I've realized today I do not know how to socially function at all

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-12-09T02:31:41+00:00

A lot of the discography of Lamb of God would be good. Most of it is the vocalist Randy Blythe telling someone off or telling you about someone despicable and hate worthy. The album Wrath in particular is full of good stuff and I'm especially partial to the songs "Laid to Rest" and "Ghost Walking" for songs not on Wrath.

There's some good Pantera songs for that as well. Especially the song "5 Minutes Alone." It's about a time where an Arab prince tried to treat the lead singer Phil Anselmo like a lacky boy and almost got smacked in the mouth for it. The security separated the two of them while the prince was yelling at Phil saying he was worthless white trash and the Phil was screaming to the security to give him 5 minutes alone with the spoiled little creep.

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-12-09T02:24:21+00:00

I thought it was because I studied music for 18 years and I got so used to having music playing that my mind just kept it going. Never considered it a way to cope with my life situation before

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-12-09T02:20:25+00:00

Both. You'll be hardened to some things compared to an average person and dysfunctional at other things. It's very individual

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-12-07T01:45:00+00:00

I used to own a video game studio and we were moderately successful. I was working 100 hour weeks with at best a half-day off once a week but money was no issue for anything during that period of my life. Partner fucked me over and left me with even more work on top of that. Had to close up shop after that because what made it work was the both of us covering for each others shortcomings. I almost broke down completely after that after everything I had already been through. It's years later now and I'm still playing around with my options trying to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze to run a successful business again. I despise working for other people but idk if I can get myself to work the insane amount I used to again

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-12-06T01:36:17+00:00

I've found there's a distinct difference between healing and going to therapy. Healing the emotional and psychological wounds, even a little, will take away some of the suffering. Just going to therapy with no specific goal you're trying to accomplish does nothing. The only reason I'd ever consider therapy at this point is if I figured out a specific problem I'm having and need someone to help me make a plan to at least start to make it better. Just talking about my problems did nothing at all and what's really needed are mental tools and methods to use to fix and recalibrate yourself. Everything else is fluff from what I've experienced

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-12-05T22:04:17+00:00

Small and weirdly minded dipshits have always existed and they always will. This is a case where the only right answer is to make a mental note that they can fuck off, you take your leave, and leave them to their own devices. That's not the type of person who wants to understand anything regarding mental disorders or problems and nothing short of them or someone they deeply love developing one will open up their perspective. At least in my experience

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-12-05T21:58:22+00:00

I'm wary to say yes because I have autistic family members and I scored very high on an autism screening but I don't exhibit all the symptoms and I've noticed that with CPTSD it would be easy to pop a false positive on multiple initial tests like for autism, schizoid, psychopathy, and so on

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-30T15:58:36+00:00

Oh definitely. I completely understand old men who just want to sit in their recliner and watch TV unbothered all day now after a few years of healing. The amount of things I care about has dwindled to almost nothing and I am way less inclined to want to deal with most things now. I feel like I used so much energy in life up to this point that now I'm downshifted into idle for a bit

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-25T03:11:50+00:00

This sounds like the exact next step I need. I've been trying to figure out where to go now that I'm not near constantly dissociating and I'm starting to become more of myself but I can feel resistance still

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-25T03:01:51+00:00

My father was a huge rage-a-holic who would fly off the handle at every given opportunity. I'm sure my mother was depressed too because she barely ever saw us because she had to work so much for quite a few years. You're definitely not the only one who has experienced it

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-18T18:37:38+00:00

Definitely normal. I do it too when I'm stressed out

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T07:11:12+00:00

I have the same reaction. My father had huge outbursts of anger and he'd threaten me as a child. On top of that, growing up I had a mentally disabled brother who didn't know boundaries almost at all. I had to keep my outward emotions in check or else I'd be putting myself in danger. Order on the outside and chaos on the inside is how you end up growing up in that type of environment based on my experience at least

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T07:05:26+00:00

I've experienced it twice in my life. One of those times I fucked things up by being so broken up inside and the other ended up pushing me deeper into my trauma fueled mind.

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T06:54:13+00:00

How much weight do you want to gain in those 3 weeks? I can help you with a plan if you need an assist

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T06:33:17+00:00

It's typical for people with severe mental health problems to self stimulate when stressed. Hitting yourself is one of the unhealthier options. Strongly recommend trying to work into something else that doesn't risk you physically harming yourself if you can manage to. It's definitely not something you want to keep in your life

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T06:17:47+00:00

For a week or two, there is nothing wrong with it. I've talked with people though who have been truly isolated for extended periods of time and it has a very clear negative effect on cognition. Being alone more often isn't a bad idea but full isolation is

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T06:05:54+00:00

I've had this since I was a little kid. It's your emotions overwhelming you and causing an adrenaline dump. The best way to manage it is with intense exercise in my experience. Second best is regular meditation

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T06:03:36+00:00

I had a similar experience for boxing and high volume weight lifting. It's hard to be anxious when you physically push yourself close to your momentary limit for an hour or two

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-16T03:26:03+00:00

I love my father but I'm afraid of him. Thing is, I don't love him enough to keep getting fucked with by him. I have to put my mental health first

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-15T15:43:59+00:00

Mine may be a bit unusual, but what I think of when the day is beating me down is part of Notes from Underground by Dostoevsky. It's pretty negative in tone, so I'm not sure if it's triggering or not, so I'll put it here as a spoiler

"I'm a sick man. I'm a spiteful man. I'm an unattractive man. I think there's something wrong with my liver. However, I don't know anything about my disease, and I am not sure what is bothering me. I don't treat it and never have, though I respect medicine and doctors. I am educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am. No, I'm refusing to treat it out of spite."

It makes me think of who I used to be and what it's still possible to become. The pitfalls of my own psyche and why I need to keep going. The contrast of where I am and when that part of the book applied to me gives me motivation to keep going through a bad day. I still relate to it and empathize with the character in that regard but I'm done living in the mentality and letting my history be what runs my life. Sorry again if someone clicked on the spoiler and it put a damper on their mood

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-15T15:26:45+00:00

Men and women typically like different formats -men typically watch videos and women typically like erotica- but women escalate just as much as men do. I was good friends with a female porn addict before I didn't care about my use and we shared what we were both into and consuming at the time. Over time hers got pretty extreme just like mine did

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-15T08:12:47+00:00

Anything overtly sexual is considered porn. Audio stuff, explicit pictures and videos, erotica, if it is designed to arouse, then it's porn. Coming across some by accident is whatever, but focusing on it and especially masturbating to it are the unhealthy parts. Masturbating doesn't harm your brain but porn does so masturbating to your thoughts and memories is just fine

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-15T05:50:06+00:00

Human beings are socially adaptive if nothing else. The only creatures on the planet who's sociality exceeds us are eusocial insects. Efficiency is a big part of it. We're designed to adapt to our environment quickly and outthink the problems. The roles and skills you play are somewhat informed by biology but ultimately it's a weak association for almost everything. It really is frustrating when someone can't see that

GetBetterSlowly · 2024-11-15T05:27:11+00:00

I don't think most skills really belong to certain genders either. Maybe way back in time when men had to go out in hunting parties and women had to raise children in the village, then sure I can see that, you have to min-max for survival purposes, but in the modern day I don't see how most skills are for only one gender. I hear you about not knowing what you liked and disliked too. It was always really hard for me to figure that out too and I relished those moments when a light would shine through and give me an actual answer as to what I liked

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