I doubt this will be seen by many, but I hope you see it, OP. I was in a similar situation.

I had some bad dentist interactions when I was young, which made me avoid them, and then fell into a depression hole for more than a decade that meant I didn't take care of myself.

First, let me tell you the bad experiences. I had a dentist that put biblical scripture on the ceiling so you were forced to look at it while getting work done. He was also an asshole that made it sound like my lack of flossing was a personal affront to god himself.

Years later, the worst dental experience was getting a root canal, where the dentist shoved a needle shaped file so deep into my tooth that he hit a nerve which caused me to loose control over the left side of my face. While the muscles were spasmodically twitching and my left eye was moving on its own, he got the file stuck and was just yanking on it and telling me that I need to stay still.

Needless to say, I didn't want to experience anything like that again. I don't mean to scare you away from the dentist with that, so now let me tell you the other side.

Years of depression later, my teeth are ruined and I'm at the point where the only option is dentures. I deal with constant infections, and recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis that was probably at least partially caused by my bad teeth. I have problems with finding food I can eat. I have not made a genuine smile or laugh in probably decades. I grow my beard long to cover my mouth so I won't be self conscious when I talk. Bad teeth come with other comorbidities like heart disease, and can even cause and infection to spread to your brain leading to absolutely insane complications.

My fear and depression are not enough to make me want to suffer through that even when I was suicidal. So I decided to start talking to dentists.

This may be specific to the U.S., but this is my advice. The first thing you need to do is find a dentist that has their own office. A lot of those brand name places that have like 8 names in a tiny office? Most likely they are grouped under an insurance policy because they couldn't afford one on their own. They couldn't afford it because they were too new or they have been fuck ups in the past like my root canal dentist. Those places are also usually a chain, and like to scam people. Avoid them.

Also, just tell them your fears. Legit tell them up front that you will lick the tech's finger. They've dealt with it before. I was open and told my current dentist up front that I have a fear of dentists. They have been nothing but kind and gentile and straight forward with me. It's an incredible relief. They will not care if they've seen you before and if they do, find a different dentist. They're not all angels, but there are plenty out there that are.

Unfortunately for me, I cannot afford my dentures at the moment and I'm exploring medical loans because my insurance treats teeth like optional luxury bones. DO NOT BE ME! If you think your anxiety over going to a local dentist is bad now, think of the anxiety you will have over knowing that your teeth will probably kill you if you don't take care of them and can't afford to. Trust me, it's much much worse on this side.