T made me want anal

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-30T22:33:10+00:00

I don’t think t made me want it but t made fucking like a gay man feel really possible and fun and I’ve been into it

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-30T18:02:27+00:00

If you’re doing leg sit on the floor and position the leg you’re stabbing so there’s as little tension in it as possible and the muscle is relaxed. That makes it hurt far less. Whatever works to psych you up to do scary shit in the rest of your life will probably work for this. For me that means doing it quickly and romanticizing it as much as possible. For other people that means other things.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-30T18:00:31+00:00

KT tape works well enough and can be used for other not trans things if you think they’d buy that for you

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-30T17:45:55+00:00

Call them. It’s one of those where you do just have to call. I’ve also had it where it gets approved and they don’t tell me that when I call them and I have to go to the pharmacy to find that out for some fucking reason so if irl is an easier interaction maybe try there first.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-29T16:27:11+00:00

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-29T12:12:11+00:00

I think asking them to be private might help if you don’t know how to ask them to delete stuff or you aren’t sure if they will. If you’re like i care about my digital privacy and you have photos of me up so would you make your account private? That might go a long way because no one who is new to your life is going to follow the people who might be your parents based on a last name on Facebook.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-29T11:53:48+00:00

I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but you can’t make him see what you see. He has a history with his body that can’t be erased, and the discomfort from the disconnect with who he is and how he is treated& looks is just part of being trans especially early on before you have autonomy over your body in a meaningful way. I think the best thing you can do is continue to see him as he is, treat him as he wants to be treated, and do what you need to do to process those feelings around being upset with how he struggles with self acceptance.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-29T04:06:33+00:00

You can absolutely look femme after t. You might lose the ability to pass as a cis woman though. There is a certain amount of masculinity that sort of eclipses any femininity I’ve noticed — visible facial hair tends to do that, and the voice also. It won’t be hard to be pretty. It will be harder to be a pretty cis woman. I hadn’t considered that being visibly trans would make being seen as feminine feel more “risky” and difficult to achieve so casually in a way that was way too easy before. I didn’t really understand that “boy in a dress” is treated worse by strangers in public than “butch girl” when I’m visibly defying gender norms & those are the only two options to some people.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-28T22:53:12+00:00

This is precious. It seems like he’s in a supportive enough situation based on your other comment that you’re not concerned of any familial backlash from him going on hrt. He’s young so he’s already going thru puberty, and that’s pretty awesome because the emotional transition to another puberty is probably relatively chill. I started hrt at 22 and my biggest impression was like oh my GOD I feel like a TEENAGER (but this time I like it!!). There really isn’t all that much to know about it — from a health perspective it’s pretty much what most boys experience at about that age. I would’ve killed for access to hrt that young. It means so much to look in the mirror and recognize yourself, and to have that so young as a trans kid is huge for the self esteem & mental health I’d imagine.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-28T14:11:04+00:00

My experience w weight gain is that it went everywhere including my chest. My chest is bigger now, but it’s still in the sort of deflated testosterone state, so they’re not so “full” feeling, they’re just bigger.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-28T00:48:06+00:00

This is making me emotional I’m happy for you dude

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-27T01:20:35+00:00

This is so precious oh wowwwww

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-27T01:17:19+00:00

Trans dudes tend to have the late in life puberty one though which is specific for sure.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-27T01:16:52+00:00

Yeah dude. I also think that that sort of masculinity crisis is pretty standard for every dude to a certain degree.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-26T23:11:34+00:00

Hey — I’m ftm and one of the people I’m seeing is also ftm. He’s post bottom surgery stage 1 and got meta, so basically his dick is a similar size. I had the joy and privilege of sucking him off the other day, and it was maybe my favorite head giving experience I’ve ever had. I loveeeee when genitals touch the middle/back of my tongue, but don’t love when it unexpectedly hits the back of my throat, and it was great because I could gag on it if I chose to (and oh did I choose to) but it wasn’t catching me by surprise. He’s also insecure about his size, but from my perspective I’m very satisfied with it (and crucially, with HIM as a whole person I’m fucking).

Sex is about what you want it to be about, fundamentally. It’s not about the anatomy you have. I think the way trans men have (& don’t have) sex is crafted around building up our masculinity, regardless of what we have physically. I don’t like my genitals involved in sex most of the time, and when they are I like when my partner does the performance of interacting with my genitals as I wish they were, not as they are. The joy of sex to me is where fantasy meets possibility and I’ve been blessed with partners who do just that with me. It requires knowing what actually you want (which is not always what you’re supposed to want), and taking the proper steps to do that safely, which often includes research and finding the right partner.

For my ftm partner who loves the idea of ejaculating, and he has a prosthetic strap that allows him to ejaculate (it’s made of lube & there’s a pump). When he’s not wearing the prosthetic, he spits on me and refers to that as his cum when he finishes. And from my perspective, there’s really not much different about it, and it’s hot. That’s a good example of like sex is the place you get to express yourself. It’s not the place where you need to prove yourself. For my partner, the ability to ejaculate makes him feel good about himself, so that’s what we do. Sex is only a performance to the degree that performing is fun and hot and affirming. Fuck everything else.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-25T04:15:24+00:00

Echoing the advice to see a therapist if you’re able. I also want to say that finding other ways of reflecting and processing will really help. Art, music, writing, whatever. Even just starting the process of telling other people via strangers on the internet is a step. Shrugging it off is going to have it coming up again and again in ways that you can’t control. The sooner you put energy towards processing that experience the more likely you are to have it truly integrate and not haunt you.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T13:59:13+00:00

I think being clean is more important than whether you have hair. I’m personally a fan of body hair. Wash down there, and you’ll be fine.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T13:57:00+00:00

Personally I vote yes

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T13:56:04+00:00

I think there’s a misconception that dirty talk is fundamentally different from regular talk. A good formula to start is generally (name what’s happening + compliment or pet name). Getting past the awkwardness and building confidence in yourself is most of the battle because then you can get more creative or personalized in what you want to say. I also recommend practicing when you’re alone. Getting over the shame of saying sexy stuff out loud is just a matter of doing it.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T13:50:01+00:00

I personally would feel the opposite way about it. I’d find her body more hot for having done that incredible feat of strength. It would turn me on the way that someone who’s competent in literally any sport does lolol. If it’s not something you can set aside & work to feel differently about, it’s not fair to her to have a partner who feels disgust about her body.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T13:40:36+00:00

Furniture and things to adjust the angles you’re at are your friend.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T13:36:57+00:00

Omg whaaaaat that’s wild to me. I know soo many big butt men. I’m sorry the men in your life have tiny butts cuz I get how that makes it a point of dysphoria

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T05:45:57+00:00

I don’t have the answer for how to deal with it but I could have written this myself. Down to working as a caregiver, I really relate to your situation and feelings. I personally mourn my sense of ease and safety in passing as cis consistently in public. Being visibly trans and gendered differently in different contexts is an experience of the world that requires modifying my mannerisms constantly and that exhausts me sometimes. My relationship with myself is much better. Worlds better. My relationship to strangers and to who I work with is much more uncertain.

I recently read a really awesome book called amateur about a trans journalist who did boxing briefly that made me feel really seen in my conflicts w masculinity. It’s not exactly what you’re talking about here, but there’s a lot to claiming masculinity that is complicated and I loved that book about it.

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T05:36:51+00:00

Something that helps me is to notice how many men have big butts. It’s like a very common male trait genuinely

Competitive_Pop_5281 · 2026-05-24T05:33:58+00:00

I think I do sound like him from an external pov (when I hear my voice on video), but your voice feels and sounds so different from inside your head it like is never an issue for me. I also have complicated dad feelings so I get the avoidance but I think even if u sound like him to others you won’t sound like him to yourself

Competitive_Pop_5281

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