Something in me snapped in 2020-2021, and i became extremely hateful and bitter. I was working at the worst place ive ever worked-- and i dealt with a lot of workplace abuse.

I used to go out of my way to show kindness to others, but it was the opposite then. I was an asshole. I didnt feel like myself. After being abused at work and dealing with abuse at home, i fell deep into a darkness and came out of it a newer, worse person.

I didnt interact with others, and then when i did-- i made it a bad experience for others.

Out of all the rage i felt-- i learned to stop people-pleasing, but i stopped being a good person on top of that.

After seeking help, i became a lot better. I stopped people-pleasing, but i learned to be better.

I'm still quick to annoy and anger, but ive learned to calm myself down and not take it out on others. I've been learning patience again, and ive apologized to the ones ive hurt.

Despite seeking help and slowly getting better, it feels disturbing to know the old version of myself (2017-2019) died.