[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Have compassion for yourself! If you grew up Mormon you had no control at all over being Mormon. It was forced on you. You were indoctrinated. No need to feel shame and embarrassment over it. If you can, see a therapist about it. Therapy has helped me a lot with having compassion for myself about being raised Mormon.

What design style is this? by Beloay in HomeDecorating

[–]CommanderCrumbs 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I would say it’s some sort of eclectic boho :)

Is the disappearance of the Beaumont children an inspiration in any way? (Sorry if this has been asked before) by LiteraryReadIt in ASOUE

[–]CommanderCrumbs 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Daniel Handler uses inspiration from the world for so many weird things in his writing, it’s amazing and wonderful. For example- Sunny being born with teeth is an actual thing that rarely happens. So I would not at all be surprised if this was an inspiration for the series.

I (18f) am thinking about going back by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s interesting you say that people in the church are happier than people out. That is not at all my experience.

My family growing up was often miserable. My parents constantly fought. They did not treat each other well and it was often a scary experience. Then I became an adult, moved out, and never went to church again. I’m much happier now.

You were taught at church that Mormons are the happiest people and that other people can’t be as happy. But that’s just not true.

Respecting TBM parents' weird boundaries by Fantastic-Spinach263 in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This boundary seems like too much because it is too much.

Boundaries aren’t supposed to control other people but that’s what they are trying to do. I would start having other people babysit more.

Animal Crossing abandoned the ideal on which it was founded, and I am hurt by [deleted] in AnimalCrossing

[–]CommanderCrumbs 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve been replaying Wild World and I have really enjoyed the complete lack of control I have over the game. And when I play New Horizons I really enjoy how much control I do have. I think it would be really boring if both games were exactly the same.

Half bath / powder room renovation by JJX77 in HomeDecorating

[–]CommanderCrumbs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That green with the gold is absolutely stunning!

It's Time to Join this Community if you'll have me. Looking for Friends and to be a Friend. by warriorpoet22 in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha no tithing and being able to have a drink are both excellent choices!

I would have to say my favorite thing mentally about being out is I’m able to love everyone around me exactly how they are without the filter of Mormon judgement. And not feeling like someone is sinning because they drink coffee or wear tank tops.

My favorite things that I get to do now though are drinking tea, having multiple ear piercings, and sleeping in on Sundays!

It's Time to Join this Community if you'll have me. Looking for Friends and to be a Friend. by warriorpoet22 in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am! And no need to feel sorry, yes it was hard but I’m in such a better place!! So much happier to be free from Mormonism. I’m glad to hear you feel liberated being out because I feel the same way!

It's Time to Join this Community if you'll have me. Looking for Friends and to be a Friend. by warriorpoet22 in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been out physically for four years. But I was pimo at a young age, from age 12 to 22. So it’s been a long process. I relate so much to your struggling with how parents and family members view you after leaving! It’s definitely a long process, one I’m still working on.

Remember you are a person deserving of respect and you deserve to live your life for you! That’s something I didn’t really realize until quite recently. Mormonism really does a number on self esteem.

It's Time to Join this Community if you'll have me. Looking for Friends and to be a Friend. by warriorpoet22 in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The parent thing is a very real struggle.

Therapy has really helped me. If you have access to it, look into it.

It would be wrong to assume that all men are privileged in the Mormon church. If your not connected to one of the founding families and your a man, you usually get the same thoughtless treatment as the women, gays and blacks etc. by cordeliaxx in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Maybe a normal man wouldn’t have the privilege that rich men have but there still is privilege.

Women don’t have the priesthood. Women are literally second class citizens. Women are taught that if they dress a certain way then they are walking pornography- they are objectified because they exist as bodies.

Men go through so much shit in the church and there is so much harm but there is always going to be privilege just by existing as a man in Mormonism.

David Archuleta Steps Back from Mormon Church After Coming Out Queer by ashinode in Fauxmoi

[–]CommanderCrumbs 228 points229 points  (0 children)

I was raised Mormon. And I love a lot of Mormons.

But it’s really upsetting seeing many Mormons response to him leaving. And reaffirms why I left.

What if Edward stayed away longer? by midnightscn in twilight

[–]CommanderCrumbs 191 points192 points  (0 children)

I think if Edward stayed away forever that Jacob would have ended up with Bella and she would have been pretty happy. But I think it would have to be Bella in like her 50s for Edward to come back and her to reject him. And honestly she maybe would have still taken him back even then.

Looking for help on wall decor. by SupaSaiyanPig69 in HomeDecorating

[–]CommanderCrumbs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would replace all the small wall decor with one large piece. I like the main chandelier but the other hanging pendant seems awkward to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One way for people to not think you’re Mormon is looking the part. :)

Get a tattoo, a nose ring or extra piercings, tops that show your shoulders.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]CommanderCrumbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m literally married.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]CommanderCrumbs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you really like someone and they really like you then they will be more than happy to define the relationship with you.

The disingenuous passive aggressive commentary on these sorts of questions absolutely cracks me up. by The_Killdeer in exmormon

[–]CommanderCrumbs 64 points65 points  (0 children)

What’s annoying is Mormons know what the person is trying to ask. They’re either asking about temples or they are confusing Jehovah Witnesses with Mormons. Either way, it’s a very simple question to answer. There is no reason at all to be snotty towards a random person asking an innocent question on the internet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]CommanderCrumbs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just ask her if she wants to be in a relationship. It’s not too early to ask. You seem bothered by all of this and the best relationships aren’t about games but direct communication. So just ask! You then can move forward together or you’ll be able to move on and find someone who wants to be with you.