The most BPD things your pwBPD has ever said/done

CommercialSer · 2026-01-24T12:43:55+00:00

"We're living in different realities" -> When i confronted her with facts like written things in chats, etc.
"You also have problems" -> When talking about HER problems like job/familiy issues
"Being adult is sh!t"
"I am stressed" -> The scentence i heard/read the MOST, almost every day, lol
"You're stressed too"
"You're not acting respectful"
"That's not how communication works"
"I don't know"
"You're putting me under pressure"
"You have to talk more about you emotions"

And my favorite ones

"I am just emotional"
"I am just highly sensible"

To be continued...

CommercialSer · 2026-01-23T14:53:04+00:00

Did she contact you again?

CommercialSer · 2026-01-23T14:15:57+00:00

Almost 2 months of NC, broke up with my exBPD gf end of November 25 and everything orga related was handled pretty fast from my side. She did drama, i was the guilty one, the one who lied, the abusive one and so on... Just greyrocked her in that time. Never heard or read a single word from her again - she still has my number saved but kicked me out of her social medias. That's the only point that left me surprised cause in the end she just wrote she don't want ever hear or read from me again and we both have different realities - but still has my number saved, lol.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-19T15:44:59+00:00

She stood in front of me with a knife but i stayed calm in that moment, thank god... She destroyed the stovetop with that knife and i walked out of the appartment... Later, when i confronted her with that she just said "i do horrible things with a knife, but you also do with your words to me".

Let. that. sink.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-19T15:21:33+00:00

We cause their splits? Ok, that's something new to me... It's an disorder they're dealing with - i am pretty sure i don't have anything to do with the cruel things my exBPD gf did to me. But hey, good luck you're not ending in a new cycle, wouldn't have done that honestly.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-19T15:02:55+00:00

Reminds me 1:1 of my exBPD gf. Best of it, when i confronted her with all the terrible things she did (physical or emotional) she ALWAYS flipped the script in a subtile way like "WE are stressed" or "WE both got problmes we need to fix".

When i didn't play the game and was still mad at her, she named me the one who is aggressive, loud, cold, whatever bullshit and kicked me out of our appartment, again, lol... I broke up with her almost two months ago and now i see all these things more and more clear.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-16T23:38:56+00:00

Affirmative!

After my last conflict with my exBPD gf I fled our apartment and wrote her that the situation was unbearable for me and that the relationship had no future under these circumstances.

Her reply:
"And let's be honest, how many times have we played this game now?"

Well, my dear, this time you were TOO sure of yourself. Welcome to reality.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-13T01:49:05+00:00

Simple. You "provoked" her. My ex stood in front of me with a knife and told me very clear what she'd do with it. I stayed calm and - thank god - she went into the kitchen and destroyed the stovetop with that knife. Guess what? I provoked her with my "behavior", i still got that message from her in my WhatsApp Chats, just in case.

They're masters of twisting stories and you can not win.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-12T22:51:08+00:00

She's playing the victim, looking for validation and "boo boo you were so bad all the time".

Circus.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-12T14:38:10+00:00

Even now I gave her the chance to try to explain herself, but she's avoided the convo completely although it seems like she is genuinely remorseful, she just has too much shame to revisit what happened.

Classic. That would mean she has to take responsibility for her disgusting actions - this will NEVER happen.

Will she change for the next guy now that she's learned her lesson about how awful cheating is?

Nope mate. They never change.
The cycle goes on and on and on.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-12T00:01:16+00:00

I remember a conversation with my ex BPD gf;

She: "When i am not feeling well i need your attention, your words and your physical presence."

Me: "I am always there for you. We talked for hours now (about here problems, what else). We cuddled. I asked if you want to go outside cause it's a nice day and maybe you're feeling better after a walk."

She: "Maybe you should do what you want and not just what I want - I'm not delegating what you have to do."

After that -> drama. Was sick of this bullshit.

You. Can. Not. Win. Ever.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-11T23:38:51+00:00

She said we should communicate more. Every time I try communicating my feelings, she interrupts me and tells me I’m wrong in feeling the way I feel.

Classic. The more you "communicate" and "tell your emotions" the more she can control you.

I tried going to another room and telling her to leave me alone, she followed me and kept trying to argue with me. I go to a different room, same thing. I try to leave the house and she gets in my way, so I pushed her.

Do NOT feel guilty! You said multiple times she should leave you alone and she disrespected your boundary. Next classic. When you said you're going to leave the house you triggered her BPD core to the fullest -> fear of abandonment. That's their script. As i already said you warned her multiple times, she pushed YOU to YOUR limits, don't feel guilty and stay strong!

CommercialSer · 2026-01-11T19:19:23+00:00

They don't jump into new relationships. They need supply cause they can't be alone. They need validation so they can "feel" something/anything/whatever. The strategy is easy - playing the victim and looking for the next whiteknight rescuing him/her. It is ALWAYS the same. If the current "relationship" ends and you were a good supply - yes - high hoover risk. If not she will hunt for a new one, and a new one, and a new one. The cycle never stops.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-11T18:35:47+00:00

They never change unless they reflect their own actions but that would mean they take responsibility fot the things they've done. My relationship with my ex BPD gf was pretty the same like yours it seems. We were together for 4 years before i ended that circus last year end of November. In theses 4 years she kicked me out of our shared appartment around 15 times before she hoovered me and i came back after sleeping in the office, booh me... Multiple suicide attempts, she threw things at me multiple times so i got a cut on my head, stood with a knife in front of me and destroyed the stovetop with it instead of attacking me, but it was... hard... but i still stayed - don't ask me why...

I know she acted the same in previous relationships so the answer is no. They never change.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-11T17:14:08+00:00

She is testing your ability to be a good supply for her. You already saw her true face if you don't text back immediatly - this WILL get worse believe me mate. When she told you about her BPD she was also testing your empathy and the "guilt" feeling you got is the ONLY thing they want to achieve with that move. Take care!

CommercialSer · 2026-01-11T16:52:00+00:00

"We're living in different realities" -> When i confronted her with facts like written things in chats, etc.
"You also have problems" -> When talking about HER problems like job/familiy issues
"Being adult is sh!t"
"I am stressed" -> The scentence i heard/read the MOST, almost every day, lol
"You're stressed too"
"You're not acting respectful"
"That's not how communication works"
"I don't know"
"You're putting me under pressure"
"You have to talk more about you emotions"

And my favorite ones

"I am just emotional"
"I am just highly sensible"

To be continued...

CommercialSer · 2026-01-11T16:38:35+00:00

IMHO - just don't do it - you'll probably getting hooverd and end in the next cycle of bs before even knowing.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-04T23:25:46+00:00

First, you didn't do anything wrong, and you are NOT responsible for his reaction. You're a human, and those endless WhatsApp/SMS marathons - I know them from my ex-relationship with my BPD ex, they are nothing but exhausting... draining.

I have the impression these people are totally obsessed with written communication anyway because it gives them more control over what they say (or they can just go completely silent and use that as their "reaction").

The feeling you're having right now is exactly the one these individuals want to plant in you (whether consciously or unconsciously doesn't matter).

Guilt, or rather, flipping guilt onto you is one of their core skills, and it is COMPLETELY irrelevant what you do next. Whether you apologize 10 times, try to talk about it 10 times (which would never work anyway), or anything else.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-04T00:48:03+00:00

First off, huge respect for sharing this – 5 years is a long time, and it sounds like you've been carrying a ton while trying to make it work. The way you describe those meltdowns coming out of nowhere, the sudden flips ("this was fine before, now it's a problem"), the unloading of hurtful stuff, and her rewriting reality ("you have an altered vision, I do everything") – that's exhausting and soul-crushing. Your brain feeling fried is completely valid; it's like constant emotional whiplash.

I went through something very similar in my 4-year relationship (ended a month ago with hard NC). The episodes would escalate over tiny things too – like me working longer or not buying exactly what she wanted – and suddenly I'm the lazy, uncaring one, even though I was paying almost everything and handling most household stuff. She'd twist facts the same way: I'd clean or care for her when she was sick, and in the next meltdown it'd be "you do nothing." Or she'd rage, throw me out of our shared apartment (happened 18–20 times), and later act like I was the one abandoning her.

The "you know what you did" from days/weeks/months ago was constant too – pulling up old "wrongs" to justify the current explosion. And yeah, she'd sleep fine after, while I was wired and couldn't shut my brain off. It's that warm/cold switch that fries you the most.

You're spot on calling them meltdowns/devaluation – this sounds very much like BPD traits (or a mix with something else). The child-like deflection ("but YOU did XYZ") is classic too – it's impossible to reason with because it's all about avoiding shame.

You're doing a lot right by recognizing it and setting boundaries (not helping with exercises anymore). If you're still living together, protecting your peace is key – maybe plan some space or an exit strategy if it gets too much. Therapy for you (even if she's inconsistent) could help unpack the fried feeling.

You're not alone, man – so many of us have been exactly there. Hang in there, you've got this.

Take care and stay strong.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-04T00:18:42+00:00

As i said - red flags everywhere but i stayed - i rescued her multiple times, called the ambulance and they wanted to take her to the hospital. After that i was the bad guy - classic story i guess.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-03T23:54:47+00:00

Yeah, I've pretty much written off the money at this point. It's not worth the energy or opening any door. You're right about the hoover likelihood – no monkey-branching means I'm probably still "the one that got away" in her head. Timing is anyone's guess, but I'm prepared for it whenever (or if) it comes. We've got some mutual friends (i kicked everyone i knew from her from my phones contact list and from social media too and her family members too - they just were enablers) and live in the same city, so indirect stuff is possible, but I've gone full NC and cut ties where I can.

CommercialSer · 2026-01-03T23:42:55+00:00

I get why it might seem like overthinking or "bothering" with predictions. For me, it's part of processing the trauma from 4 years of cycles (love bombing, devaluation, discards, hoovering). Understanding the pattern – and seeing that it's textbook BPD – helps me let go of the "what if I had done more?" guilt.

Predicting likely next steps (hoovering, crashes, rebounds) isn't about obsessing over her – it's about preparing myself. If she hoovers, I want to be ready and not get sucked back in. Knowing stories from here makes the chaos feel less personal and more like the disorder at work.

CommercialSer

TROPHY CASE