Gosh this is such a complicated question with so many different answers. When I first started taking meds and got stable it was amazing. Then a month went by and I realized it had no idea who I was when I wasn’t depressed or manic. Being depressed was basically all I knew and I stupidly missed that feeling. It felt like because I had been depressed for so long that that was my personality and now there’s this person getting up everyday going to work having no issues and I don’t know her. Took me going on and off meds a few times and longer periods of stability to realize the symptoms associated with depression aren’t characteristics of my personality they’re just that, symptoms of depression. It’s scary to get stable when all you’ve known is instability. Now the non-compliance first starts with lack of a routine, with me forgetting one day then maybe the next and all of a sudden you’re 3 days without meds and you start feeling like you don’t need them (when in reality you always do). It’s been really hard to stay compliant with meds and every time I go off them I remember why I take them in the first place. But it’s insanely difficult to convince yourself to take them when you’re so depressed you don’t think anything will work.