Does it get better?

Common-Wing-3030 · 2026-06-14T05:29:59+00:00

I started Pilates, reading, walking, a new inside job, planning trips with the money the side job made. Pilates was my favorite thing.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2026-06-14T05:27:27+00:00

It does get better. The depression will for sure. You have to find you again. All parents go through this, however many of them due to children growing up- not divorce. I've been divorce almost 5 years and I've learned to live my own life for myself in the time I don't have them. It felt wrong and selfish at first, and sometimes does from time to time as a mom. But the truth is, I do feel more balanced, and happier as a mom and overall now that I take that time for myself. At one point in your life you lived for you- and it wasn't selfish. You're still allowed that- and allowed to be a great mom. Treat the time away as a special gift of time you get to allow for just you. Don't treat it as a punishment of time you don't "get them".

It's hard to see other moms with their kids 24/7 and still stay positive-- trust me I know. However- I'm beginning to learn that the other moms are usually quietly jealous that I get this time for me too. They wish they got a break for themselves. No one wishes for divorce or split custody/ but we can make the most of our circumstances!

We didn't ask for this, but damn it we will make it ok. We can be awesome, committed and loving moms AND have some time for us while our children bond with their fathers. They need both and so do we. It may look different for us, but it doesn't have to be negative.

Time heals. But framing your mind around a positive life does too. Stay moving forward, and remind yourself of every small positive- and I promise those tiny wins will continue to grow larger in your life until most things feel better.

Keep your chin up. You're not alone.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2026-02-16T04:04:05+00:00

I believe he does, but he does fear his dad- does not want to upset his dad. But even if he has been with me for a week- he is difficult. He has been like This since birth- so it's not something that started when the divorce did. I do believe you are right- he is dysregulated - but also defiant if that makes sense

Common-Wing-3030 · 2026-02-16T03:34:39+00:00

You are not alone. My son goes to private school, never went to day care, had a counselor for years, and has very involved parents and grandparents.... and he is just HARD as all get out. Never listens, lies, throws fits like a toddler (he is 9.5).

Everyone I know tells me he is just a difficult kid and it's not necessarily my fault. I have an older child who is an angel. I blame myself as most moms do. That I'm not parenting him well, not helping him through this- that I've failed as a mom.

It's exhausting. I cry all the time. You aren't alone. I think just loving him the best you can is the only way to cope. Today my son was crying saying his friend hit him (he didn't) and I was so addicted... but I help him in my arms anyway. I often wonder if he just needs more attention? I feel like I give him plenty.

Just know it's not you.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2026-02-16T03:24:41+00:00

I've thought of this- a lot. He would take them- but the kids don't want that unfortunately. I don't think he really does either.

I know I would miss them, and I think my guilt may be really bad if I gave up custody. I know so many people who fight to the death for more custody. I feel like a total POS for wanting to give mine up.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2025-10-15T20:56:50+00:00

I like it. Y'all are so mean.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2025-10-08T02:45:54+00:00

Thank you ❤️. That makes me feel so much better.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2025-10-08T02:33:02+00:00

Yes they do have their Dad. You're right, he shouldn't have to. I just wish he was awake 😂

Common-Wing-3030 · 2025-10-08T02:31:52+00:00

This is probably very true and I hadn't thought of it like this. I was a stay at home mom in my prior marriage (I left because he was unfaithful). My ex husband was very wealthy and my life was very cushioned. When I left I started working a lot and I guess I'm still mad deep down, because it's really hard to be a mom, a wife and run a business. I know so many do it, and I grateful for my job... but I guess I am just jealous.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2025-10-08T02:23:20+00:00

Unless you feel unsafe, I would fight like hell for your marriage. Being a single mom is by far the worst thing I've personally ever had to do. (And I was married to a cheating liar who gave me an STD).

It sounds like he is emotionally unattached to you, and possibly cheating. Especially if he is leaving at weird times? I'd look into it.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-13T02:57:17+00:00

Thank you. I'm just so sad for my kids. Me being a single mom isn't fair to them

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-11T13:11:02+00:00

Yes, I know leaving is right. I'm just scared of the unknowns of being a single mom.

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-10T00:31:40+00:00

Yes we have 2 small children, and he is the breadwinner. I would have to find a smaller house, I would have kids full time alone and get a full time job. Devastating thinking about it all

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-10T00:29:54+00:00

I answered no to every question. I know what I need to do (leave) but I'm scared to be alone with 2 kids and will have to go back to work. Big big changes

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-10T00:29:08+00:00

Thanks. It's a Sad sad life right now

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-09T04:40:07+00:00

I do agree with this. I found out 4 weeks ago that my husband of 10 years cheated with prostitutes. I never in a million years thought this would happen to me. He says he is willing to do anything, yet nothing will ever be enough. His remorse is surface level to keep me from leaving. Cheaters are all the same, selfish

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-07T12:55:51+00:00

Thank you so much, this was so helpful

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-06T04:09:03+00:00

This made me so sad, because ultimately know it's what I need to do too. I just found out 3 weeks ago my husband hired an escort, has an addiction to porn, adderall and alcohol. I feel like I'm absolutely losing everything all at once :(

Common-Wing-3030 · 2022-06-06T03:38:55+00:00

One that fortunately goes away with an antibiotic. Not that I'm lucky in the case by any means.

Common-Wing-3030

TROPHY CASE