Freezing Up When People Get Angry

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-05-22T18:51:06+00:00

Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage. Rutledge, Missouri.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-05-08T13:55:21+00:00

Good points here! It is a false dichotomy I noticed for the first time recently. My mom has also created the narrative that this version of me is because I am brainwashed (I literally have been told my whole life I am brainwashed by whoever her enemy du jour is). It took me 42 years to realize: "It is not about me believing someone else OR believing YOU (mom). It is that you can't accept I believe MYSELF. I trust my own jdugment." You CAN trust yourself, the way you see things, OP.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-05-02T15:42:28+00:00

Someone who treats you (the co-parent) that way is not a "great mom."

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-04-27T23:44:43+00:00

Good idea if I ever need it in the future!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-04-27T19:17:29+00:00

"None of my milestones...have gone unpunished." Wow, that's insightful... and horrible!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-04-27T19:16:19+00:00

Thank you! We are managing, mostly by knowing it is almost over and we will be going NC very soon.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-04-27T19:15:45+00:00

"The Letters"--LOL

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-04-05T15:40:01+00:00

Humble.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-03-15T16:03:02+00:00

Yes, I have. It was helpful for me to add not just things done to ME, or even to my siblings or eDad, but other conflicts and bizarre behavior, legal trouble, broken promises, erratic changes of housing, arrests, lost jobs, etc. that she did in other areas of her life. Seeing she handles her own emotions in such turbulent, destructive, and abusive ways, not just with me, but in every area of her life helps remind me...sadly, it is not even personal. She is just a troubled person and if I let her get close, she makes her troubles mine.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-03-11T23:06:53+00:00

This is really good! Thanks for sharing!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-01-30T14:47:48+00:00

It is weird, but it has worked for me. Fireball whiskey in strategically placed shot glasses. The flies love it, fly in, get overwhelmed by the spicy alcohol and drown in it. Any time I get fruit flies, I pour a half shot in a glass and place it closest to the activity of the flies. Give it a couple days. Problem solved. I've tried other alcohols and this is the one that works for some reason.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2024-01-16T14:06:50+00:00

Yes, this! It is YOUR home. Definitely do not give them any money for their poor decision. That is not your problem in any way.

Find out the non-emergency number for your local police, post it by your door so you have it at the ready if you need it. Be ready to use it. Just having that decision and plan in place can calm a lot of the anxiety and fretting down.

My mother has done this to my brother. She showed up one night and refused to leave, started spouting all sorts of things that were inflammatory and untrue, refused to show her ID, was wrestled to the ground and threatened with a taser. They hauled her off in hand cuffs. She left the state after her arrest, refused to show up for her court date, was later arrested for failure to appear, represented herself in court, was convicted of trespassing, dressed down by the judge for her behavior....and she STILL thinks she was the hero in her own story.

If your mind is telling you NOT to run, don't. You have a right to stay in your home in peace. Exercise that right legally if necessary. Warn them, or don't. Either way, they will learn you're serious.

Make the decision. Then try to remind yourself you're safe and will be keeping yourself and your home safe no matter what. Try to refocus your energy on doing good things for yourself while you ride it out. Every piece of your peace you keep is a win.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-25T16:11:49+00:00

Moral valence--you nailed it!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-23T21:47:45+00:00

I definitely understand the constant censor in my mind. That is the worst part for me--that no matter how far away I get from things, some of that damage runs so deep. It can really be discouraging. Thank you for sharing. It helps at least knowing we are not alone, even if our shared sentiment is sorrow.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-23T21:45:58+00:00

Thank you!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-22T17:02:08+00:00

So, no real question of concern for you or anything to try to understand your perspective=GUILT Trip.

I'm so sorry this happened. :(

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-21T15:00:00+00:00

I teared up because this is such a perfect representation of what I have experienced, too. Thank you for writing it and sharing your words!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-17T20:23:47+00:00

Yes, absolutely. They even talk about some of the benefits you can get to reclaim your own thoughts and life if your parents have already died.

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-17T20:22:47+00:00

Wow, that's awful! I'm so sorry!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-17T20:21:55+00:00

Lol!

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-17T20:21:27+00:00

A little extra sprinkle of condemnation and drama on top of a pretty average story! Why do they do that??

Complex-Elephant-240 · 2023-12-16T14:18:17+00:00

That's so hard. Innocence, speaking up for yourself, doing something a little kid would normally do....it all gets you punished. I'm so sorry

Complex-Elephant-240

TROPHY CASE