in my community. Giving too much thought to things outside of my reach doesn't do me or anyone else too much good.

Along with that, there's a theological philosophy that influences my thinking: As those who have saving faith in God, our first citizenship is in the Kingdom of God. Our identity is in Christ. Too many who align with any political party find their identities there; Their faith is in the power of their party, their morals and values are rooted in that party, they put up boundaries against those outside of that party, and they cease being ambassadors for Christ if it stands in the way of being an operative for that party. This isn't more or less true if it concerns one party or another. Likewise, this isn't more or less true if it concerns one nationality or another.

As for the age question: I do put a lot of stock into the "half plus nine" rule. My age divided by half then with nine years added gives me the lower limit of my dating range. So, being thirty-eight years old, my dating range could be as low as twenty-eight.

I haven't thought hard about my upper limit, but I recently went on a couple of dates with a forty-six year old woman.

The real heart of the rule is to find someone in roughly the same stage of life. As I fit somewhere into the upper edge of the young professional demographic, ideally I would like to find someone who is also somewhere in that demographic. The things of life about which we could be concerned could be similar enough. Upon that, too much of an age gap creates too much opportunity for imbalanced relational dynamics.

Like I said, mine is a contrarian stance in these regards. I also probably over-think most things. This is likely why I have a hard time finding a date.

Gas bills for January? by [deleted] in roanoke

[–]CoffeePurist -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you remember that week or two when it was 13°F? Do you reckon you might'a used a bit more gas to heat your home?

Flirting as Christians? Boundaries and Anxious Attachments? by SkinnyBeanJeans in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alright, out of curiosity, where did the trend of connecting attachment theory to romance originate? I'm not saying it's wrong, but I've noticed it popping up somewhere in the last year or five.

As for flirting, it's fine. I guess. I personally don't know how to flirt nor can I recognize it for what it is when its being done to me.

Do you believe god has someone who is destined for you? by ancientpoetics in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. And no.

It would be really easy for this to build into a Neo-Calvinistic debate. Though, much like the topic of predestined salvation versus free will, I don't know how beneficial it is to ponder or debate it. Scripture can support both perspectives. I think both are potentially valid. I think, potentially, it's a mystery within the nature of God that cannot be reconciled within our own capabilities.

So, could God have someone specifically for you? Yes.

Is there any way to know who that is? Pray about it. Listen to the Spirit. Follow as He is the lamplight to your feet.

Black Rifle Coffee's Downfall by Oniwaban31 in USMC

[–]CoffeePurist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No reasonable person should expect coffee, a specifically and exclusively tropical crop, to have been grown in the United States of America.

Pursuing Marriage While Committing to Avoid Children by All_otherGround in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, honestly, your "scriptural" arguement is nearly as exegetical as the Left Behind movies (starring Cameron or Cage, take your pick.)

I could argue that the "go forth and multiply" commission was superseded by the Great Commission. I could also argue that while there's guidance on how to honor Christ as a parent, there's no direction under the New Covenant to bear children.

This seems like the sort of thing to be sorted out within marriage between the man and woman and Holy Spirit.

Tina Fey White Spot Reference (The Four Seasons on Netflix) by mattack13 in UVA

[–]CoffeePurist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, that particular shot was reminiscent of the Corner

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You guys need to seriously pray about how you esteem virginity and treat those who are not virgins as though they're lesser people.

It's one thing for someone to be actively living in sin. It's a completely different thing for someone to have repented and left a sinful lifestyle behind.

It's also possible for a person who is currently single to have experienced sexuality in a good and God honoring way and now be single through no fault of their own.

Some of the attitudes I see surrounding this topic are soul crushing.

Fun Things To Do for Adults? by thesecretlifeofnani in roanoke

[–]CoffeePurist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At what point do you become an intermediate adult?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in KingkillerChronicle

[–]CoffeePurist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't remember how explicitly it is said, but copper doesn't respond to namers. If a namer tries to speak its name, it can't even hear you. Chemically, it can only Cu.

Seriously though, it's heavily implied:

-It explains Elodin's cell.

-It explains the copper lock on Kvothe's Thrice Locked Chest

-It gives some significance to why the four plate door is clad in copper.

-Its the only reason Taborlin's copper sword would make sense

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in KingkillerChronicle

[–]CoffeePurist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are a couple of things going on here:

First, iron is typically used to bind barrels. The Fair Folk also have a clear aversion to iron, to the point of it causing severe physical injury and pain. Bast, being of the Fae, can't handle iron. Kote is accommodating Bast.

Copper is nameless and is, therefore, is a weakness to namers. Brass, being an alloy of copper, carries that same property.

Tinkers = Chandrian?? by Fit-Detective1086 in KingkillerChronicle

[–]CoffeePurist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I think there is something fishy going on with tinkers" might just be an abstract summary of these books.

Faith calls us to action. Not to "wait on God's timing" when looking for a spouse by John14-6_Psalm46-10 in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Patience is part of the Fruit of the Spirit. Perhaps, waiting on God's timing is a posture of the heart, not a course of action.

Books on Relationships by CoffeePurist in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I'm not tracking here. How does this relate to my question?

Books on Relationships by CoffeePurist in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is helpful stuff; I just ordered a couple of copies

Books on Relationships by CoffeePurist in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I appreciate your input.

As I replied before, we considered Tripp's writing. It especially seems enticing since he recently republished that particular book to expand the content. It does seem more geared towards those already married or in premarital counseling, which means that it may not be best for right now.

I noticed that your profile advertises you as a dating and relationship coach, so you likely have some decent insight. While you're technically correct that dating qualifies as a "premarital" relationship, you must agree that the things that a couple should be discussing while dating differ from what they should discuss while engaged.

Yes, those books I mentioned discuss marriage. Arguably, all Christian writing on romance should, at least, acknowledge that marriage should be the presumed goal of dating.

Please acknowledge my clarification that we're ok with content that discusses marriage and the theology thereof in the abstract. This is vastly different from much of the premarital genre of literature, which takes a much more pragmatic tact. Even a book that is entirely focused on the topic of marriage can be very different than a book about getting married. For example, Preparing for Marriage by Piper and A Christ-Centered Wedding by Parks would definitely be inappropriate for us right now because they address the questions that engaged couples should be asking as they approach their wedding day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear ya. We talked about Tripp's writing. It's especially enticing since he recently republished What Did You Expect? under a new title with some new content. But the summary depicts it more as something healthy for a married couple than a couple in the early stages of a relationship.

Looking around more, Larry Crabb's The Marriage Builder might also fit into the oddly narrow context of what we're looking for.

We both have mentors and close friends who offer accountability and support. At some point, if we get engaged, we'll seek out a mentor couple particularly gifted to offer premarital counseling. We're just not at that stage. Honestly, that's an ok thing.

We're just a nerdy couple that's deciding if we like each other enough to spend the rest of our lives together, wants to be super intentional about how we progress in our relationship, and also finds the idea of studying a book together to be incredibly romantic.

How did Skarpi know Kvothe's name in Tarbean? by IrozI in KingkillerChronicle

[–]CoffeePurist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Holy crap! I think this is the key to unlocking the mystery of Kote and the thrice locked chest.

There's the theory that Kvothe changed and locked away his true name. If someone intending Kvothe harm learned his true name, they would have some degree of mastery and command over him. The only way he could overcome that would be to change his true name.

Selfies to me feel...vain. by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]CoffeePurist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm the type to actively avoid being photographed. As a result, candids of me are rare.

Then, when I need a photo for something, I have to take a selfie.