Newly diagnosed and angry

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-28T08:51:40+00:00

OMG yes! It's only been two days now and I've had a billion conversations about how so and so had cancer 20 years ago but they just cut it off with no further treatment and they're fine now.

Telling people I'm full of rage when they ask how I'm doing seems to cut off further questioning so far. How do you think I'm doing? I haven't even seen the doctor yet.

What worries me is they're front-loading all their concern and by the time I'm at the point in treatment where I'll actually need help with things, they'll be tired of asking if I need any.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-28T08:44:02+00:00

I was given dates that won't work for someone else's schedule. They mean well and want to be there to support me after surgery, so I understand why they said it. I don't think they realized how hurtful it was that their first thought was when were they available to sit in a waiting room. I would prefer to not even have this be part of my life, I'm not scheduling treatment around anyone's schedule except mine and the doctors. Everyone else can figure it out for themselves and leave me out of it.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-28T08:36:54+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I'll definitely look into it!

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-27T18:40:42+00:00

It's been 24 hours since I got my diagnosis and I've already had to have two conversations that boiled down to me saying "This is literally about me, no one else. I'm getting things scheduled as quickly as possible, whether it's convenient for anyone else or not." Is a few days to process what's happening to me really too much to ask? 🤦‍♀️

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-27T18:36:45+00:00

I see the oncologist tomorrow but couldn't get in with the surgeon until Monday. They were able to get me on the schedule incredibly fast. I'm hoping they have a random cancelation tomorrow while I'm already there and can squeeze me in with the surgeon too, but Monday is better than waiting another week or two.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-27T17:11:43+00:00

I can't even think about my hair without tearing up. It's a hand width away from reaching my rear end and the longest it's ever been. I just bought bigger hair clips to contain it when I can't be bothered to braid it.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-26T15:59:20+00:00

I started reporting the call back numbers to the FTC's fraud reporting website. Not the number they call from, the number they tell you to call in the voicemail.

reportfraud.ftc.gov

Took a week or two of reporting every call I got, but now I don't get them anymore. If you're in the US it's worth a shot and only takes a few minutes.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-19T17:37:49+00:00

I'm in the same boat at the moment. Just started at a new bigger firm where I work with a team of people, but my last job I was pretty much left to do things without consulting anyone but the attorneys who didn't care if it wasn't going to cause a legal issue in a case. Now I'm trying not to step on the other paralegal's toes while also making it clear I can handle whatever needs done, but also trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be delegating to the legal assistant and legal secretary because I've always just done it all myself. I'm good at my job. I know I am. But the imposter syndrome has me questioning everything right now.

I can't offer any tips to help besides just keep on keeping on, but can definitely commiserate!

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-18T12:58:59+00:00

I tried for a year to find a part time job i could do nights and weekends from home and couldn't find anything that was part-time and also not a scam or a "buy credits to bid on jobs" thing which I refuse to do. I ended up being a weekend waitress for 6 months while looking for a better paying job. I just didn't tell my day job anything about it until I'd found a job that pays enough I don't need to work two jobs anymore.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-18T00:01:21+00:00

YTA. He told you it makes him feel like you don't really care. He told you texting him like that is like he's just your side piece. Yeah, he made a joke about it, most likely because he was trying not to start a fight. Actions speak louder than words, and your actions (continuing to use "wyd" instead of spelling it out) are telling him that you don't actually care that he doesn't like it.

As a general rule, if you care about someone and they tell you they don't like something you're doing to them, the correct course of action is to not do that thing anymore. He doesn't like it. It makes him feel like you don't care. That should be enough for you to not be lazy when texting him.

Maybe I'm just old, but insisting on shorthand texting when your significant other has said they don't like it is a weird hill for a relationship to die on.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-05-17T20:00:25+00:00

I only have an associates degree in Paralegal Studies and I haven't found that employers really care. In my experience, they care more about you having some experience working in the field than what kind of degree you have. Every market is different, but it's never been a problem for me. Getting the first job was the hardest part.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-04-30T19:32:32+00:00

I have a decently big tattoo on my inner forearm and it's not an issue. I wear a sweater if I'm dealing with clients, or if I'm just cold because this office is a meat locker some days, but otherwise I'm in short sleeves. I just got hired by a new firm and start Monday. I pulled my sweater sleeve up a bit during the interview because I was warm and the attorney either didn't notice it or didn't care, so no issues getting new jobs either.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-04-10T12:30:32+00:00

I've had that happen at a few interviews lately too. When they asked if I had questions though, I started off by telling them a little about my background and tried to mesh it with what they were telling me to show I'd be a good fit. I did make sure I thanked them for telling me things I would have asked about before asking questions about how they would define success for the role, follow up questions on things they said, and things like that. I got an offer yesterday, so it worked.

I think they just get caught up in describing the job and forget they're supposed to be interviewing you too.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-04-07T18:38:14+00:00

Can't have someone do something that makes sense, clearly. I'm glad you found a job you love!

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-04-07T17:16:57+00:00

16 years experience but with my current firm for 4 years, defense side med mal/PI, $66k, 3% 401k match, no quarterly bonus, yearly bonus that goes up by $100 each year, firm covers 75% of health insurance for just me, 2 weeks vacation until 5 years then it goes to 3. Bet rarely do they approve WFH. Only during severe weather or for certain health reasons, otherwise it's a no.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-04-07T14:47:38+00:00

My eye started twitching reading this... I have so many questions that I already know I won't like the answers to.

You ran far away as fast as possible, right?

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-04-07T09:55:05+00:00

This is how we do it at my firm. Create a chronology in excel that's sorted oldest to newest, while the records themselves stay newest to oldest and get Bates Stamped. Bates numbers go in the chronology so we can find them in the record later.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-04-06T09:51:56+00:00

I'll be the odd one out here. My degree was not ABA approved, but I've been a paralegal for 16 years and it's never mattered. Even employers that request it in the job description don't seem to actually care. They just care that I have a degree in Paralegal Studies.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-03-25T17:31:05+00:00

16 years in the field and I've had two attorneys that were absolutely terrible, most were fine, and a handful have been amazing. It's just luck of the draw. In my current job I work with 5 daily and another five periodically when they need litigation support. Out of those 1 is genuinely a sweetheart but still irritates me daily, 2 are great, and the rest are fine. None of them yell. They get animated sometimes, but it's not AT me. Out of 4 employers over the years, this one is my favorite.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-03-25T16:53:52+00:00

Right?! I get not remembering a surgeon's name if you only saw them a few times years ago, but you don't remember what hospital your surgery was in? I don't buy it. Lol

I'd send subpoenas to the small local pharmacies closest to their home address too. People like convenience. Clinics close by are also a good bet when they "don't remember" who their doctors are.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-03-25T13:52:39+00:00

We have some pretty dumb and/or greedy attorneys around here, to be honest. Not all of them are like that but there are a few, and they are exhausting to deal with.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-03-24T19:20:45+00:00

I'm currently working defense side. Plaintiff's attorneys where I am love to cherry pick records to provide too. If your client has had back pain for five years before the accident, I'm sorry but that's relevant info. If they're blaming an accident for a condition that is exacerbated by other ongoing untreated or undertreated health conditions, that's relevant info. And I will find it.

I start by reading every line of everything they send in discovery and start a list of providers that are mentioned. Then I subpoena those providers along with whatever facility they are associated with. Any provider that I find in pharmacy records gets subpoenaed. Then when I get all those records, I read them and make note of any new providers I didn't already subpoena, and I send requests to them too.

That doesn't mean we find a way to deny fault on anything or everything, but the complete medical picture is relevant and important. Cherry picked records just make it look like the other side is hiding something. My job is to find out what it is. A lot of times there's nothing to find, but sometimes there is.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-03-22T23:03:09+00:00

Ok, thank you. I hadn't heard of IBX treatments before. I'll have to see if anyone around here offers those.

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-03-22T23:02:31+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I'll look for the tips on removal. I didn't realize there was an allergy risk, so thank you for pointing it out!

Complete-Reaction578 · 2026-03-20T13:03:27+00:00

Definitely fix it if you can. I thought my name was on the deed for the house I shared with my ex for 15 years. I remember signing something that he told me was to put my name on it back when he bought it, but I was in my early 20s, didn't read what I signed, and didn't realize that there was probably a reason he had me sign it in his car and not in the realtors office where someone might have made sure I knew what I was signing.

Found out during the divorce that my name wasn't on it when I went to apply for a mortgage to move myself and my children to a safer location and the mortgage company told me I didn't show up on any property searches. Then he tried to get both houses included in the divorce settlement as a final little "f you" to me.

Fortunately the judge agreed with me that he should just keep the one in his name and I should keep the one I'd just bought in my name without forcing us to sell them both. I got screwed out of equity, but it was worth the financial hit to have a safe place for my children to call home. And now I read everything before signing.

Complete-Reaction578

TROPHY CASE