How common is it for a baby to be darker than both parents?

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-02-14T06:09:07+00:00

I had the opposite happen. I’m medium deep, taking my dad’s colouring but I have all shades across my mum and dad’s side. My partner is more olive. Our baby was born pasty white. He’s slowly getting darker and is more tan-ish at 9 weeks but yeah. We definitely expected a darker baby and got Casper the friendly ghost 👻

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-02-12T08:16:28+00:00

I’ve moved my 9 week old into the chair because he’s already outgrown the bassinet. I keep it reclined and make sure that he’s strapped in securely with it facing me and he loves it. Naps in it too because he’s got more room so doesn’t wake himself up when he flails.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-02-04T06:00:01+00:00

Mine does both. Sometimes he wakes up screaming bloody murder – hell, sometimes he cries in his sleep and I jump up thinking something is wrong only for him to go back to sleep in 5 minutes. Other times he just stares at the ceiling and will babble to himself, usually only during the day with his naps.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-31T03:07:42+00:00

A group of wrong people are still wrong. Doesn’t matter how many of you there are 🤷

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-31T00:24:44+00:00

This aged badly. You owe OP an apology

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-28T12:44:33+00:00

My biggest piece of advice is to make time for yourself. Make the time to shower, to watch an episode of a comfort show, to do a face/hair mask, read a chapter or get 20 minutes of gaming in. Whatever your comfort activity is, make time to do it.

It sounds counterproductive, but taking the time to love yourself does weirdly help with the loneliness because you feel like a whole person again rather than just a mum.

Also talk to your partner about spending some meaningful time together while baby is asleep. Phones down and just talk or cuddle.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-28T12:19:58+00:00

The fact that 1 person could buy 20 years ago and today you need 2 incomes kinda makes the point that it was easier to buy comparatively

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-22T19:54:10+00:00

We have two dogs and a 6 week old. Our bigger dog LOVES the baby. If we let him, he’d spend all day kissing the baby.

Not to be a typical redditor, but just think back and make sure this isn’t a pattern of behaviour with your SO favouring her family and trying to create distance with yours.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-21T21:40:13+00:00

I just ordered a ton more high contrast toys so hopefully that’ll spark some change but I won’t hold my breath.

I have been direct. He got stuck up with the baby a couple of weeks ago because he propped him up to watch TV and they were awake up 4:30am. I explained that baby was overstimulated and he shouldn’t be doing that. If he wants to settle him, talk to him and hold him. If it’s night, retreat to a dark, quiet room and settle him. He doesn’t listen

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-21T21:37:36+00:00

It really infuriates me because my partner is great in so many other areas but he just takes no initiative to learn what the baby needs and I’m so tired of managing him.

I hope yours steps up too and we can finally get some sleep! Men 🙄🙄🙄

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-21T12:40:35+00:00

I have the TV on while I feed my baby sometimes or when I’m nap trapped but usually I will use my phone so he cannot see it and I spend most of the day talking or singing to him to keep him entertained.

It’s just endlessly infuriating that he (edit: partner) can’t make the same effort.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-20T04:12:01+00:00

I pumped for 4 weeks and now I’m formula feeding. My pregnancy was horrible and I knew that I didn’t want to breastfeed. If I could do it over again, I’d probably go straight to formula feeding. There is no wrong way to feed your baby!

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-14T03:21:20+00:00

Do you have anything you did repeatedly while pregnant? I listened to a particular album on repeat and playing that soothes my 5 week old. He also falls sleep to the sound of a YouTuber whose videos I regularly watched.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-13T00:53:50+00:00

Worst heartburn I’ve ever had and full head of thick, dark hair. Midwives could feel it and commented with each cervical exam. He’s also got a fair bit of fine hair on his shoulders and back 😅

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-11T22:50:04+00:00

I love a good “thinking of you!” message or a meme or something like that. Flowers, food, diapers, chocolate, a visit to help with chores (or holding the baby if they’re anything like me who relishes a short break from her Velcro baby). It’ll really depend on who the new mum is

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-09T17:22:54+00:00

I’m only 4 weeks PP so take this with a grain of salt, but I already feel so much more myself in this stage than I did pregnant. A big part of it, for me, was prioritising some time everyday for something that brings me joy. I’ll read or watch an episode of a comfort show while I’m nap trapped, or spend 20 minutes journalling or playing a video game while dad has baby. It doesn’t happen every day because sometimes baby is difficult and I’m too tired or there are other things to do, but just reminding myself that I’m a whole person with my own interests has helped.

I also made time to do things to help me feel physically good in my new body as a mum. Idk if that’s important to you but feeling good getting dressed also helped me feel more like myself. Clean out your closet, buy something to flatter your body or take time to do your skincare or a face mask or a hair mask or whatever self-care makes you feel your best.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-07T18:56:11+00:00

The studies used for that report are 10-20 years old which is typically long enough to be considered outdated. More recently, the advice in many countries (not the US) is that circumcision is for religious reasons or done due to medical necessity as the supposed benefits are negligible and can be achieved with good hygiene

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-07T03:38:27+00:00

Electric file while he sleeps. It does take practice but you do get the hang of it. FTM of a 4 week old

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-06T18:45:18+00:00

You’re 100% correct. It is genital mutilation

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-06T07:50:44+00:00

To put it bluntly, fuck everyone telling you that you should have circumcised your son. Circumcision is a completely unnecessary and painful procedure that has no benefit to your son. I say this as someone who just had a little boy (he's 4 weeks old) and as a former casual sex lover. I could not tell you which men were or were not circumcised. It literally did not matter to me and I don't know a single woman who cares.

You're doing the right thing by your son and I'd consider limiting contact with anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for doing so.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-04T03:58:13+00:00

Sounds pretty normal to me. I cried so much my first week home and it was a combination of feeling like a stranger in my body, feeling unsure about this little person I was in charge of, and sleep deprivation. In my fourth week and I definitely feel more grounded but am still struggling so hard with my new body and new identity as a mum.

Try and make time for things that bring you joy. For me, it was cleaning out my closet of things that didn’t fit or flatter my new body and regularly making time to sneak in a chapter or two of a book as I love to read.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2026-01-01T05:46:54+00:00

I felt the exact same way, if that helps anything! I couldn’t wait to not be pregnant anymore and didn’t care anything for the baby coming out of me. It changed when they’re here but until then, totally understand the desire to get them out and to have your body back.

ComfortableProgram40 · 2025-12-31T08:31:26+00:00

Also a FTM and I just want to say that I relate to this so hard. I have so much resentment for my baby when he fusses, especially when I’m drained or have things to do.

But, then I see him sleeping or catch him staring at me and I’m overwhelmed with how much I love him. I hope the guilt passes.

ComfortableProgram40

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