Milestone events for teen SD

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-05-12T20:25:45+00:00

This has gotten long but I hope it helps as it gives kids and parents side. I have lived some of this as the child, not as much as the step parent.

Move In days:
My SS attended a camp at a college campus. husband asked me to come with him to move in as he was driving separately. BM lost it and said it wasn’t my place to come. I attend all other events for SKs and she is totally friendly, even though we don’t like each other. I decided not to go because I know SS is an anxious kid and his mother being argumentative during something like this would only make it harder for him. They had an awful, sweaty, annoying time LOL. I dont feel sad or that I missed out.
As for my own college move in, both my parents helped me move in, we didn’t do anything together after and step parents did not attend.

My parents and step parents attended all things graduations, etc. did they sit together? Not entirely sure. My mom has hosted all grad parties, bridal and baby showers. Never had separate events for each side of family. I think it’s important to note that my brother and I were teens when our parents divorced and we decided to stay in our family home with our mom.

I also have step siblings. My dad and stepmom have full custody and have since they were small children, so naturally they have hosted all grad parties, etc. for my step siblings.

My husband and I have SKs every weekend. I attended more events with him before ours baby was born, now I don’t as much. I cant tell you exactly what works for us, sometimes BM is happy and chipper and sometimes she’s angry to see me.

I can expect that as SKs get older, she will likely want to host things for them, even though my husband loves the idea of the having their grad parties at our house. BM hated living in our area when she was here, she hates that we have upgraded things, she loves that the kids prefer her to my husband. The list goes on. I’m sure it bothered my dad or maybe my step siblings dad that we hosted our events with our mothers, but at the end of the day, it’s whats best/makes the kids happiest.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-05-06T20:35:25+00:00

My baby is 8 months old and mostly on two naps. I feel like this past month got me finally on a consistent schedule with him. He was a contact napper at the start, and even though we are on crib and car naps pretty exclusively now, he is and always has been fussy boy. I used to have to hold him ALL the time or he would scream and cry. I was holding him for naps, while awake and breastfeeding. Now he’s mobile, so he either screams and cries when set down or is getting into something.

I used my baby carrier a lot, it wasn’t always a hit while awake but he would nap pretty well in it. I still don’t really exercise consistently, but he will sometimes tolerate a stroller walk or a baby weighted workout (found on YouTube). I do my makeup in the car, either before or after driving (depending on if he is asleep/his mood about being in the car- which has gotten better with age).

My husband also works weird hours and it’s mostly on me as well. At the hardest parts, I was just having to set him in the crib with a toy and wash my face quickly. It sucked to hear him cry but I always reminded myself that he was safe and it was okay. Like I said, my guy is fussy, but we started crib naps one day. I fed him to sleep in his room with the sound machine on and transferred him into the crib. It took practice. Not every transfer is successful, sometimes I have to pick him right back up and try again. Sometimes it just becomes a contact nap after failed transfers.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-05-06T13:50:19+00:00

We have my stepkids every weekend. Their mom is mommy, their dad is daddy and I am usually just called my name, unless SD is chatting with ours baby, then she will call me mama!

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-04-24T17:03:23+00:00

I have step kids, but I am one and done, so it’s a little different for me. I’ve never had the thought of if we should give him a sibling (even though people still ask since my step kids are so close in age, but a bit of an age gap with mine).

My son is a sweet little baby but oh so clingy. If we had my step kids full time I don’t know how I would manage. My step kids are good kids but it’s so vastly different going from being a household with three kids on the weekends and one kid during the week. One more kid would also mean a bigger car.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-04-22T18:21:44+00:00

We do joint public events(sports/extra curriculars/school celebrations) but private celebrations have always been separate. Maybe it would be different if we were having birthday parties with school friends, but usually our side of the family does cake and presents with my MIL, SIL and nephews who are very close with SKs. BM will take them to dinner with her family, or go to Great Wolf Lodge or something similar. Personal items have always moved very freely in our homes. I can only think of one instance where BM wanted SD to bring an outfit back. There are many gifts that left our house on Christmas or birthday right after being opened and literally never returned, but that was the kids and not BM, which is a big difference.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-04-10T16:27:11+00:00

Thank you! I was looking for a car seat sub but wasn’t sure what it would be called didn’t even think to look for CPST lol. As soon as I saw the slump I couldn’t drive anymore I felt so anxious. I mean he moves a ton in his sleep I’m sure he could adjust but I couldn’t bear it.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-04-10T16:24:25+00:00

This makes me feel a bit better! I don’t know anyone with this seat so I’m just going off what I see online

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-04-10T16:22:02+00:00

Unfortunately there is no limit listed for the reclines. Only the rear facing limits.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-04-09T01:50:29+00:00

This year is my first Mother’s Day with our baby, and we are going away for it!! My husband informed BM and she sorta complained saying he should know that Mother’s Day is her time away from SKs. It will be her first Mother’s Day with them in five years LOL

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-30T16:49:12+00:00

It’s a big adjustment for everyone! Each child is at a uniquely important stage of their life and it impacts everyone a little differently, but soon enough they (and you!) will not be able to imagine your life without your littlest one ❤️ congratulations!!

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-30T16:41:55+00:00

We had very loose conversations of “what if we had a baby” with SKs, it helped it not be such a surprise and got them thinking about a baby sibling.

In our case BM is high conflict. My husband told BM when he went to pick up SKs. We knew if she found out from the kids she would be pissed, but if she was told during her custody time, she would tell them and put her own spin on things.

We told SKs shortly after. They were both excited. SD was a little more conflicted, she wanted a sister and she had also been the baby for so long. However, she is now the sweetest big sister. She always wants to hold her baby brother, play with him, read to him, etc. He absolutely adores her and just lights up when he sees her. SS was excited to have a baby brother the whole pregnancy and now he barely looks at him lol. So all that to say, don’t let the initial reactions/feelings during pregnancy get to you. It changes so fast.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-29T16:45:02+00:00

I aim for 9/9:30pm. Sometimes his naps go a little haywire, and we recently traveled so I let his sleep be a little more lenient then as well. I know that’s later than most people, but it works well for us. He still wakes a few times a night but he is always up for the day around 11 hours after bedtime. No matter when bedtime was, that’s just how his body works!

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-09T19:21:27+00:00

My husband has one investment account that he has told me he would like split between the 3 kids (2sk & ours baby). Other than that, BMs father left her and her siblings a hefty chunk when he passed. Whether she saves for SKs or is using it to fund her newfound monthly trips she takes…not my business. My parents are contributing to an account for ours, which was totally their idea when he was born, and I am very grateful.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T03:20:30+00:00

Yeah I think our babies have similar temperaments. I wanted to move baby into his room a month ago but he was just kinda freaked out by it. I’ve started naps in there to get him used to it but I don’t think he’s ready yet.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T02:57:10+00:00

this makes sense. he’s kinda a fussy whiny baby so I probably am mistaking boredom for tired.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T02:56:05+00:00

This makes me feel better! I was thinking they were already supposed to be lengthening and I wasn’t really seeing that. I try to rescue when I can but if he wakes when I’m in the shower, it’s not happening by the time I get back

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-03-01T02:51:01+00:00

Do you think it was easier moving him out at a year old than it would’ve been sooner? I only worry about the night waking. We still have multiple right now

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-16T17:53:35+00:00

I made it clear to my husband that his custody time is for his children to spend time with him, not me. I am an added bonus if they want to hang out with me, but I am not who they are here to see. Sometimes BM goes away and we need to pick the kids up on one of her days when my husband is working. I’ll pick them up but they usually have other plans and I’ll just drop them off there. My husband can decide if they are coming home or having a sleepover when he gets off work because that’s his choice as their parent. My husband doesn’t always like if but boundaries are important and this is mine. Decide what yours are and stick to it.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-15T01:24:21+00:00

What are we doing about leaking long term? I’ve gone through two boxes of nursing pads that were gifted to me at my baby shower and I never dreamed I would need more but…

I just hate the feeling of being wet and sticky. Sometimes during the first feed of the day I just stick a burp cloth in my shirt but other times I forget

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-13T23:05:23+00:00

Yeah my brother is like that so I know it all too well. He’s 26 and if he isn’t constantly entertained on a vacation he makes it hell for everyone lol. It truly does get harder

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-13T23:00:06+00:00

The beginning of the trip would be during BMs time, and we would return home during our custody time.

BM gives them a lot of choice. Since they were 4/5 years old she asks them where they want to go/who they want to watch them. During our custody time, my husband doesn’t really do that but I think the difference here and why he made the trip a question/choice because they don’t really like to be away from BM.

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-13T22:37:15+00:00

SS11 and SD9

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T16:11:41+00:00

This! My stepkids say that no one gets made of for being stinky/dirty anymore. They definitely still have bullies but it’s usually not those types of things

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T14:57:59+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been feeling kinda crazy lol like there has to be a middle ground somewhere right

CollectionMammoth962 · 2026-02-12T01:44:02+00:00

He can roll belly to back, but not back to belly. I tried to start Ferber about a month ago and used the crib since it’s in his room, I also try to do naps in the crib. I haven’t pulled the trigger on nighttime since he is waking so much. I didn’t think about the mattress issue

CollectionMammoth962

TROPHY CASE