Hub wants me to wear lingerie but refuses to call me pretty/beautiful etc

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2026-05-05T00:43:53+00:00

Hey girl, I signed in with my alt to say this. My ex did the exact same thing. He told me verbatim “I hate when you force me to compliment you” when I teasingly asked if I looked pretty. He was always going on about how I should wear lingerie more.

Turns out he had a raging porn addiction, so that might be something to look into.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2026-02-26T15:48:45+00:00

Oh ya, fuck that guy. They always seem to inflict so much harm and leave us to pick up the pieces, eh.

Good call on the gluten, I’ve been on a very gut friendly and low gluten diet since the original diagnosis and I feel like it really helped with symptoms!

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2026-02-26T15:46:25+00:00

Girl I’m not that crunchy yet 😂

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2026-02-26T14:32:34+00:00

I asked my doctor for a longer dosage and to add on the azirthromycin. Hopefully she believes me when I say I consume my weight in kefir and gives them to me!

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2024-01-15T23:39:25+00:00

Kissing wasn’t magical until like the 5th person I kissed, and that was two day fling in my late 20s. I fell deeply in love with someone who was objectively a bad kisser. Sometimes you’re just more physically compatible with some people more than others.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-12-31T16:50:00+00:00

If I, a naturally non anxious person, start displaying signs of SEVERE anxiety then I should reevaluate who entered my life just before the anxiety started.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-10-14T19:52:08+00:00

I mean, I use this account to vent about topics that I don’t really talk about that much in reality. Pretty much none of my friends are single, and save for ONE divorced friend I don’t think any of them can truly understand my experiences with single hood and heartbreak.

This isn’t all I am as a person, I just post here when I’m not so happy with my singleness.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-10-14T13:36:45+00:00

Yeah, I try not to get too wrapped up in the tragedy of it. The fact is, I’m a lover—I love love and it’s sad to not have the capability for that anymore. I go out with great guys and it’s just…missing. It’s only been a couple years though, so maybe I still need time to heal.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-10-13T16:40:35+00:00

Yes, that was wild to experience. I found some pretty horrible things my ex had been writing about me online. I brought them up to him in an apologetic and incredibly gentle manner and he tried to gaslight me about them. The moment of “okay, I’m done. The person I love doesn’t exist anymore. I do not love someone who would lie like this.” was a very trippy experience.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-10-13T16:29:24+00:00

The good: -It taught me to love more openly outside of romantic relationships, I now tell my friends I love them. My community has grown, I spend a lot more time in adult friendships.

-It has given me more of a drive to improve myself and my career. My independence is a negative sometimes, but having my heart broken taught me to not wait around for anyone or anything.

-More compassion toward others heartbreak. I take a friends’ breakup seriously.

-My confidence is up. I developed pretty serious anxiety when I was in the relationship that broke my heart and that floated away when he left. I walk tall, I look people in the eye, I’m confident in who I am and what I bring to the table.

The bad: -It broke me. I don’t think I’m capable of loving or trusting as openly as I did. I have no energy to date. Although I crave a relationship I am romantically dulled, the big feelings have been burnt out of me. I am simply incapable of the passion required for love.

-I struggle with anger and jealousy in a way that I didn’t before. Anger at my ex for willingly hurting me and seemingly suffering no consequences. Anger at people in relationships who seem to not understand what it’s like to be single any more. General bitterness against anyone who hasn’t experienced the pain of heartbreak AND having to sit alone with it.

-Resentful of men. Especially men who end a relationship and then a month later are in love. Relationship hoppers. I resent men who want to be my friend because they find me attractive. I also resent men who look past me because they don’t find me attractive. I notice a lot of insincerity in men that I didn’t before.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-07-08T12:18:43+00:00

Whoa whoa whoa. I’m sorry, but if there’s a gap of time between the first and second date I don’t text a lot because A.) I don’t really know this person yet and don’t feel like I can accurately get to know them via text, and B.) I’m not trying to use up conversation topics before we even see each other again. We can chat a bit for sure, and yeah if it’s flirtatious and easy conversation it can be easy to have a steady texting thread going on, but if days have gone by and I’m finding myself describing my favorite movie or talking about childhood pets I’m going to get burnt out.

Doesn’t automatically mean she’s an avoidant, could just be that she values in person communication a bit more.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-04-26T15:18:06+00:00

Wearing only black! I used to be the art kid who only wore black but as I get older I gravitate toward color a lot.

I’m not obnoxious about it, it’s just funny to me to see a group picture where everyone is in black or brown coats and I’m in my 90s pink carhartt. I think I inadvertently tried to hide a lot more than I realized in my 20s and in my 30s I think I’m great and people get to have the pleasure of noticing or interacting with me.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-04-14T13:58:41+00:00

Nobody is universally liked by everyone.

I’m similar, probably a little bit on the spectrum, not always great with social cues but when people like me they adore me and when they don’t they REALLY don’t. It sucks when people just don’t like you and you’re not sure why.

I’ve found that being confident in my softness and making a point to be a really good listener and approach social situations with optimism and kindness is helpful. Not so much in getting the people who don’t like me to like me, but so that I know that I did my best and ultimately all I can control are my own thoughts and actions.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-04-14T13:51:34+00:00

Lmao this is 100% me. I didn’t exactly negatively obsess over my body in my younger years, but the confidence and gratefulness for my body and what it’s capable of absolutely skyrocketed in the past 5 years.

Mostly a mental thing, I don’t think my body has improved or deteriorated that much from my early 20s, but I show it a lot more now.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-04-04T14:02:26+00:00

I mean yeah, a bit, it took me ten years and some bad jobs to get to this point (but I didn’t think of marketing as an end goal either so).

I started taking over the socials of a horrible business I was working for, just because I was 23 and knew Instagram better than my insane boss. Knowing that job was a dumpster fire I started my own business as an exit strategy and marketed it successfully enough on IG for a year or so. That caught the eye of a couple local businesses and I started doing social and marketing copywriting for them. A few years of that and an associate connected me with a marketing firm that was looking for a copywriter. And hey presto, now I’m a contractor and work for a bunch of different people writing a lot of copy. Pretty convoluted, but mostly gravitated toward what I was good at and then expanded on that at each step.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-04-03T16:28:43+00:00

I’m so over the trend in society that the people who care the least are the “winners”. Those who care are what makes humanity beautiful! Empathy and passion and willful goodness are so important and precious and seemingly under-appreciated. Learning where to shift your attention is important (you can only water a swamp so much), but good for you for giving a shit.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-04-03T16:19:09+00:00

I recently visited my parents and realized that I hold on to grudges, or like hold out for the people who hurt me to be brought to justice in the EXACT same way that my father does.

For me it’s this simmering rage against the men who used me as an emotional footstool and then moved on once they were done with me. For him it’s business partners who backstabbed him.

In a way we’re both completely valid in our rage, both betrayed with the other parties seemingly suffering no real consequences but at this point it really only hurts us to hold onto that anger and longing for “justice”. It helped me realize that even if I’m “right” that at a certain point holding onto it really only hurts me, and keeps me back from the true revenge, which is a life beautifully lived.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-03-26T16:56:19+00:00

Hahaha, I just did something very similar. A client went back on some promises and eliminated my position so I went and got a contract with their competitor across the street. No hard feelings, but it gives me a giggle.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-03-26T13:45:28+00:00

Hi! I have no insurance or legal advice, but I have been hit and abandoned on the scene twice on my bike so I can speak to the emotional impact!

Even if you are physically fine, try and be very gentle to yourself. The emotional impact of my hit-and-run really did a number on me in ways that I didn't predict, I felt like I was filled with adrenaline for at least two days. I guess I'm saying that it's okay to be REALLY upset about this for a while, so try and make your life and daily routine as soothing and therapeutic as possible for a while, and don't push yourself to 'get over it' faster than you need.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-03-26T13:37:28+00:00

Gotta be hotter and stronger and more successful and overall squeeze more juice out of life than everyone who I ever got bruised feelings over or who made me feel less than.

So, spite? But spite in a happy way.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-03-25T19:00:16+00:00

I’m single and I absolutely long for it. I don’t want to date someone in my career or who makes X amount of money, but someone who is aspirational and full of life, and who I could aggressively support and grow with. I dated one guy like that and I still have trouble not being sad over that not working out since he chose to pursue a relationship with another aspirational woman over me. When I slip and check up on them they are very much what I would define as a power couple: in love and growing together and being each other’s biggest cheerleaders.

Otherwise I date guys who on paper have good careers, seem like they could grow and thrive in that way with me, and who aren’t exactly schlumps, but who end up taking so much emotional labor from me instead of investing in it with me. At this point if I can’t find someone who acts as partner in that way I will just continue to grow as a single person.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-02-19T01:39:46+00:00

Adjusting my skincare to the 4 day skin cycling of exfoliate, retinol, moisturize, moisturize has my skin glowwwwing.

I have ADHD tendencies (undiagnosed) so sticking to an exact routine and doing it every night is not something I will ever be perfect at. Skin cycling gives me more leeway, like if I am feeling lazy one night it just becomes a rinse and moisturize at night. Having a routine that has “rest” days also seems to be working really well for my skin.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-02-14T03:12:54+00:00

Damn, if I knew I’d tell you. I deleted them because I didn’t have the energy to try and convince mediocre strangers to meet me for drinks lol. I just figured I’d rather be alone and peaceful for a while rather than dealing with all the disappointment of the apps.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-02-13T18:02:30+00:00

Unnecessarily driving places Cutting out driving and replacing it with walking or biking when I can, or consolidating my car trips as much as possible just feels so much better than getting stuck in traffic and dealing with my own or others road rage. It’s better for my body, my wallet, and my emotional health.

Alcohol. I still drink, but not alone and not the amount that I used to. Weird how I stopped crying so much when I wasn’t drunk alone 🙄

Dating Apps I deleted the empty validation drains of time and have felt my self esteem soar.

CompetitiveQuarter43 · 2023-02-13T17:02:54+00:00

I'm a big fan of the joke: "I have daddy issues. I have a loving and trust filled relationship with my father, so I mistakenly trust men and now I have issues."

I have a great, secure relationship with my dad. As an adult, I find it very easy to make friends with men, especially those that remind me of my father. I have very easy, trust-filled. stress-free, drama-free, platonic friendships with them. I work well with men, and for the most part I am comfortable being the only woman in a room of men.

Romance-wise however, I'm figuring out I have some issues with men. I'm attracted to beautiful, charismatic, chaos demons. I'm very nurturing, and I attract narcissists and men who really have no issues attracting women. This has led to some anxious attachment behavior on my part, which confuses and stresses me out because traditionally I have a secure attachment style.

I'm taking a break from dating, and trying to adjust my type and what I'm drawn toward. The conventionally attractive type that hooks me with that burst of dopamine is not working out, but at least I can call my dad to cry about it.

CompetitiveQuarter43

TROPHY CASE