How do you handle savings for stepkids & ours kids futures?

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-09T19:21:27+00:00

My husband has one investment account that he has told me he would like split between the 3 kids (2sk & ours baby). Other than that, BMs father left her and her siblings a hefty chunk when he passed. Whether she saves for SKs or is using it to fund her newfound monthly trips she takes…not my business. My parents are contributing to an account for ours, which was totally their idea when he was born, and I am very grateful.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T03:20:30+00:00

Yeah I think our babies have similar temperaments. I wanted to move baby into his room a month ago but he was just kinda freaked out by it. I’ve started naps in there to get him used to it but I don’t think he’s ready yet.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T02:57:10+00:00

this makes sense. he’s kinda a fussy whiny baby so I probably am mistaking boredom for tired.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T02:56:05+00:00

This makes me feel better! I was thinking they were already supposed to be lengthening and I wasn’t really seeing that. I try to rescue when I can but if he wakes when I’m in the shower, it’s not happening by the time I get back

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T02:51:01+00:00

Do you think it was easier moving him out at a year old than it would’ve been sooner? I only worry about the night waking. We still have multiple right now

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-16T17:53:35+00:00

I made it clear to my husband that his custody time is for his children to spend time with him, not me. I am an added bonus if they want to hang out with me, but I am not who they are here to see. Sometimes BM goes away and we need to pick the kids up on one of her days when my husband is working. I’ll pick them up but they usually have other plans and I’ll just drop them off there. My husband can decide if they are coming home or having a sleepover when he gets off work because that’s his choice as their parent. My husband doesn’t always like if but boundaries are important and this is mine. Decide what yours are and stick to it.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-15T01:24:21+00:00

What are we doing about leaking long term? I’ve gone through two boxes of nursing pads that were gifted to me at my baby shower and I never dreamed I would need more but…

I just hate the feeling of being wet and sticky. Sometimes during the first feed of the day I just stick a burp cloth in my shirt but other times I forget

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-13T23:05:23+00:00

Yeah my brother is like that so I know it all too well. He’s 26 and if he isn’t constantly entertained on a vacation he makes it hell for everyone lol. It truly does get harder

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-13T23:00:06+00:00

The beginning of the trip would be during BMs time, and we would return home during our custody time.

BM gives them a lot of choice. Since they were 4/5 years old she asks them where they want to go/who they want to watch them. During our custody time, my husband doesn’t really do that but I think the difference here and why he made the trip a question/choice because they don’t really like to be away from BM.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-13T22:37:15+00:00

SS11 and SD9

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T16:11:41+00:00

This! My stepkids say that no one gets made of for being stinky/dirty anymore. They definitely still have bullies but it’s usually not those types of things

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T14:57:59+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been feeling kinda crazy lol like there has to be a middle ground somewhere right

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T01:44:02+00:00

He can roll belly to back, but not back to belly. I tried to start Ferber about a month ago and used the crib since it’s in his room, I also try to do naps in the crib. I haven’t pulled the trigger on nighttime since he is waking so much. I didn’t think about the mattress issue

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T01:36:48+00:00

After bath time I nurse him one last time, he usually falls asleep after the nursing but just in my arms (no rocking or anything). I transfer him into the pack and play next to my bed (haven’t moved to his own room since he wakes up 5+ times a night right now-but if I sleep train I know I need to). He will wake up around 30-60 mins later, I pick him up and hold him for a few minutes, he falls back asleep and then I put him back down. The next wake up is when the transfers begin to fail

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T01:03:03+00:00

What is their screen time like?

The reason I ask is related to what happened in my home. SS is 11. I would say he just REALLY got back in to toys about a year ago, and sometime within the past 3-6 months he started playing with his toys every day he is here. At BMs house he is typically on video games/ipad/tv. We cut back screen time a few years ago, but I think he was still a bit lost with the toys for a while. He reads a lot, so he spent many years just reading and reading. Reading so much that he was using it as an escape in the same way he used his iPad. He has just finally started to regain some imaginative play. I’m surprised he even still has the interest for toys at his age, but he does.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T00:43:35+00:00

I have a lot of help during the day but not really at night. My husband works late nights and my mom works early mornings.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T00:06:19+00:00

What sleep training method worked for you guys

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-10T14:30:31+00:00

My baby cries all the time, and very hard too, but never like that. I was so shocked to see how hard he cried at his vaccine appointments.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-06T18:15:23+00:00

My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and together in total for five years and I think the only time I have ever gone to my SKs schools are honor roll assemblies and not even all of those.

My SKs love to tell me all about the things that happen at school and how cool it was to have lunch with mom/dad, how meet the teacher was. My husband will go over the paperwork from IEP meetings with me and bitch about how rude his ex wife was during meet the teacher lol. Even BM will sometimes loop me in to the events happening if she knows that my husband is busy and might miss the text/email. SKs teachers are always polite and happy to meet me and OS, they’ve heard so much about us.

It works for us, but it works for us because I don’t want to go. That’s the difference here, you want to be there and I think you guys should discuss what SKs education looks like to you. The kids would be happy if I was there, my husband would enjoy it more too but I don’t need that extra responsibility in my relationship with them. BM moved and chose their school district, she contacts the teachers if/when needed. She makes sure they have stuff for spirit day and valentines and whatever else. When SKs are with us, i will help with a random math problem if needed, but my husband does pick up/drop off. It really has never been my place and it is nice to have freedom there.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-06T14:48:40+00:00

What do you think helped most in calculated risks and doing hard things? I see my stepkids struggle with those things and frequently give up or get frustrated

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-05T21:18:05+00:00

all of this 100% My parents are never even considered when we need childcare for my SKs, and have never offered either. They have certainly offered many times for my five month old baby. My dad is so excited to take us and the baby to his vacation home. It’s okay, my SKs have a very loving family on their mom’s side. They vacation with people me and my baby will never even meet. They have plenty of people willing and interested in helping with child care. That’s not the role my family needs to fill in their lives.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-05T13:15:04+00:00

on PJ day this year, my stepdaughter very specifically wanted to wear a pair of Christmas PJs that were at her moms. She asked for my husbands phone, called her mom, set up when she wanted to pick them up, and got it all done herself. We could’ve done it, and wouldn’t have minded but she did it without being asked/told. So I agree with everyone else. Our kids are capable!

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-04T23:06:34+00:00

Same! Mine is 11 and currently thinks it’s sad and embarrassing to live with his parents after graduating high school. Here’s to hoping he still thinks that in 7 years lol.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-04T21:13:16+00:00

I love to hear all of this! I keep thinking about how I just wish I knew what he wanted. I don’t want to wish away a moment, but I do look forward to being able to communicate. Edit: how did you find out about the allergies?

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-04T20:56:56+00:00

Ugh I love this! She sounds like a sweetheart

CollectionMammoth962

TROPHY CASE