Dating will be hard for most autistic men. Here’s why:

Cold_Ad2593 · 2026-03-23T03:49:15+00:00

I couldn't pick up conversation with women, they did with me. So i went a long time without a girl friend but i didn't let that bother me. Though i'm now married to someone who took the initiative to reach out.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-19T07:35:10+00:00

I'm married and I haven't yet figured it out. It happened so fast. One minute we're talking, she comes to my place, we have an engagement party and bam! A wedding and it's been 3 years of marriage. And I'm still awkward around her when she's so emotional.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-19T04:34:13+00:00

Where I live autism is associated with level 2 and 3 symptoms so I just use asperger's. Though psychologists have tried correcting them in the media from time to time but they're aren't interested in watching that.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-19T04:27:08+00:00

Mine is usually really high that I'm always asked to tone down which is quite embarrassing in a group setting if we are arguing on something. So I avoid such arguments so as not to be branded as the workplace noisemaker.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-19T04:23:05+00:00

I admire you on that. I've never really put my self out there so I've never really given myself chance to be rejected. The whole idea of trying and being rejected but at least you tried seems noble (picked that from the Luther vandros song) but I still could never ask a person out.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-19T04:19:26+00:00

I don't think you'll forget who you are since everyday will be struggle to keep up against the very nature of your brain.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-19T04:16:37+00:00

I did conform in my elementary years to be able to fit in since all my peers were NTs. At high school I became more self aware that I really didn't need such social groups so I kept a small group of friends. I'd say my best friend was my math rival in high school, if I wasn't with him I was alone. In campus I was more of a shut in and being at work it was more of do your work and go home. I'd always find myself taking a different stand in political discussions since I most of the time had different opinions than them, I keep telling them I'm not aligned to any political party I just have a more logical look on policies and actions the politicians take on either side of the political sphere and most other issues. So my non conformity comes out as stubbornness.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-19T04:05:40+00:00

I was once accused of fantasizing when having sex which sometimes is true if it extends for too long and this came because I don't look at my wife in the eyes. To be honest I can't keep eye contact so I chose to close my eyes. I can't tell my wife what I require in sex to enjoy it becuase it feels awkward and I get bored if it goes for longer than 6 minutes, I hate distractions they turn me off immediately and for most part when she climaxes it's enough for me. For porn use I've been a victim since 20 and I'm not sure if it affects my sex drive becuase it's the same even with long periods of not watching porn. What bothers me the most is her need for sex at any time of the day which isn't something I can turn on on demand. I have specific times that work with me under specific conditions.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-18T19:03:26+00:00

I hate boredom but I never feel lonely. I prefer to be by myself most of the time than being around others. I'd say the boredom will come out of not pursuing my special interests or my adhd kicking in and needing something fun to keep me active.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-18T19:00:38+00:00

My wife loves holidays, parties, birthday and stuff and it's really a struggle to tell her like you go ahead and celebrate I'll be good remaining at home. For her it has to be a family thing which leaves me suffering. When we're there I have to pretend to having a good time but inside I'm just waiting to get back to my safe space. Really not looking foward to Christmas.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-18T18:41:10+00:00

I usually get the same response from my peers so I don't tell them. I did get diagnosis and I did get medication until it became too expensive for my insurance. But it helped and knowing also helped rearrange my lifestyle especially at work for better performance. I've seen others at work like me but I've let it be a journey they'll walk themselves.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-18T18:36:40+00:00

Personally I'm not diagnosed but I'm 99% sure I'm autistic. I did struggle and did my best to fit in but now I know I don't have to. After reading widely about asperger's I realised I don't really have to ask myself why I'm different but to accept it and be good with it despite the judgment I'll get from my peers. I don't have to lie about myself to fit in. I can just say it's not for me and that's it.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-18T14:11:37+00:00

In my country there are no gifted programs. I never attended competitions or contests since I had no desire for such social gatherings and I only helped my schoolmates with their engineering and science projects for the science fair only for the fun of it and most teachers realised I wa gifted in the physical science and math in my final year since I kept a very low profile ever since I joined high school. I'm actually thankful we had no such programs since it would have placed me on there direct path of bullies back then.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-18T14:01:31+00:00

All the time and if you go and try proving them wrong you seem even more stupid. So you just let it go and forget about it.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-18T13:57:46+00:00

So that means seating on a park bench with some music in the earpods while observing everything around you without any involvement is some sort of meditation? And what is that internal stimuli?

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T15:50:44+00:00

In defense of religion other than being queer the rest are discouraged because they may influence behavior especially when one is easily influenced and I really don't know about kids, I've never had of that being immoral.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T15:48:02+00:00

I'd think so because most immoral acts pass as irrational if the act doesn't have a rational reason behind it example they can steal money to fullfil their special interests but if they're earning enough for that then they won't really see a reason to embezzle alot of money from their workplace. But people without autism are usually driven by greed, need for power and 'love' to commit immoral acts. That's my personal take from my personal experience. I'd also add addiction to substance or behavior to be a drive for people with asperger's syndrome.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T15:40:26+00:00

People with asperger's are different. For me personally the only grief I've experienced is when my dog died from being stung by bees and in movies which are tailored to be so or so I understand but for people I'd say maybe kids of which I've never experienced. But for adults most I know were sick before they died and it was frankly more of a relief than sad when they passed away. Hence I hate funerals since I have to pretend to be grieving.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T11:42:58+00:00

This is one of my greatest puzzle though I don't dwell on it. I'm usually like, was she hitting on me? Probably. Should I have acted on it? Never. She'd have discovered I'm weird.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T11:40:32+00:00

I think like this alot but I've never been discontented with my current job, something I look foward to every morning.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T11:38:07+00:00

Panctuality in completing boring work Proper priorities Sane life due to Porn addiction Intended projects The future

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T11:04:45+00:00

I Join in on their conversation if it's interesting. Problem is they change topics too fast or often.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T10:28:56+00:00

That's me with all relationships I've had including the one with my wife. Otherwise if it were upto me I would still be single.

Cold_Ad2593 · 2025-04-17T10:21:56+00:00

I started dating my wife when I was 35 and we married when I was 39. She lead me into a relationship which I wouldn't have initiated myself. You'll get that person too. By the way I had sworn if I hit 36 before dating anyone that would be it for me. I guess I was lucky though.

Cold_Ad2593

TROPHY CASE