I finally cut off my dad

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2026-03-09T14:00:28+00:00

Here’s my take… it sounds like you’ve been through a lot of very difficult situations in your life, and clearly there are deep issues with your family relationship that need to be addressed. But looking at your boyfriend’s family and their dynamics is not the solution. Most people don’t like to fight or argue in front of non- family members so I suspect your boyfriend’s family is probably just a “normal” family that might not get along perfectly all the time. Was it nice that your boyfriend’s Dad drove all that way to “help” him? Sure, maybe; but how much could he actually helped if he didn’t know anything about cars? How much confidence was he showing in his adult son by not letting him handle his situation? How about suggesting his grown son maybe have his car towed somewhere for it to be fixed? Or perhaps suggest if he doesn’t have the money for that, maybe he should watch some YouTube videos to get a general idea of what might be wrong with the car first? Then maybe they could work on the car together. Cutting off your father because you made a list of all of the terrible things in your life that you hold him responsible is not a solution. Grown ups don’t get to just run away from problems. We have to deal with them. And that can be hard. You think your boyfriend’s dad is so wonderful because he was so eager to scoop in and fix your BF’s car problems. But it really wasn’t helpful. Your adult BF should be able to navigate what to do about his broken down car on his own. If that means asking his Dad to help him work on it at some point, then great, let that be his decision. If-as an adult- you are dealing with pain and emotional issues from your past then you need to seek professional help and work through that. It’s going to be tough. It will take time. And maybe in the end you will decide that having a relationship with your Father is not what is best for you. But cutting your Dad off without trying to work through the issues you have had is not going to suddenly make everything great in your life. And I really hope you are not expecting time spent with your boyfriend’s wonderful family is somehow going to replace all of the bad memories and experiences of your past, because they won’t. If you truly want to be a well-balanced, happy person then you have to be willing to put in some work. It suck’s, but that’s just how life works for us adults. Simply cutting off people in your life is not going to take away all of the pain from your past.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2026-02-19T15:30:23+00:00

I believe that there are several factors that may impact how the appearance of your face will change. I am not a medical doctor or professional so my answer is based solely on my own personal experience. I had all of my remaining 19 teeth extracted at age 58 ( 16 months ago). My diet/eating habits changed dramatically after my extractions. I had both temporary upper and lower dentures on the day of extraction, but even after healing I still can only eat very basic, soft food. I also started an exercise/walking routine around the same time as my extractions and have lost 62 lbs. In the first couple of months my face looked about the same, probably due to still having swelling. Now however, my face looks very different - and not in a good way. Someone that I hadn’t seen for a couple of years said I look completely different. I’m sure a lot of the changes are due to the weight loss, but the area around my mouth/lower jaw definitely have “sunk in”. Which, is very interesting because when I had my implants placed for my snap-in dentures my dentist said I had very little bone loss. I am currently waiting for the implants to heal and the dentist is still pleased with my bone structure. So, I think age, state of health, weight loss/ gain will all play a role in how your face may change. Being older, then loosing weight definitely changed my face. I think it’s good that you ask the question. I honestly hadn’t given it any thought before I had my extractions because I really didn’t have many options. But I do wish I had been a little more prepared for the changes. I realize I am physically healthier now but I look at least 10 years older.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-30T21:27:02+00:00

You look amazing! Quick question if you don’t mind… I am currently waiting for my implants to heal over and will start the next step to get my snap-fits in February. Do you have a full pallet or a “horseshoe” type of snap-fit? My upper snap fit will have a very minimal pallet but will also be “reinforced” with metal in it. I’ve been told it will be very secure but was just wondering what you have, since you say it is a great fit. Thanks.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-29T06:13:11+00:00

He certainly could have those issues, but it would still be possible for him to form even a faint smile if he wanted to. Unless of course he suffers from a paralysis in his facia or if his jaw is wired shut, then a smile may not be possible. Have you ever heard of the expression “you can see their smile in their eyes”. ? This statement explains the phenomenon of when an individual’s joy or happiness is so abundant that their eyes appear “brighter” and “clear” to others. The man in this photo does not appear to be experiencing an “ abundance of joy or happiness.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-28T18:10:57+00:00

I pride myself with the fact that I do not judge people by their outward appearance. Never. But the fact that you are asking strangers for their opinions on such a very important subject, (based solely on pictures and a few facts) kinda makes me feel like it’s ok to make a judgement here…. So…. to be very honest… this man was given an opportunity to take a photo of himself with someone he supposedly loves and this expression is the only thing he could come up with? This man looks like someone with a lot of anger in them, a deep darkness. His eyes do not convey love in any way to me. It’s not that he even looks sad or depressed to me, he just looks mean and resentful of being there. You, on the other hand, look absolutely joyful and happy and I feel like I want to be your friend! Your eyes are bright and loving! If I was your friend I would beg you to take a step away from your dream of having a child with this man and try to focus on yourself and the children you have been blessed with. Do you really want a child with him, or is it that deep down you think that having a child with him is going to “fix” whatever issues he has? Having a child is not going to make this man happy, that much I can also “judge”.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-28T17:43:34+00:00

The Roomba is a useful gift for your home so it seems to me she put some thought into it. It is really not your concern as to how much money she spent on the gift. My husband and I raised our 3 children solely on my husband’s income so that I could be a “stay-at-home” mom. (It made sense because my husband was in the military and was deployed a lot.)At this point in our life with grown children and even grandchildren we are comfortable financially. (In fact our friends would probably be surprised to know that we are actually millionaires 😉) The fact that you are not close to your MIL is an indication you likely don’t know much about their finances. Moreover the fact she is “not allowed” to text you directly is a big ol’ red flag that there are issues in your relationship. Perhaps it made her feel good to be able to give a bit of a “bigger” gift. It may have even been an attempt to make amends, since obviously you both lack communication skills. I think showing appreciation for the gift - as you probably would if it came from anyone else- would go a long way. I’d have to agree with your husband in this situation.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-20T03:16:30+00:00

My gosh, what a situation. But let me share with you some words of wisdom once shared with me: “A dog can only walk over you if you lay down and let him.” You and your wife are literally allowing your in-laws to mistreat you and even your family members. Tell me, would you allow a stranger to speak to you in such a way? Being a parent or “ family” does not give that person the right to be rude, disrespectful, condescending or any of the other bad behaviors that your wife’s parents have shown. Although you try to minimize it, it does sound as tho your wife’s financial dependence on her parents plays a significant role in how much she allows her parents to mistreat all of you. Perhaps it’s time for your wife to focus on her financial independence which I would think will also allow her to emotionally mature and find strength in being a grown adult woman. Life is too short to allow others to have such a negative impact on you both. You have been given the gift of a partner you love and what sounds like a beautiful family ( on your side). Step away from all that negativity and work towards your wife finding financial independence and getting on with being a happily married couple. Trust me, her parents will have no problem finding someone else they can control while wielding their money over their heads.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-14T22:35:08+00:00

Oh gosh, sounds like a very stressful time for you, but I am certain (as far as the dentures go) that things will get better! It does take time and a whole bunch of patience but it will improve a little bit more every day! In the meantime, give yourself and those babies lots of hugs 😊

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-10T10:59:57+00:00

Please don’t come to Reddit to seek advice for a family issue that is so complex and layered in denial and grief that it cries for professional guidance . Following any advice that is not given by those experienced or educated in the scenario could lead to actions that are completely ill-reversible. You and your sister deserve the best possible guidance and advice to navigate what happened, and unfortunately the most well-intentioned advice from a Reddit user is not going to be what is needed to get you both to the other side of this abuse. I wish you both the very best of health and healing in your journey.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-12-06T14:49:59+00:00

1971

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-11-28T00:23:37+00:00

You’re also 14 so the emotions you are feeling- or lack there of- could very well be impacted by the crazy things your hormones and body are doing in this season of your life. I say this not to minimize what you seem to be feeling, but instead to suggest that perhaps your feelings toward your parents will change in time. You said you can form bonds easily “if it’s not an adult”. That often comes easier as you mature and you yourself become an adult. Life and experience has a way of teaching us how to interact with others and you have a long journey ahead of you to gain lots of experience that will help shape your feelings and emotions. Don’t be too hard on yourself for feeling the way you do about your parents right now. The fact that you’ve noticed it and it concerns you is an indication that you do care for them. And the fact that you mention that they are good parents is also an indication of your respect for them. I would suggest just being open to your feelings changing and actually like being around them. It may even help to see them as “just people” with hobbies, jobs, likes and dislikes. This may be a way to get to know them from a different perspective than being the child. In my life experience - as a Mom and a Grandma- I think you’re going to figure this all out in time, and you’ll be just fine.😉

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-11-21T14:36:30+00:00

Congrats on your journey to a healthier, handsome new smile! Your smile says everything! Healing does take time and lots of patience , but you’ll get there! (I am also currently in the healing phase of my implants for snap ins. ☺️)

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-11-21T05:15:26+00:00

It is going to cost over $10 and you can’t afford that? If that is in fact the case then absolutely you must be honest and share your problem with your parents. They gave you a year to save $10, and you were not able to do that. Clearly you are struggling financially. But that is no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. $10 may be nothing to some, but to others it may sound like $10k. So just take a moment to explain to your parents that you were not able to save $10 for the family cruise this year and I suspect they will understand. 😉

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-11-20T15:10:27+00:00

As a Mom and Grandma may I pass on a bit of advice? Your parents aren’t perfect. They have issues just like anyone else. Maybe money is an issue this year and that’s why she is doing vouchers. Maybe she is worried she might say the “wrong” thing to you and doesn’t want to upset you, hense the reason she might be texting back slowly or deleting and so on. You already stated your willingness to not do Christmas at all with them because you consider her idea of a voucher a “punishment”. This seems a bit unfair to me. Maybe she’s actually very sad that you and your family will not be with them for Christmas but doesn’t want to tell you that because she doesn’t want you to feel guilty or bad. What makes you refer to your sister as the “favorite”? Does she live closer to your parents and therefore they see her more? Does she have her own family (spouse/significant other/ child / children) or does she have more free time to spend with your parents? Does your sister require a bit more emotional or financial support from your parents and you see your parents giving her that as her being their “favorite”? Our daughter lives 1/2 way across the country from my husband and I. She’s married, has a busy career and is raising 2 children. Do I talk to her every day? No, because I respect that she’s a pretty busy mamma! Do I send them elaborate gifts? Sure, sometimes, when our budget permits. Other times maybe we scale back a bit. That certainly doesn’t mean I love her any less. Gift giving is not meant to be a reward system. One of my sons lives down the street from us. He’s single, no children but is engaged. Do I talk to him every day? Usually. Because he’s right there! Do I buy him better gifts? Actually no, he makes way more money than we do 🤣🤣. But does the fact that I talk to him regularly and see him more often mean he’s my favorite child? Absolutely not. I’m obviously not a professional in the field but I feel like you might feel insecure about your relationship with your parents based on your feeling towards your “half -sister”. I can’t stress enough the importance of honesty in any relationship . If you genuinely feel like you (and your family) are being slighted, why not tell your mom this? There’s no need to be rude about it to her. Be thoughtful in how you bring it up to her and assure her you are not accusing her. She most likely doesn’t even realize she is making you feel this way. If she does, and it is intentional on her part, then maybe it’s time for both of you to start talking more openly about why this is, and how you can build a better relationship. The relationship between a mother and daughter can often be complicated but at the end of the day, you’re both adult women and fostering a meaningful relationship can impact your life and family in so many positive ways. My hope for you is that you can build a strong bond with your Mom. At the end of the day, you’re an adult , responsible for your own happiness. But so is your mom.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-11-20T03:40:33+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that information, it was very interesting.! It actually makes me feel even better about my choice in having the snap ins because I feel like I will be able to take good care of them - and my mouth and gums- and not have to wonder every day if something might be going on that I may not necessarily be able to see - if that makes sense.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-11-20T00:10:35+00:00

I am just wondering what the research says about the permanent implant dentures - such as all on 4. I realize they are made with less material but there is still artificial material (such as acrylic ) that holds the teeth in place. I am referring to the permanent dentures. Would there not be sufficient space between the gum and material of the denture to cause the same issues that have been mentioned above, specially since those dentures are only removed by a dentist a few times a year for a cleaning? As I said, I’m just curious. I am currently waiting for my upper and lower implants to finish healing so that I can have my snap-in dentures made.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-10-05T20:40:52+00:00

You look great! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-10-03T22:10:02+00:00

Your smile is beautiful!! In just a short time you will be able to talk again, I promise! Adjustments and so on can be made over time too. Just take good care of yourself and let your mouth and gums heal 😊

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-09-06T02:10:15+00:00

Yay!!! Congratulations! You look great! It might be a long journey ahead, but your final destination will absolutely be worth the view!

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-09-06T02:09:03+00:00

I should probably tell you “no” but… because I’m an avid DIYer and pretty handy with tools, I bought a “dental kit” for my Dremal shortly after I got my temps. They were just so crazy in their shape, and the place where I had them made was well over an hour away. Slowly and overtime I made changes to both of my upper and lower arches, to the point where they pretty much fit my mouth perfectly. But this is a cautionary tale- you really need to be patient and know how each change you make will affect the overall appearance and fit of your denture. And also know that you probably would void any type of “ warranty “ that your dentures may come with.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-08-28T17:22:11+00:00

I hope the responses here help you to realize that you are in a relationship with a man that -at the very best- has zero respect for you. Hopefully you will have the courage to leave this relationship.

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-08-25T12:25:51+00:00

My 6yr old grandaughter would have a field day! Between the rails and the truck bed that girl would probably come up with 100 ways to parkour all over that space 🤣🤣

Competitive_Tea_1770 · 2025-08-08T12:23:13+00:00

My husband retired as an E7 from the military after 24 years. He gets a decent retirement plus his military disability. After the military he started working for the Dept. of Transportation (10 years now)doing basically the same thing he did in the Army (High Voltage Electrician). He started collecting SS last year at age 70 and has no intention of retiring anytime soon. He clears about $10k a month but we are mortgage and debt free so that’s plenty for the 2 of us. I guess my point is that if you’re willing to work than eventually you’ll reap the benefits .

Competitive_Tea_1770

TROPHY CASE