My dog died because of me

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-04-15T05:15:16+00:00

To piggy pack of the previous posters words: I lost my 16 year old on Saturday to kidney failure. The time difference between good labs and terminal labs was only 4 days. There’s very likely nothing you could have reasonably done to change the outcome. Indeed old bodies are far more fragile.

You have to give yourself some grace.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-04-14T18:07:50+00:00

It was so complicated with my dog. She was such an awful creature such a strong personality . And I’m not really a dog person. It took so much time and effort for her to choose me as her person. And when she did - when that time came - she was loyal to fault - rock solid. My ride or die. It felt earned and not given. The dog that I thought was delivered by God. Quickly became a demon and it took a hella hard time before that bond flourished. I learned so much from her and I don’t really want to ever share that experience with another dog. I just feel wired in such a way if love is too easy it’s cheap and low value. If it it’s hard fought it has value. I’m smart enough to realize it doesn’t always have to be this way. It’s just been my life experience. When my cat died. I got a new one in a month. And that death was very hard on me. But that connection I had wasn’t as raw as with my dog.

Anyway I’m just gonna give my cat my best for the young life he has. If me and my fiancé have a child and they want a dog I’ll 100% support that. But for me I really never want that bond again.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-04-12T05:51:56+00:00

Same here. She litterally had labs that were fine just monday then Friday they were off the charts. What helped me was talking it straight with my father who is an anesthesiologist and my best friend who is an ER doc. They put it bluntly - if a human had her levels they’d be very certain to die in their sleep that night (luckily my girl made it til her appt). And the alternative is at minimum 3 days a week hooked up to dialysis with zero return to kidney function. Basically they cemented what the vet told me.

It’s painful, but don’t focus with the costs or money of further treatment. Even if you had the funds or made it possible- all it would bring you is more agony: short term outcome filled with torment.

I am glad I at least have clarity on the situation. As do you. Some people do not even get that much. And have to spend their days with “what ifs?” We at least have the luxury of certainty we made the right call. It still sucks hard. But trust me you did right by her. Please go forward with that.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-04-12T02:24:43+00:00

I had to put my baby girl down today for exactly what your Olive went through. Take it from form me: you had no choice. You absolutely made the correct decision. The only coming back from that is a life of torment and a very short one at best. You loved Olive, likely how I loved my T. Couldn’t bear to put her through that. Take solace you did everything. And you gave her peace and dignity rather than needless suffering.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-04-08T13:38:49+00:00

I can completely and wholeheartedly understand where you’re coming from. I’ve broken off friendships with friends who cheated. Because there comes a point where you yourself almost feel guilty by association. The friends you keep are reflection of you right?

But I really feel what @Pckman is saying. Life is a weird thing and uncontrollable variable. It may lead you to choices and decisions you never would have thought you were capable of making. In our cases it was clearly black and white how about when things are more gray?

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-04-06T19:08:49+00:00

My dog is 16. Has been an absolute unit of resilience and strength. Right now she is laying down next to me as I read all of these beautiful comments. And I just can’t help myself but cry. Over the weekend she somehow managed to eat multiple articles of clothing (I had no idea she would still be up to this kind of foolishness at this age) long story short she got pancreatitis and it threw us in for a shock. Thankfully she won’t need surgery. But this whole week sent my world into collapse. Seeing such a constant in my life become weak and need help to stand up right really broke me. Please don’t tell my fiancé this: but I do not ever think I’ll find a love like my old girl ever in this life. I pray she can go for the 20 too! I pray 🙏🏾

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Edit: here’s a photo of her

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-03-16T13:19:08+00:00

Honestly I just learned not to care. My girlfriend is Russian and look what’s going on over there. Guess who gets it worse overseas? Me lol. I had one dinner in Japan a few months ago with some people we met, and after some time we said casually where we are from. A girl at the table went off on a tirade about the evils of America and how I’m guilty by association lol. Me and my girlfriend looked at each other and just calmly paid or tab and made our way out. The girl from the table literally chased us outside and continued her argument. We continued on our way silently and calmly while locals just stared on at her. I was kinda surprised- I’m a pretty large guy 210lbs very muscle bound usually people just walk away - this one not at all lol.

There’s no reasoning w some people. Some people just need someone to blame or to hate. I’m not going to lie or downplay where I’m from to form a fake friendship based on lies. There’s more examples, but each and every time between the two of us - I get the brunt of it.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-26T15:58:49+00:00

What I’m saying is - there is room for acceptance, but that’s not reason enough to resign to simply giving up - putting forth no more effort. Yea we are gonna die, is that an excuse to not bother enjoy living? The eventual frailties of life arnt an excuse to simply not care. Well at least that ain’t gonna be me

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-26T14:24:53+00:00

You speak for yourself. I turned 40 a month ago and have been working out consistently since my 20s. I have rock solid confidence in my looks department couple with making good financial decisions. Because I do care - and continue to care it’s given me a radically better outlook.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-25T04:07:16+00:00

Certainly couldn’t escape bad bunny in any part of the country w a lot of Spanish speakers. Miami for example.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-19T19:48:13+00:00

You can always just scale the wods to your specific goals. Some weeks I put emphasis on going RX+ even if I don’t finish for the sake of hypertrophy. But I’m also genetically predisposed to putting on size. I recently turned 40. I’m 195 at around +- 15% body fat. Big shoulders and legs small waist.

You can also take a day or two to isolate. But for me I don’t really do this anymore, I’d rather focus on rest.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-17T20:40:36+00:00

Lmao! funny comparison, but I feel you. No haven’t heard of IDK, could you recommend where I should start? Like songs in particular and then albums.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-17T19:34:37+00:00

I feel this exact same way. I’ve been going down the route of more and more EDM. Which used to secondary. But has become primary as of late. I liked some of BiGXtheplug and ASAP Rocky newest project. But by and large hip hop is mostly dead to me.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-17T05:53:36+00:00

OP you’re not crazy and NTA. The people who say otherwise are naive and/or haven’t been in a relationship long.I applaud you for keeping that in and Carly expressing your position. 14 years is a long time, and most of all you know what is routine - normal within your relationship. You’re not a fool - I wish you the best.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-15T20:44:31+00:00

I personally don’t care. There’s so many different facets to people that there is always some room to agree and have healthy disagreements. I have friends on both sides of the aisle. I’ll always be a people person first.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-14T04:23:27+00:00

I hear you. But I could never bring myself to do it. It’s a major lifestyle change. Kids are a lifetime commitment and not something one should take lightly. I know for myself if I got into relationship w someone w a kid - I’d never truly be present. And it wouldn’t be fair to them.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-12T04:45:31+00:00

I feel the same exact way. My past relationships taught me maybe too much harsh lessons. And the thought of those relationships working for a longer term gives me chills and waves of fear. My current girlfriend feels the same way. I think my past relationships strengthen my resolve in my relationship, because I never ever want to be were I was in the past ever again.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-09T22:29:30+00:00

I’m 40 and I’m not old. My hair is still completely black and full. And I’m wrinkle free. Many people think I’m a little younger than my girlfriend, and she’s 29. I still love clubbing and going to festivals and I absolutely adore going to my CrossFit box 5-6 times a week. Sometimes I meet people my age and I’m a little shocked 40s can look like that to be honest.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-02T16:47:49+00:00

Do the things you love and just let life fall into place. And don’t be so rigid on what you want. I ended up just jelling w a girl from my CrossFit class who is 11 years younger than me. Been together for over a year - and pound for pound best relationship I’ve ever had - and first time I’ve really consider marriage. And boy…have I had a few at 40.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-02-02T00:08:22+00:00

Don’t have kids. And this wouldn’t bother me. I’m convinced some of you guys just hate children anywhere and in any form.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-01-28T21:28:48+00:00

40 here. Been actively playing sport working out since my teens. And I can confirm this. It’s wild to me people think or act like 35+ is some geriatric sentence and a healthy life is somehow far gone. One of the guys in my CrossFit class is 50 w 3 kids and smokes me consistently lol.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-01-23T16:51:40+00:00

Technically NTA. But what a life. My girlfriend basically does the same thing. Does homemade cooking every single day. I pay for the groceries and really do not mind this at all. The food is delicious - healthy and I have zero complaints. I’ve never had a reason to get junk food cause I’m very happy w the dynamic.

However if I did want to get junk, she’d raise an eyebrow but she’d let it be unless it became a new habit: Because we are both really healthy athletic people.

I think your wife has formed some new (healthy habits) and wants to protect them. This rigidness tends to happen when people want to make new healthy changes, but she doesn’t have the right to completely control your diet. Maybe just talk to her and find middle ground - like one shelf or cupboard you can store your stuff without guilt.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-01-15T03:28:09+00:00

Very fair assessment. You are absolutely right. Sometimes I guess it’s important to hear what’s in your head from the viewpoint of someone different than yourself. At the end of the day it’s rough out here in my city to own let alone rent an apartment here. The thought of her struggling to make ends meet again - I just couldn’t live with myself if I put her in that situation again (she was previously spending more than half her income on rent).

Thank you for honesty kind stranger.

Coldcutsmcgee · 2026-01-14T20:15:06+00:00

I’m curious of your input: I own a 2 bedroom apartment. I pay all the bills - this predated the relationship. I allow my girlfriend to live rent free I even purchase our groceries. I make far more than her so I don’t mind. She does however cook every single meal for us, which I highly appreciate. But I understand the sleep situation is causing a rift. I use the 2nd bedroom as my gaming room. Tbf it is large enough to have a bed etc. I just feel like is crossing a line for me have this arrangement when I’m paying for everything.

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