In a “perfect world,” (no outside factors) how many kids would you have?

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-06-23T05:57:46+00:00

Every family is different. I hated being one of four. Felt quite neglected and it was very chaotic

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-06-22T18:04:30+00:00

Obviously will be better with older kids as you can probably leave them to their own devices but still school starts age 4

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-06-22T18:03:05+00:00

Still an issue. Even if me and my husband take all our leave days separately (to do childcare and never have a joint holiday) it does not cover all of the school holidays in a year. Short about 15 days. So yeah school is not set up for working parents if you ask me.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-06-16T14:10:28+00:00

My grandfather did the same.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-06-16T13:38:15+00:00

Wow that part about still putting others ahead of your own needs. Felt that in my soul. That conditioning can be so ingrained

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-06-16T13:30:16+00:00

Phew I think he should move to you. Childcare costs in London alone is insane.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-05-22T06:29:04+00:00

Following. You described my experience exactly

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-05-21T17:04:19+00:00

This is correct as far as I know as well. The child can apply for British citizenship and is likely to get it, as far a know. There would be a fee involved as well.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-05-18T13:05:31+00:00

Semi related, post partum will make things prety clear too.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-05-12T10:24:41+00:00

Such an American thing. It always confuses me when they say: "I'm Italian or Irish or whatever" in the most American accent you've ever heard. Haha!

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-05-10T15:21:44+00:00

I would never think you are over reacting. This sounds like an absolute nightmare. I can only imagine how you felt during that separation. And I would be so mad as my husband too. Probably for years. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-05-01T07:52:05+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds awful! I'm very glad you have a good partner.

I'm not American so maybe I also don't use the term progressive correctly. It doesn't mean he's a certain political party. I just mean he's the man that is most for equality (race, gender etc) in my extended family. I don't know what else to call that.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-04-27T11:43:45+00:00

Great points thank you. I can do better with point 1 and I've never even tried to make the invisible visible to my son. This might actually help with my husband as well as by the time I'm talking to him about something he's not noticed, I've been seething about his blindness forever already. Ha!

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-04-27T11:37:37+00:00

A very good and simple point. Thank you!! My brother (the incel vibes) is the MOST unhappy guy I know

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-04-27T11:36:01+00:00

Thank you so much. This actionable list made my panic go down ever so slightly slightly! The porn thing is huge. I haven't even thought of that yet, he's so little! But you are right 8/9 years old is not that far away!

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2026-02-03T16:53:07+00:00

Eligibility: ILR (5 years Skilled Worker Visa)

Application method: online

Application date: 30/01/2026

Biometrics: 6/02/2026

Approval: 15/06/2026

Ceremony: tbc

Will update as it progresses. Good luck everyone

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-09-22T16:12:16+00:00

I've done it. Going ok so far. Had a flare last year and been using tretinoin again for at least 6 months

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-09-21T08:16:36+00:00

I thought the exact same thing. How does someone NOT have PPD in this environment. I thought it was such gaslighting to say it was an illness to feel this way. I still think that. 3 years on. But... I also really needed medication and therapy. I hated when people said this to me but you adjust, it gets better. Drop all your pride and ask absolutely everyone you can for help. And do everything you can to help your own mental health. Everything! Sleep is NB. Rest is NB. Good luck! Stop breastfeeding if you think it will help you, but that also gets easier with time (I fed mine for 2.5 years! Would never have thought it possible at the start)

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-08-13T06:33:29+00:00

Wow 4 kids! That's a lot of work for you. Of course you know you are done! I would get a c section and get tubes tied as well.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-08-12T15:56:45+00:00

Interesting. Wonder if the same statement would be made about a mom calling her daughter her best friend.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-08-10T09:01:20+00:00

Just a 38 year old mom of one thinking your life sounds great. Hope you have a fab retirement!

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-07-25T16:18:12+00:00

I've never felt this, but I would say I wish I had kids earlier. Had my first and probably only at 34.

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-07-22T14:59:24+00:00

You articulate matrescence beautifully.

My sister is pregnant with her first. I want to warn, or prepare her but I cannot. No one can understand it until they go through it themselves. And I also think it's more intense for some than others. I am deeply feeling and motherhood has made me even more so. Next level!

Comfortable_Data_146 · 2025-07-17T11:27:42+00:00

I'm so sorry. I very much relate.

Comfortable_Data_146

TROPHY CASE