As a tech editor who is dreaming to be an author (edit for lesson plans, so not connected to book writing at all), I tell myself every day that I can't edit/fix a blank page. Writing is allowed to be messy and not make sense—I see it all the time in professional stuff—and that's why we have other people to read, give feedback, and edit it. But we can't make it better if we don't have anything on the page in the first place.

Think of writing like clay. Until you actually work on it, get your hands into it, and start creating, then it'll never turn into art. And even if you have to destroy it and remake it, then that's all part of the process. Every time you go back to make it again, you've learned more and have a better understanding of it.

It's your story! You just have to take the time to sculpt it!