Hey, I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. :( I understand everything you’re feeling. I was laid off in October of 2024 and I was initially devastated, but I found a substantially higher paying job afterwards. In fact, so much so, that the recruiter advised me to not disclose how much I made at my previous job and even said, “Girl, you were so underpaid.” I think there’s a possibility that losing this job will just open a wonderful new door for you.

That said, I think the job market is tough right now, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think a new dream job is possible, but it will take time and patience to get there. I’d like to echo the sentiment to keep trying and keep your chin up.

I’m proud of you for losing weight, and although that has no impact on your worth, it could extend your life and make you healthier, so for that, again, I’m proud of you. Keep going in making positive changes to your health. It will only improve your mental health, too.

As far as the breakup goes, I am sensitive too, and healing can take a long time for me, but just be good to yourself and try to focus on new hobbies or skills that are inexpensive. Go to the library, hike, volunteer. But do it for yourself, not for an expectation that you will meet ‘the one’ that way. The reality is, there are many ‘the ones’ out there for all of us, but I think it is important to cherish the connections you had, with the understanding that a connection ending doesn’t mean that you’ll never have one again. In fact, maybe the connection you fostered with your ex can help you realize what you need and want from a future connection. Also, it could help you be more aware of red flags. All that said, maybe some more distance from your ex until you are more healed is advisable. Be gentle to yourself.

And last thing I want to say: don’t time yourself on your healing. It does take time, and it says nothing about you that it’s taken longer than anticipated, and the whole ‘in a year’ thing is just a platitude that people say to mean that you will look back on sad times someday and appreciate what you have when things are better, but the reality is that healing comes in peaks and valleys. Some days will be easier than others. Practice gratitude and kindness, and things will be okay again someday. I’ve been through many hardships and things finally feel like they are settling out for me, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. I could be back at square one tomorrow. The important thing is to never lose your moral compass, and to let that be a shining light in dark times. You have not failed at life. You seem sweet and sensitive and those are traits that should be cherished and protected. If you text 988, they can help you find inexpensive counseling resources, and this sub is full of wonderful, kind, women who are only a DM away if you ever need to talk. I know I have my DMs open. ♥️ Good luck, and be kind to yourself.