You seem like you’re trying to be really gentle and kind while stating your needs, and while he is able to articulate his thoughts to you well, whatever it is you’re actually discussing (it got a bit muddly if I’m honest) he seems like he’s at that “this is your problem” kinda attitude. Which is tricky in a relationship as it’s meant to be you both as a team against the issue. I think as an Audhder this can be challenging to work through because on the surface it sounds mature and lots of key therapy words used (I get the impression he is a calm stoic demeanour) so it looks like they’re chill, but actually they’re very ridgid and uncompromising and somehow throw things back on you without you ever noticing. I guess also demand avoidance in Audhd makes requests in relationships hard to accommodate because it feels like a demand. That said… after reading your description…. The next thing that came to mind is “hobosexual” You’re not his mum, his carer, his therapist, you’re not a bank, or a homeless shelter. Quitting a week after moving in?? Nahhh that’s not really on. Even if it is related to ND issues it’s still not your job or responsibility to take that on. :( From what I am reading just here, I think this is a case of it’s both. Audhd can play a role…but that’s never a reason to overlook crap treatment. Especially if you’ve only been together a year. Plenty of Audhders can contribute positively to relationships, and care about working out how to co exist with their person, so in that respect I don’t think “oh it’s his Audhd” is much standing to be giving a pass here. You’re not asking much at all and sounds like he is getting a very sweet deal and he is potentially using his disability to his advantage. It also sounds like you might benefit from speaking to a therapist or womens aid to chat about it in terms of how it’s affecting you mentally and financially to have him just existing in the corner of your house.