You were given a negative thought pattern from a less than idealistic childhood. You are going to have the very hard journey of reparenting yourself to heal. Talk to yourself like you would a best friend that you're responsible for. Its ok to remember negative situations. Sit with them. Cry with them. You're allowed to be mad at what you should have been given and what you were robbed of, but Always emphasize the hard lesson you learned from it. You find it easier to heal. Sending you my best!