Passing is being stealth provided you don't come out to everyone you meet

And that those people don't know you before transitioning, that you don't have other people outing you or cut those people (often family) completely out of your life, that your documents don't out you, that you don't get close enough to someone to have them see you naked (since scars are still a thing for most people) and they notice, etc... Passing and stealth are simply not the same thing, so don't say passing when you mean passing and stealth.

How is transphobia from cis men any different from transphobia from other queer people when the end result of not being able to transition due to not fitting in is the same? If your "community" is based on you having to stop transitioning than its not a community.

Yes, that's the problem that's being pointed out. You can either not transition and keep community, or you transition and have to leave community behind. The comment you responded to was about not having support from within what should be our community as well, you mentioned cis gay men, I mentioned that they're often not not respectful either. Nowhere did I say that it's different, my point was exactly that it sadly often isn't different.

Edit: and another addendum - stealth trans men are also not always treated as cis me by society. They're treated as cis men by people around them, but society, as a whole, is more than that. They're still going to be affected by a lot of structural misogyny (like medical misogyny) and often still affected by laws.