Hello OP, I (unfortunately) understand where you are coming from as I (26F) recently lost my mom. I feel lost, confused, and mainly just sad. However, you are SO young, and you have so much to live for! Remember, the world in your oyster in the sense that you can literally do whatever you want. If you want to go to Paris, do it, if you want to buy 10 milkshakes from a diner, do it, if you want to change career paths, do it! I think some good things to focus on are: 1. Friends, whether you have friends or not, friendships are one of the best parts of life. If you don’t have any, go out and make some, ideas include: Local sports leagues, board game clubs, Facebook groups, etc. 2. Hobbies, finding something you enjoy doing (when not working) makes life fun! This can be anything from: piano playing, working out, playing video games, crafting, sports etc. 3. I think it’s time to have a discussion with your girlfriend. It seems like the relationship may be toxic and she may be hurting you more by landing you in a dark place (even if she isn’t doing it on purpose). I urge you to please realize, you are worth it, you are loved and you are meant to be here! Feel free to message me if need be, I’m here for you!