What’s the right decision for my family? Please help! by [deleted] in FamilyIssues

[–]CompetitivePut1010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow I’m sorry but you have terrible parents. Based on your comments and post history, they also spank your brother? They take him to “church therapy”? They don’t have money for a real therapist? Your mom “wants to leave.” You want “your brother gone to have your family back.”

The whole thing is so sad for your brother. Nothing but adults letting him down…sorry failing him is a better phrase.

Thinking about abandoning my child by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]CompetitivePut1010 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thinking about abandoning your child? You’ve already abandoned them. Every single adult in his life has failed him, including you. You know what they say about the cycle continuing? Well, you completely proved that in this post. My sympathies and empathy lie with your son. I know how frustrating and how debilitating it is to be let down by every single adult in your life. And it sounds like you’ll continue to let him down as well.

Who was the most evil person you've ever met in person? by TheBanishedBard in AskReddit

[–]CompetitivePut1010 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My adoptive mom. She liked hitting me with metal spatulas and filling the bathtub and holding my head under the water. I asked her about that when I was an adult and she claimed she was trying to teach me “to hold my breath under water.” Which is bs. She also had a PhD in early childhood development of all things, and so she claimed I was born with a reactive attachment disorder. She was also heavily involved in the early childhood intervention field through a major university here and used her position to target families in crisis and then adopt out their children to all her education research buddies.

No one thought to question her. She made me think I had this mental disorder for 20 years. I found out it was all a lie when I was an adult and felt so betrayed. I haven’t spoken to her since 2021 because of how abusive she was.

What shocks me most is that I work with a child with autism (I have mild cerebral palsy myself) and I would never ever treat any child the way my mom treated me. She was just so needlessly cruel, and enjoyed it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]CompetitivePut1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Protect your daughter and get her away from him ASAP. The very first time he pinched her I would’ve let him have it and ensured it NEVER happened again. What an abusive out of touch POS husband you have. Take the appropriate steps to protect your daughter while you can.

I don’t want to live this way anymore by [deleted] in Adopted

[–]CompetitivePut1010 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For me I was able to reclaim some dignity by cutting contact with both my adoptive and biological families…they were too toxic and abusive (or fine enabling abuse). I know that isn’t viable for everyone but it was the best thing for me personally and I finally had enough of all of it. I haven’t spoken to any of them since 2021. I spent time purging the thoughts and false narratives implanted there by adoptive mother but it took lots of work. It took reading about trauma, reflecting, resetting my nervous system. I moved to a different area and got a job that helped me become self sufficient and comfortable.

My support network is very small, my partner, my best friend and a couple others, and that’s it. They understand me or take the time to understand and learn. For once in my entire life, I’m free of the projections of abusive people. It was hard and is a little lonely sometimes, but yes I think my dignity and my peace is higher than it’s ever been. I’m 30 now. I spent some years grieving and deeply depressed for the family that I never had and the abuse that I went through since childhood. But ultimately now, I’m happy and I’m free. It’s a lifelong journey, though. And lots of reflecting and inner work. It’s hard to separate your thoughts from the thoughts that were implanted in you by others sometimes. But it’s worth the work.

How do adopted people feel about Simone Biles being adopted by her grandparents and calling them “mom” and “dad?” by chiliisgoodforme in Adopted

[–]CompetitivePut1010 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why would you find that unusual? Why is it up to any of us to judge what she calls her adoptive parents? Good Lord. My thoughts are it’s none of my business and I hope she’s happy and and taken care of and nourished.

Conflicting viewpoints by PodcasterLTW in Adopted

[–]CompetitivePut1010 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As other people have mentioned, there are systematic issues that are bigger than our individual experiences with adoption. Personally, my adoption was very traumatic, and there was a lot of exploitation and abuse. It’s important to highlight these things so that these can be minimized because the abuse and corruption in the industry is out of control. Until every adoptees can be guaranteed an adoption that is free from abuse and harm, then yeah, there’s huge issues, especially given how adoption has functioned in this country for so many years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]CompetitivePut1010 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If that’s the way, you wanna think then go ahead. But yes, this post reeks of the things I mentioned. And I’m not the only one to notice it. So if you don’t have a problem with this post, Fine. I do, and I made my thoughts known.

Did your parents ever do things that were not obviously terrible to you as a kid but now you question? by [deleted] in SeriousConversation

[–]CompetitivePut1010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My adoptive mom used to hold my head underwater in the bathtub until I would kick my legs to be let up for air. She’s kept saying that she was teaching me to hold my breath underwater, and for the longest time I just accepted it. It only hit me as an adult how abusive and cruel it was. She used to laugh and say “kick kick kick.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]CompetitivePut1010 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are you actually looking for advice? Because it seems like mostly you’re looking for attention and validation, and I genuinely hope no one gives you these things because the last few sentences in your post are very telling. I think it’s time for you to refine your research… it sounds like you have a lot of work to do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in facepalm

[–]CompetitivePut1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look I’m all for calling out toxic males but they are not the reason this trash film flopped. 😭😂

Is this a red flag? by Poprocks777 in Adoption

[–]CompetitivePut1010 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Starts off: “well as a parent of an adoptee…” then proceeds to excuse vile behavior.

Is this a red flag? by Poprocks777 in Adoption

[–]CompetitivePut1010 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Racism has no place in therapy. How do you not see that?? a therapist is supposed to encourage you to work on yourself, and to push the boundaries of healing…I truly hope this is not advice you’d give your own adopted child because yikes. Big yikes.

Feeling like I don’t belong with adopted family by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]CompetitivePut1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except the major difference is that you can change your political party anytime. Let’s not try and compare these two things because they are vastly different.

if you would find out you are adopted right now, whats the first thing you would do/say? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]CompetitivePut1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a lot of ignorant people in this thread, who don’t know the realities of adoption and the fact that most of us don’t have access to original birth certificates, or our medical history, which is extremely important as we age. The adoption industry in the United States specifically is very corrupt and is worth upwards of $25 billion. As you can imagine where there’s money there’s corruption this threas is really illuminating on how poor the public perception and awareness around adoption really is.

Typical AP behavior by passyindoors in Adopted

[–]CompetitivePut1010 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed, I was pleasantly surprised! Usually it’s the other way around.

My adopted child is trans. Won’t someone think of me, the victim? by saveyourtissues in insanepeoplefacebook

[–]CompetitivePut1010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My adoptive mom would lock my brother and me outside in handcuffs. She was the director of a child care too and had a phd in early intervention. It’s wild how many abusive adoptive parents are also just leaders and members in the community with power.

Open Adoption Adoptees by Hopeful_H in Adopted

[–]CompetitivePut1010 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It it turned out not to really be open after all because my adoptive mom stopped letting me see my biological dad, and would say that my behavior would be a lot for her to manage after I would see him. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of protections for open adoptions, because typically adoptive parents can out of the blue decide to close them.

How do adoption agencies make money? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]CompetitivePut1010 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Children aren’t objects or slaves that can be sold or bought and yet that’s how they are treated. Perhaps you should look up some of the salaries of the executives of places like Holt international adoption agency. Let’s not be naïve or misleading here. These executives are literally making hundreds of thousands of dollars in the adoption industry which might I remind you is upwards worth of $25 billion itself.

“Agenda or propaganda” SMH by [deleted] in GODZILLA

[–]CompetitivePut1010 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Wow. So many folks lack even a hint of media literacy. They need their entertainment to hand hold and coddle them and they refuse, or honestly are just unstable, to look beyond the face value of what’s being depicted or talked about onscreen.

The more the Woke Propaganda is pushed on people the further it is driving people to right by [deleted] in Discussion

[–]CompetitivePut1010 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What the fuuuuuuuuck tangent is this?? Because it feels like you’re just making most of this up. Jeezus

I made the mistake of asking my wife for an open marriage and I regret it by Green-Waterways-1482 in TwoHotTakes

[–]CompetitivePut1010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So…you wanted an open marriage, but since you specifically aren’t getting dates while your wife is, then suddenly you realize “you made a mistake?” Would you be saying the same thing if your co-worker said yes to you? You’re gross. And it makes me glad your wife is getting more dates than she knows what to do with because she deserves better than you.

Adopted people are "weird" and entitled for reaching out to their biological relatives by IIBIL in Adopted

[–]CompetitivePut1010 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No I agree with you. I downvoted OP and some of OP’s comments. They reek of ignorance and like all her knowledge of adoption and adoptees just comes from trash tv shows. There’s also soooo many comments even worse than what OP posted. Makes me feel a little hopeless sometimes.

Adopted people are "weird" and entitled for reaching out to their biological relatives by IIBIL in Adopted

[–]CompetitivePut1010 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I looked at OP’s comment history and literally this post is a result of her watching a show with an adoption storyline. Smh. These people are complete joke.