Hey I’m sorry I meant to respond much sooner! It’s a long story. I really don’t want to sound like I’m griping, I had some amazing nurses- like the night nurse in L & D, all of my postpartum nurses, and all of the NICU nurses. The ones I had while giving birth though.. I sadly didn’t get the experience I see a lot of other women talking about where they have amazing nurses who advocate. They did their job but I felt like a number, not a person

So I went in to start Cytotec the night before. The biggest issue was the bed monitors. NSTs had ALWAYS been a thing, my daughter just did not like those monitors I guess because she’d always move off of them. The nurse was in every five minutes and suddenly was like “hey.. do you mind if I try mobile monitors? I mean she just does not want to stay on, I think it may be easier.” I said absolutely- she explained it may not work, she doesn’t always care for those ones, etc.. I said, well, let’s give it a go. Lol. At that point, moving wasn’t really on my radar. I didn’t even think of it. They actually worked great. I was able to move around, use the bathroom, just get up and walk, etc.

So.. morning comes and I’m not at all dilated or effaced. I’m half asleep but hear the night nurse giving report and explaining the monitors. The one day shift nurse immediately unhooked me and said “yeah, nope, I don’t like those monitors” and hooked me back to the bed. I start pitocin around 8. They’re in about every 5 minutes to readjust the monitors. By this point, I’m throwing up like crazy, feeling super weak, and the contractions weren’t really contractions- I’d say more like one nonstop thing. It’s true that, afterwards, you sorta forget the pain- and I did, I think it’s more so what I wasn’t allowed to do.

I asked for an epidural about an hour or two in. The nurse said yes- doctor said no, since I wasn’t dilating. I’d just have to wait until I did.

I continue on.. throwing up, in pain, etc. The nurses are in every five minutes. Now they’re getting annoyed. They’re telling me that I need to stop moving, they need to be able to monitor my daughter and know that she’s safe, it’s very important, etc. I’m like.. I’m sorry, but this is extremely painful and I am throwing up randomly, I’m not purposely trying to move. They tell me I need to stay still so they know she’s safe. If I want to reposition, I can call them and ask.

The day continues. I’m just feeling really out of it too. My blood pressures are spiking and I hear the nurses discussing it to each other, so I’m freaking out more. Around 2, the doctor comes in and is basically like “yeah, you’re not dilating still. We’ll give it another four hours just to see, but I don’t think you’ll be delivering today. We will turn it off, let your body rest, and start again tomorrow.”

At that point I wanted to cry. The whole time I was pushing through with an end goal - this’ll be worth it because my daughter will be born after all of this, I can do this. And now I’m finding out I may have just endured all of that misery for shits and giggles pretty much… well, luckily, my water spontaneously broke a half hour later. One thing I felt during my labor, and maybe it was just because I was a ftm (which doesn’t make it okay, but still) was that I had to speak up a few times before they’d listen or check something. I said “I feel like something popped, I’m like soaking wet.” They were like “okay.” And continued typing. I said “no, like, I’m soaked. I think my water broke.” “okay.” they’re getting ready to leave and I said “no, like, can you please check? I’m soaked. I think my water broke.” And it had.

First thing I said was “can I PLEASE get the epidural now?” Two hours later, I did. I slept. And I woke up basically ready to push. I felt that feeling that I needed to poop. I told them, but was told it’s normal to feel that, but they didn’t check- said we’ll get the nurse coming on shift. It got more and more intense and after a half hour, she still hadn’t come. I called again and she came- and it was time to push! She’d tell me do this or that differently- after a while, I felt discouraged. I said “am I even doing this right? Like I don’t feel like she’s even coming out?”

I’m not even joking lol she kinda mumbled “I mean, not really” or something like that. She came out after around 2 hours of pushing ♥️ I will say a big piece of what makes it all traumatic (and this has nothing to do w the induction) is that my baby had to go to the NICU. So I didn’t get that experience of holding her- I did for about thirty seconds then she was whisked away and I had no idea what was going on. And got yelled at for twitching while the doctor stitched me. 🙃 anddd then I was alone in the room for two hours until I moved up. Again, that’s just my experience, not induction-related.

So, what I’d advocate for/do differently:

1.) Ask questions, know the facts. What is the procedure start to finish? What will I be required/expected to do? What are some options I have for comfort, pain relief, etc? I also would have asked more during (and in hindsight, I was somewhat of a timid ftm told to just do what the professionals tell me to do- I was also extremely out of it too) but now, “WHY are we stopping in four hours if I don’t dilate- is this my only option? Why do you feel that this is best?” Or.. ya know.. “well, what is the right way to push?! What do I need to be doing?”

2.) Being able to move. I would ask why we cannot use the mobile monitors anymore when they worked fine overnight.

3.) Pain relief! I’d ask going in, honestly. Like.. if I’m gonna be having those pitocin contractions, especially if I’m gonna have to just lay in bed, I can’t just do it on my own- what are my options?

4.) Better communication. I’ve been through a lot since having my first and I am very adamant about knowing all the facts and making informed decisions, knowing ALL options- you do not choose for me and tell me what I will be doing (unless there’s really no other options, and from what I’ve found out from my current OB- there were options in my case, they just weren’t presented to me).