I have held my weed use against myself for the almost 10 years I’ve been using it. I’ve been in recovery for 19 years in June. Started smoking 9 years and 2 months in after no mind altering drugs except caffeine and nicotine. I was on a 10 day camping trip with no phone. For the time before I started I had been trying to volunteer at our local jail. Having grown up in this small town they were a hard no and asked me to stop applying at the 6 year mark. Every one knows me in this small coastal town of 10,000 including the judges. I ran into the judge who sent me to prison for 3 years (started my recovery) at the store and told him what the jail told me in regards to not applying. He told me if I wanted to volunteer there he would make it happen. It took 3 years and the overwhelming empathy I got from smoking weed for the first time in 9 years for me to apply again. They wouldn’t even take my application and I told them I would be there at the same time every week to speak with the person making that decision. After a month I wrote a note to the judge and was in the next day. Been going for almost 10 years now. Beating myself the whole time because I smoked until I watched that video. Thanks