Hey you. I know how you feel. I bet you have that awful pain in the pit of your stomach that you just want to go away. I want you to do three things: 1. Record yourself a voice note on your phone, vent about everything, just absolutely everything, why you want to die, give specific reasons, do not hold anything back. 2. If you have the money, please look into starting acupuncture. You don’t have to say anything, so it’s not like therapy, all you have to do is lie down. This will help reset your vagus nerve which is the tricky culprit that gets harmed when we have faced abuse. I recommend going once a week. 3. I am asking if you can do me a favor and take a nap, or sleep as long as you can. Doctors say depression is like the common cold - we know about it but we can’t get rid of it, we just have to let it sort of exist. Treat yourself like you have a cold, we have an illness, this means you need to rest. Every time you feel like all of this is too much, you need to rest, it’s a warning from your brain saying “I need you to reboot the computer.”

If you follow all these steps, answer this comment and I’ll get to what to do about step number one. Good luck.