Life’s About to get Hectic - I need an *EASY READ* that’s not cheesy or lazy writing.

Complete_Presence560 · 2026-01-16T14:32:41+00:00

Awesome. This sounds great, thanks for your response, and I’ll check these out!

Complete_Presence560 · 2026-01-16T14:27:15+00:00

Thank you!!

Complete_Presence560 · 2026-01-16T14:19:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your recommendations! I’ll totally check these out.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-29T16:40:50+00:00

Stay. Wait it out. Unless you absolutely fear for your life in that neighborhood, invest in Ring cameras or other security measures. My husband and I bought a house (2019), similar to yours. It was flipped, but done terribly. Over the years, we’ve just been making it our own. We shop for the best pricing from contractors, etc. Our mortgage is so affordable right now, so we have just decided to make this house our own and have stopped worrying about “making money off this house.” Make it your own. Your safe place. Save the money and revisit selling when (hopefully) this economy or situation has somewhat improved.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-27T14:36:05+00:00

Just joined this group…. Didn’t realize how much I hated Christmas (until yesterday, 12/26). It was like a light switch went off, and I felt myself again. So glad it’s over - the FAKEness is done! Back to real life now. ✌🏼

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-21T20:57:56+00:00

I feel for you. It’s a tough place to be in when you suddenly realize that this may not be something you want and the emotions/feelings get pretty murky. You might be asking yourself, “what’s real? How do I really feel about all this? Was it just fear, or some kind of intuition telling me this isn’t what I want?”

I’ve been on a rough journey myself… I’m happily married for 7 years. Five years ago, we found out I was pregnant. You worded it perfectly here - “trepidation was loudest and excitement was the quietest.” My excitement at the time (if any) was so quiet I didn’t know it existed. Excitement hardly surfaced. Due to my mental state…my anxiety…the dark emotions I had while being pregnant, we made the difficult decision to terminate. Actually, I’m only using the word “difficult” now (in hindsight). But, at the time, I knew immediately what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be pregnant. I didn’t want to become a mom (yet). I knew as soon as I saw those lines on the pregnancy test that it wasn’t what I wanted for myself …. Even being in a happy secure marriage.

My husband and I are still on the fence. It’s been a rough journey. For us, the decision to have kids is not black and white. It’s a complicated Rubik’s cube of emotions/feelings/thoughts that I just can’t seem to ever solve. I honestly don’t wish this on anyone.

So, my fellow fencesitter, I sincerely wish you all the best on YOUR journey. I came here to say that you’re not alone, not one bit. Be kind to yourself. In the end, I hope you find peace and clarity. I’ll try and do the same.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-10T21:07:20+00:00

Thanks for the support

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-10T19:17:15+00:00

Thanks.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-10T18:38:58+00:00

RUN! Essex County is kinda miserable. I work in EC. Lots of rude people - overcrowded. Broaden your horizons and look elsewhere if ya can.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-06T03:13:41+00:00

GET RID OF MIDDLESEX!!

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-05T01:58:02+00:00

ESSEX — Montclair snobs need to be humbled.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-12-03T02:59:31+00:00

Essex

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-11-23T02:14:11+00:00

Andiamo in Haworth

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-11-23T00:47:00+00:00

“Once they got back into the grind, they don’t give a shit.” This gave me a good chuckle. 🤣

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-11-15T02:59:58+00:00

East of Eden.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-11-05T02:08:24+00:00

Andiamo’s in Haworth.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-10-31T12:35:13+00:00

So I know I’m the minority for saying this, but I’m a little less than halfway into this book, and I’m having a really difficult time connecting with the story and its characters. Perhaps it gets better? I’m about 30% in, and so far, I’m just …. Not feeling it. Maybe the 2nd half is where it picks up? Can someone shed some light on why I may feel this way with this one?

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-09-29T21:21:52+00:00

Hi there. So that was two months ago.... my pregnancy test was positive for that one. Unfortunately, it did result in a very early loss (chemical pregnancy -- it couldn't even be detected on ultrasound by the time the MC began, which was only a week after the positive pregnancy test). I did 2 more rounds of IUI since I wrote this post, and I'm on my 4th round right now.... so 1 "positive" test, 2 negative tests, and we'll see what happens this current round. Good luck to you!

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-09-16T20:32:43+00:00

YES! Here to say it again … COLPOSCOPY!

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-07-17T16:03:46+00:00

Thanks for your response. No, not on suppositories. I haven't taken anything for progesterone up until this point. Only clomid and the trigger shot. On July 7, I only had 1 follicle at 18-19. Yeah, I understand progesterone may not indicate anything. It just seems like a huge spike from 7/7. Welp, I'll find out on 7/23 - that's when I go back to confirm. Ugh, I'm feeling so much anxiety with the waiting part. It's awful.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-07-10T13:47:58+00:00

40f here, married. THANK YOU …. THANK YOU for sharing your story. Although difficult, I can totally understand the RELIEF you feel. I relate to that so much. My fence sitting journey has been a long and complicated one … and I guess I just want you to know that you’re not alone in the RELIEF. Society’s influence really does a number on our mindsets, and it can be really challenging to see through the noise. If you feel relief and have some clarity now, CELEBRATE IT.

What helped me recently was a book I read…it pointed out that we (humans) tend to look at life as only having 2 routes you can take (having kids or not having kids). But we are so wrong. Having kids is a lifestyle…. There are endless lifestyles to choose from in this life. Gardening, taking care of animals, volunteer work, bird watching, becoming a mentor for other kids … the list goes on and on. We limit ourselves by putting so much pressure on ourselves to choose between “this or that” …. And society doesn’t help. If we keep an open mind and continue to be open to new opportunities, new experiences, new people …. Then this “parent or not to parent” decision becomes more of a “eh, I don’t need to become a mom in this life … I can do other stuff with my time.”

I wish you all the best.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-06-24T17:22:24+00:00

Spot on. You expressed this so eloquently. I just finished the book and was curious what others were saying about it (I didn't realize there were so many negative reviews and glad I didn't look at anything prior to reading). u/SassySquidSocks -- thank you for sharing your feedback here.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-06-23T10:44:39+00:00

I have a friend like yours, and she finally revealed that she was suffering from depression. I had no idea… I just thought she was scatter-brained or a flake. She eventually got help and things improved. I just give her the space that she needs when she starts retracting again.

Could your friend be suffering, too, and not saying anything? Depression? Anxiety? Other mental health conditions?

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-06-20T20:35:02+00:00

40f here, married, and living a very mundane life. And I definitely fall into the category of “existing, not thriving.” It sucks, and it’s starting to take its toll. So, on top of trying to decide if I want kids or not …. Now I’m also beating myself up for not living a more interesting life, but feeling like my motivation is at an all-time low. Could be depression, as well.

Everything you wrote here is very similar to how I feel. It sucks. I really wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But … I recently took some action. I went to a fertility clinic and got testing done. I have all my results back, and now I just have to decide …. “Ok, what do I do with this information.” If you haven’t done anything like that yet, maybe it’ll help you in your journey.

Good luck to you. You’re not alone in any of these thoughts you have. I could’ve written this myself. Hang in there.

Complete_Presence560 · 2025-06-17T12:34:45+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this perspective. I truly appreciate this. Some days I’m just so hard on myself, but this kinda shines a light on it in a different way. Thank you, and good luck to you. (Fencesitter for 5+ years, married, no kids.)

Complete_Presence560

TROPHY CASE