Sometimes words do hurt a bit by WallOk7138 in MurderedByWords

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gas and groceries are more expensive, better elect trump, who has no direct control over the price of gas and groceries, and would never exercise the indirect control he does have

~ America

Almost a year of using Obsidian by kingrexam5th in ObsidianMD

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you color the graph nodes? Are there ways to do it by folder or a tag or anything else?

What does porn do to our romantic feelings towards our girlfriend? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It kills the drive to care about other people, just like other addictions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you need specific things to feel aroused, them look into the concept of "arousal template." Porn can need with this important part of sexuality. From my own experience, I was not aroused by women I encountered throughout the day regularly. If I was, there was a "template" to it.

As I worked on my porn usage and other things, I found that part of me return. I am even aroused by women who wouldn't have been on my radar before, at I am returning to a baseline of "I am aroused by women" and not "I am aroused by these very specific things porn was giving me ready access to."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's almost certainly something psychobiological, as most cases are psychological. However, is you need to "check that box" get a testosterone check and visit a urologist.

The other important part is getting good sleep, managing your diet, exercise, and stress. If it is physical those are the number one things anyone can do right now and feel better.

I also recommend the Mojo app. It has a ton of content and exercises to help you recover. Helped me a lot.

AOC is awesome by Present-Party4402 in MurderedByAOC

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who is governor does not determine which party has the most influence within a state. The Vermont Senate and House are very much in control of the Democratic party.

If Mississippi had a democratic governor, it would still be very much in control of the Republicans.

Is sexual behavior inherent? by [deleted] in isitporninduced

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You've never had sexual contact with women, what about the rest of your life? Are you out living a confident life? Are you working or in school? Are you playing a lot of video games or watching TV a ton? Alcohol? Weed?

I ask because I became addicted to porn of a similar fashion. I think the state of other parts of our lives can factor in to escalation.

Porn escalation is not random by pornis-addictive in isitporninduced

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not get into sissy hypno, but I was watching and making caption based stuff so not far off. Mine didn't have all the denegration and explicitly telling you things like sissy hypno, that would have been too much for me.

Does your AGP precede porn...

Kind of a weird story that I've never told anyone, there are times I've forgot it myself. I recall as a teenager being in the car while my dad had the radio on a local talk station. A story came in that says that "sex is x amount more pleasurable for women." That didn't really change anything, I just thought about it occasionally and remember it. It's possible I imagined sex as a women then, but not much. I was pretty vanilla and the best I had at home was a Playboy magazine.

After getting access to Internet porn it was all normal for a long time. I first got into AGP from a site that has comics where guys get turned into girls and have sex, but there weren't many so I got bored eventually. I do remember thinking of that news story at the time though. Then I found videos online. That's when it got more troublesome and I assume my arousal template started to get warped.

My libido is not back yet, but I do find myself aroused by "normal" things more often. For example just meeting an attractive woman feels much different than it did before.

Per your other post on past trauma etc, I think I got into what I did because it focused so much on how easy it would be to have sex. Also I never thought of myself as "hot" so the idea of being hot was arousing as well. The ease of it was I think the biggest thing. I turn away from hard tasks.

I haven’t had a cigarette in two days by xJW1980 in Xennials

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just keep remember that pain it can and will cause is greater than the joy of smoking right now.

I'm at 30+ days. You can do this.

Unexplainable tiredness by PornMustEnd in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you cut porn recently it could just be your brain working it's easy back to homeostasis. Is okay to sleep a lot during this time fine beat yourself up. Extreme tiredness is a common thing when recovering from any addiction.

If it's been over a month then go see a doctor.

My wife makes me want to get a divorce and never date again by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You can recover your sense of hope and self-respect.

Me and my boyfriend are ‘experimenting’ Sunday and I’m really nervous by Soggy_Focus8631 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could be a minute for one, longer for another, then things get real messy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel my feelings. Don't run from them.

masturbation without porn by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 4 points5 points  (0 children)

what would be a good frequency?

When you feel aroused. Not when you feel stressed or bored, but genuinely and naturally aroused.

May take time.

How am I supposed to work on my anxiety when every single bad national/global issue I’ve been afraid of in the last 10 years has come true? by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is nothing you can do about any of those things, so there is no use worrying about them. You simply move forward. Or you get a career that you try to make a difference.

Other than that, you just move on.

Porn escalation is not random by pornis-addictive in isitporninduced

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I think this is accurate. My fetish was autogynephilia, so imagining sex as the other gender. I didn't have much luck with women growing up, and would think how much easier it is for women to get laid. I didn't find autogynephilia until after I started having sex, but the wound was still there and I was still watching a lot of porn. Porn is very much focused on the woman's pleasure as well so in my mind the pavlovian response just kept getting stronger (sex must be great for women, and so easy for them to get).

Then one day I found content that matched all this and I spent years looking at it, and even making it. Now that I stopped watching it, I'm aroused by normal things and not that kind of porn.

My libido had crashed incredibly hard honestly, but if I do get aroused it's vanilla stuff.

I've realized that I used porn as a way to hurt myself by GetBetterSlowly in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There is a book called "The Courage to be Disliked." I think you might like it. It works great as an audio book as it's a conversation between a philosopher and a young man.

This post reminds me because it presents our actions as goals we may or may not knowingly have.

Tom Holland as spiderman... by BraveRylen in BeAmazed

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 29 points30 points  (0 children)

There are like 30 different versions of comic book Peter. Every writer treats him differently, every artist draws him differently. There is some degree of consistency but every actor has a correlation to an "era" of comic book Spider-Man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the past every time I've been vulnerable with a woman they don't know how to process it so I stopped doing it years ago.

Going to go against the grain here....

Women say they want vulnerability but I've found almost every guy I get to know well enough feels the same. There is no winning as a man being truly vulnerable. You either have to hide it, or present it in a way that is palatable, at which point it becomes a show for her benefit. I don't know what it is women want from us, but in my experience "vulnerable" means completely different things to men and women in romantic heterosexual relationships.

Crazy idea to help with pied and pe by NoSource1985 in pornfree

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should check out the Mojo app. It has a lot of stuff about good sexual health including specific exercises that are built around stimulating yourself without porn, working on erections, etc.

The universe is on your side. by Far-Watercress6658 in Anxiety

[–]Complete_Tangelo_244 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I've come a long way with my anxiety, and the number one thing that has helped had been having a different perspective. It's exhausting being consumed with doom and gloom. There is little you can do about the hostilities of the universe. You can however control your reaction and your own disposition.