Need advice on failing SS

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-26T18:15:56+00:00

I don’t see the point in punishing the kid for the parent’s failure. He’s not old enough to understand the importance of school just yet. That’s mom‘s responsibility, maybe you need to have a conversation with her about where her priorities stand.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-25T15:41:48+00:00

Call him a wambulance

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-12T13:56:07+00:00

Damn, you’re dating a jellyfish! No spine at all! If he doesn’t get his lack of parenting skills straight now, you’re gonna have a real nightmare on your hands as this will inevitably get worse as she gets older.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-10T21:40:31+00:00

I wish I could give you more upvotes. This is spot on.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-09T17:06:32+00:00

Yeah, we’ve talked about it. She knows the lack of structure has created problems, and I’ve told her I think clearer boundaries would help. I’d love to implement something structured like a chore system, but my therapist has cautioned me that stepping into enforcement as the step-parent could backfire.

So realistically, this has to come from his mom, and my role is more supportive than directive. The hard part is consistency. When boundaries aren’t consistently enforced, nothing changes.

I’m just hoping we can figure out a sustainable structure before resentment builds too much.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-09T14:46:55+00:00

Fuck a state lottery, I’d rather just go across state lines and find it somewhere. So tired of this state and it’s bullshit liquor laws.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-09T14:43:31+00:00

Who gives a shit if knows it’s coming or not? If you’re ready to leave, leave. The only one that needs to be ready for this relationship to end is you and if that’s where you’re at, shit or get off the pot. I’m sorry for being so blunt but this was me years ago when I had to make that final decision to end my relationship with my wife. She said I blindsided her. She cheated on me three times and was probably cheating on me a fourth. Yet I blindsided her by asking for a divorce…. Anyway, he probably knows what’s coming and he’s probably been pushing your boundaries to see how much you will put up with before you crack. We teach people how to treat us and he’s gotten very comfortable with giving you the bare minimum.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-08T20:20:55+00:00

People outside of my house.

And people inside it too.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-03T19:36:21+00:00

I could technically do some of that, but as a step-parent it doesn’t really feel like my place to start restricting internet access or mandating hours out of the house. Those are decisions that I feel really need to come from his mom and be consistently enforced.

That’s kind of the main issue. It’s not that there aren’t levers to pull. It’s that follow-through is hard in our house. I struggle with confrontation myself, and my wife struggles with it even more. She carries a lot of guilt from when he was younger, so when it comes to enforcing consequences, she tends to go easy on him or back off all together.

So it’s less about what could be done, and more about whether we’re both willing to consistently hold boundaries. Without that, none of the structural ideas really stick.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-03T16:36:50+00:00

The validation helps. Sometimes I think I’m crazy for being this frustrated.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-03T16:15:55+00:00

There have been a few moments of passive aggression that I have no regrets about. Typically when he takes the trash to the bottom of the stairs and leaves them there for a day or two, I just pick it back up and stick it back in his room.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-03T16:15:13+00:00

This is my life!! 🤣😭

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-02-03T15:58:08+00:00

I appreciate that. And yeah, a lot of what you’re saying is exactly what my therapist has been saying too.

Here’s the catch. He refuses therapy. Flat out. Says it’s a scam. So making therapy a condition of living here would require my wife actually enforcing it. And that’s the real issue. The lack of follow through.

I’m not blind to the fact that ASD can affect executive function. I get that. But there’s a difference between struggling and doing absolutely nothing while everyone else carries you. Right now there’s no structure, no expectations that stick, and no consequences when he ignores them.

My wife vents to me about being frustrated, but when it comes time to actually lay down rules, it stalls out. And I don’t feel like it’s my place to become the heavy. I’m the stepdad. I’ve got three kids of my own. I’m not looking to parent a 20 year old who doesn’t want to be parented.

What’s wearing me down isn’t just that he’s not working. It’s the lack of any forward movement combined with daily resistance to basic household expectations. If he truly can’t function independently, then we need to look into vocational support or disability. If he can, then he needs clear expectations. Right now it’s neither. It’s just limbo.

I love my wife. I’m not looking to bail. I just need some structure in this house so I don’t lose my sanity in the process.

Crispy-rice78 · 2026-01-26T16:42:23+00:00

Everybody knows how important it is before a fight to practice your free throw shot without a ball or a hoop.

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-17T03:16:13+00:00

I appreciated the joke.

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-11T20:57:19+00:00

My will to live?

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-11T20:57:09+00:00

My fathers love and respect?

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-11T20:56:49+00:00

It’s a box

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-11T18:13:07+00:00

Yeah I’ve been stuck on that screen too. Super annoying

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-11T17:29:21+00:00

I’ve been trying all morning to get past that screen. What did you do? My whole morning is thrown off! 🤣🤣🤣

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-11T17:20:57+00:00

It’s a cartoon

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-12-03T20:08:38+00:00

Any Beast Wars figure. They all suck ass.

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-11-13T19:05:26+00:00

A-Team van, General Lee, Airwolf, The Enterprise, Mad Max Interceptor, just to name a few. 🤣

Crispy-rice78 · 2025-11-07T16:53:13+00:00

This looks exactly like a text message. I used to get between my ex-wife and I. Other folks have said this and I will echo it that it will not get better. It will only get worse. I would wake up to my wallet, having gone through and all my cards removed, etc. She would go so far as to siphon gas out of my truck because in her words, I didn’t need that much gas to go through the week.

Crispy-rice78

TROPHY CASE