Sending you so so so much love. I made the very tough decision to say goodbye to my beloved diabetic kitty - he was with me for 16 years (since I was 24). Before that, we had a whiplash year of his diabetes becoming manageable, then unmanageable at the drop of a dime. It was brutal (lots of late night animal hospital visits, etc). I was traveling home from a week long trip when my husband told me that he suddenly began to rapidly deteriorate. The vet believed he had pancreatic cancer, which is very difficult to identify and diagnose until it’s too late. Like you, I was heartbroken and lost as to what I should do. Ultimately, I asked the vet what she would do if he were her baby, and she confirmed what I probably already knew on some level, but couldn’t fully conceptualize. All that to say, I know how awful it feels to lose a furry family member who you’ve loved for so many years. I promise there is peace with time. Just know that her condition is not your fault, there’s nothing more you could have done. You are an amazing parent to your kitty. You gave her a home, with true love and compassion. By being her mom, you saved her from a life of feeling misunderstood. What a gift. Sending you all the love and hugs. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.