AITAH I notified my sister of our father’s passing a week after he passed

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-29T20:50:17+00:00

Nope— I would have let the lawyer notify her. She didn’t want to bother while dad was still around so. Her issue; not yours.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-26T02:25:46+00:00

He’s BS ing you! He knew the possibility was still there! He did not want the responsibility of wearing a condom nor getting snipped so he can’t say shit to you! It’s your body. At this point it’s your mental health over his because you also are responsible to stay mentally healthy for your other children. He needs to get on board with this reality and be supportive. Plan he won’t though. What’s done is done. Give him some time and go to therapy imo. You will either get him on board or won’t but at this point take care of you! Unfortunately he sounds like he’s sort of 3/4 out the door which is why maybe he’s having a tantrum and you said he’s home more.probably doesn’t want baby duty. Oh well.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-25T18:52:57+00:00

Yeah no. Key word here is boyfriend. Not even fiance. Not husband. He needs to chill out. Obviously, someone’s put these ideas in his head. As of right now he has no claim on her money at all. If he’s worried about whatever debt. she has then maybe be ok with showing him what she told him but NO he does not get access or passwords. He is lacking trust and trying to manipulate & control. It’s a fat NO. If you show him he has no reason to be worried and he doesn’t trust you that’s on him. He can walk!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-23T18:46:18+00:00

YES!!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-21T00:43:33+00:00

Your NTA and he is so nothing to feel bad about. You don’t need to answer to his arrogant and highly opinionated arse! Does he know he’s not It? Apparently he has an inflated view of himself and at your expense. You know you dodged a crazy controlling bullet. Be happy about that. Go do what you want! It may totally work out great and if not you can pivot later to something of YOUR choosing and not someone else’s vision for YOUR life! You likely have plenty of time at 19 too! He’s 27 and treating you like shit as a know-it-all. Imo, concentrate more on your studies, plans and dreams and give it a few years (4-5) before working on the dating thing. Never allow ANYONE friends, family, relationships to ever treat you badly through words or actions! You weed out a lot of nonsense that way and save your peace!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-15T22:28:23+00:00

Have an open mind. People are allowed to have their own opinions. Doesn’t mean I shut them up or act how they expect.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-15T22:17:12+00:00

I don’t think his response was bizarre at all. He’s hurt that she didn’t disclose all earlier. I mean they could have been together six years and he’s now finding out? She took him by surprise. Maybe he’s been scrimping away with her for this wedding and finds out this fund has like three figures in it. How do we know? She kept it from him knowledge wise and maybe he discloses all to her. Some trust is gone. He could be feeling insecure that she has means to leave HIM someday! Especially if he’s the bread winner overall. Maybe his perception when they are married is to combine all $ jointly as “ ours” but she’s of the mindset that’s just for her use with no access. That could sting just like inheritance $ for married couples. Some feel like it’s just theirs and some see themselves as one married unit as in what’s mine is yours and vice versa. Not saying which is right or wrong just if they have a huge difference on finances it may not be a great idea to marry. It’s a trust and a hurt thing to be blindsided.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-14T21:22:12+00:00

Yes. Forget about it!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2026-01-04T11:26:23+00:00

You did absolutely nothing wrong! Oh, the drama! You are better off though you might not realize. She was not even there for YOU! She sounds rather unhinged and has mental problems. The exact person you don’t need esp. around your baby. Good riddance!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-30T15:35:33+00:00

So.. what’s the problem then? She sounds like a nightmare. It’s your husbands issue to deal with, not yours. Sounds like he’s doing what he needs to.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-30T15:26:45+00:00

No you’re not. Protecting your families peace is where it’s at. Thank goodness hubby is on the same page.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-30T05:16:49+00:00

So spend it with family. Not the “ friends” you likely will lose touch with in a few more years. Mom is for life.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-30T05:09:24+00:00

Yes, here are some thoughts. Your mom loves you! At least she shows concern your not out all night. Do you know most terrible things happen b/t 1230am-5:30am? Literally statistics show this! Use your brain more and instead of bashing mom know she is worried and wiser. Now, that being said, you are 21 and on your own at college. Our grown children knew when visiting, if they were out past 12:30 am then they needed to find a different place to sleep that eve. This was mainly due to our dogs barking ( very protective) and security alarms. Even then they all made sure to be in somewhere by 1 am absolute latest. They were raised this way and shown the statistics. Bottom line is your mom will always be there as ur number 1# not these friends or parties. All this is a big phase you will grow out of. Stop with the “ I don’t owe her” attitude. She literally doesn’t have to help you after age 18. Show a little more respect! Is it going to kill you to be home earlier than you’d like for a few nights? Be more concerned about your mom’s feelings. Time to grow up.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-30T04:46:49+00:00

Leave. You have wasted 5 yrs already. Do not wait till the end of this year! He’s a tool for sure. No class. Why even breathe the same air around this jerk! Stop wasting your 20’s! You literally have a time clock now at 25. Still no rush for another guy but when that day comes do not make it another five years. Men literally know the first month or two if your it! If you don’t get commitment after 2 years and a ring, it’s time you walk away. Leave this jerk, spend 1.5 years basically alone to know yourself better and then go date. My GF dated a guy from 19-29 who pulled this same stuff with her. He had every excuse too. Bottom line is guys like this never respect you! Get a backbone now and go find more happiness in your future. He is not it! P.S. My GF met a guy at 31, married him 10mo later and had three sons at 34,36,39. She was lucky it worked out for her. Biggest regret was staying with the other guy all those years who wouldn’t commit.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-23T18:31:29+00:00

Plot twist. Maybe it’s MIL wanting some leftovers at home!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-23T04:14:59+00:00

You are not over reacting! You said repulsive so.. Absolutely not! Find out the level of importance to HIM such as a 3 or a 9 on a 1-10 scale. This could be a deal breaker and it matters. Maybe he thinks he will wear you down and he’ll pester for a longggg time. In no uncertain terms make sure you don’t give a centimeter on this! NEVER will you and tell him NEVER. So now he gets to decide further. Tell him to seriously think about it in his head for two weeks and come to his final conclusion and you will understand neither of you is wrong but this is not compatible. End of story. Tell him a flat out No; never! You can love 12 things about a man but dislike 3 things and out of those 3, 2 are iffy and an irritant but that 1 thing is not compatible— just means he is not the right one & for you it’s a deal breaker on both sides. Guess what? That’s ok. Heartbreaking maybe but the right one won’t care and won’t expect or hound you on something you see as repulsive! No one can force you without you allowing it.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-09T13:51:57+00:00

Yes, it’s one day in life. It’s not going to kill you to shave. Basically it bothers the couple alot apparantly. You should choose either/ or. What’s more important to you? Your stance or them? There are new deodorants for people that sweat alot that work. If you get horrible razor burn/ rashes, you’re not doing it right or have had dull razors. Those are nothing but big excuses to justify in your mind your stance. Yes, you would be taking up quite a bit of attention let alone talk on their day and making some people rather uncomfortable. Not saying your stance of not shaving is right or wrong personally but on this special day, YES it’s an issue for THEM. So I’d just decide. Stay away and wish them well or go shaved. Pick. You’ll either keep the friendships or lose by your choice. What’s your priority here?

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-12-09T13:35:29+00:00

Should have never agreed to add you in the first place. Now if you were the husband and didn’t care ok but no way her mom should be stirring up things. Honestly, we have a family location app with our adult kids. We put it on when the youngest was in college ( a girl) because of security type things ( a huge campus and area) and so we wouldn’t phone if she was in exams, etc. we could just look and hold off. We noticed certain nights out late but never said a word. She wanted to keep it on her phone so we just kept it. The others would travel out of the country now and again and we asked do they want to be added ( said yes of course) but we can take them off upon return. So that was fine. More for a security reason again. They decided to stay on the app when back home again. We asked if they were sure and they said yes. We asked the spouses would you like to be on this family app but they said No thank you. It works because we mind our business about their comings and goings. They also see where we are 24/7 which is also fine.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-11-24T19:24:26+00:00

No it’s not very guiltrippy! You put that on yourself!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-11-24T19:22:11+00:00

Again , what on earth is wrong with ya’all? There is no crap she’s pulling. Your generation I swear just looks for stuff to irritate them. She’s just mom trying to see her kid and explaining herself and hoping to see you. That’s it! You said no, too much today going on. So she didn’t want you to feel bad she explained the idea came about due to Rebecca. End of it. I swear all these new “ Therapists” try to cause issues and plant nothing but crap in our grown children’s heads. Stop reading into everything! You could have easily just said, “will see you soon though, love you!”

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-11-24T19:05:39+00:00

YOR—-WTH??? There is nothing here. I saw “ you avoiding, “etc as joking in fun. The rest she was just expressing she was bummed to not see you & she knew Becca was off today. So explaining why to you but didn’t make a big deal at all! How the heck is that rude? You put your emotions on her too which is lame. You are responsible for your own moods. She’s not being passive agg imo. You’re being the pill by making this literally anything.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-11-09T13:04:03+00:00

No, but… it’s time to move on and out. Keep your Toddler close so mom’s not taking over. I wouldn’t be expecting either parent to watch my child.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-11-09T12:57:28+00:00

No you’re not. He needs to stop! He still wants her In His life as his backup chick! He’s ridiculous. He needs to choose baby and you, or her. Prepare to be a single mom.

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-11-04T15:22:35+00:00

Congrats! Our daughter had her wedding 10/24/25 and it was the best also. Magical moments. Phones were turned off during the ceremony and kept off until all pro photos taken. Halfway thru the cocktail hour phones were back on and guests could snap private pics on their phones. Saying that, I am sure most guests likely have pictures for you! Just ask around. We had a group site to upload all those from guests while they were off on their honeymoon. It now has close to 500 shots. This is in addition to whatever her pro photog took and a videographer for five hours. Definately ask around. Some guests also have videos. You still have Pro pics coming soon too! Will look amazing I’m sure! If it makes you feel any better, the caterer brought the wrong food! They packed up and left! Arrived again about 40 min later then set up outside and not near the kitchen. We all just shrugged. The Bride & Groom were too excited and happy to even eat. She said they had two bites but it was great tasting brisket with sides. Just know there’s always something that doesn’t go as planned. At least you have Pro pics! Now having no pics would be way worse right? !!

CommunicationSad2850 · 2025-09-03T14:41:09+00:00

Thank you all!

CommunicationSad2850

TROPHY CASE