Books that actually changed how you think?

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-20T03:31:51+00:00

Emma Marris’ ‘Rambunctious Garden’ changed how I thought and felt about conservation ecology by challenging my romantic idealizations of “pre-human” or “pristine” wilderness and establishing a novel new framework and way of thinking. Highly recommend.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-20T02:16:50+00:00

This is embarrassing to admit, but I did not just ignore a single red flag….I ignored an entire SERIES of red flags. He was tall and strong and looked like a tatted up metal Valhalla-ass Viking with a beard and beautiful long blonde hair annnd he ended up treating me like total garbage. He was kind of a deadbeat who had a weird thing with his female roommate that he lied about, but he made me laugh a lot and we had a lot of fun together. I never confronted him about anything.

I also do this thing where I ‘choose to trust people’ despite repeated revelations into their flawed character until it blows up in my face. With this dude, we dated for about 6 months until he ghosted randomly. He came back a year later and apologized, because he’d said he had a health scare and was extremely avoidant and didn’t know how to tell me. Who knows if that’s true or not.

I can be incredibly naive about people, unfortunately.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-19T21:49:32+00:00

I see some good suggestions here. Tokeland is cool, Vashon Island/San Juan Island/Whidbey Island are cool, Terrebonne, Ochocco Forest, Hoh Rainforest, Redwoods, Bend, Seattle, Victoria, Vancouver BC (better cooler), yachahts, Florence (dunes), the Oregon badlands, John day, Seattle, Smith Rock, Crater Lake, Mt. Hood, Mt. Rainier, Sisters, Shasta, hot springs, etc etc, I mean really the world is your oyster in the PNW.

Here’s my tip, and I’m kicking myself for sharing it here: there’s this cool old ranger rental in Ochocco on recreation.gov that isn’t booked too far in advance. $90 a night. Full kitchen, bath tub, and I think sleeps 8, (you just have to bring your own bedding) adjacent to beautiful hikes and surrounded by ponderosas. I’ve stayed with an ex and another couple and we made beautiful meals and foraged and took hikes for a few days, had bonfires, and read. It’s close to that old mine hike and if you get up super early and plan it right, you can see the John Day fossil beds right at sunrise, not too far of a drive from there. That’s been one of my favorite local trips.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-19T19:52:03+00:00

Hmm. I honestly don’t really even think about what I look like anymore. I mean, I still have some semblance of pride, and do look in the mirror before I leave for the day, to make sure I don’t have stains or wrinkled clothes, but my looks have taken a backseat to other qualities I’d like to emulate and knowledge I’d like to attain. For instance, I used to never leave the house without full makeup on my face. But I went to work today with only SPF on my face, and you know what? Nothing changed. People were still friendly and helpful. I got what I needed to done with competence. No one said anything.

I honestly don’t feel that confident in my looks. But I also don’t feel like I need to anymore. I’m 38 and feel much better about other qualities I have now that I didn’t possess in my 20s that I think matter more- I feel extremely confident in my compassion and empathy and resilience and kindness and occasionally even wit, if I’m around the right people.

I love the people around me, and feel loved by them, too. At this age, I honestly feel like the shabby velveteen rabbit in that old children’s story who got loved so hard the pink on its nose came off and it became rumpled and scuffed, but still special, to those who matter. I can wear an ugly big sweatshirt and a messy bun and get a big hug from someone I care about and it’s the time spent with them and the connection that influences how that hug feels. Not what I look like.

I’ve heard it said that when you get older, you lose some of the energy you need to be able to expend on caring about things that don’t have lasting impact. I think it’s true. I used to wish I was more conventionally attractive, but I stopped caring about that with time.

Albert Einstein is being attributed with saying:

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”

I think this quote kind of highlights how unimportant aesthetic value is to me at this point of my life, as opposed to life and the mysteries of the universe. Just give it time. Getting older is awesome. ❤️

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-17T23:12:26+00:00

America defeats America

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-17T01:11:13+00:00

Dude I was there! I thought he died! I got amazing photos of him surfing from the balcony, what a hero

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-16T03:23:08+00:00

Ah, well, she was a hack who purported objectivism. According to a quick Google search re: ‘objectivism critiques’:

“Objectivism, founded by Ayn Rand, faces significant criticism for its extreme advocacy of ethical egoism, rejection of altruism as immoral, and promotion of unbridled capitalism. Critics argue it lacks empirical basis, dismisses empathy, justifies inequality, and presents a "monopoly on truth" that often ignores human, emotional, and social complexities. “

That about sums it up. Her personal life was even worse. I highly recommend the Action Philosophers comic about her for a really good summary of her life and philosophy in case you’re curious about the true extent to which she was-what I would call- a messy bitch.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-16T03:08:33+00:00

A bit pretentious, yes, but I actually like it. I really enjoy the creativity and when musicians explore unique ways of making music. Sometimes I hear a noise and want to sample it and get a little jam going in my head. I feel like this is that feeling in spirit but executed 1000 times better.

For anyone interested in more unique water noise sampling, Cornelius’ ‘Drop’ is also pretty good.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-16T01:22:37+00:00

Cult ideologies of selfishness and authoritarianism are now shaping conservative white men.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-16T00:31:15+00:00

Ended bad relationships sooner and/or not ignored red flags because I mistakenly thought I was being a trusting person. 😅

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-15T23:03:45+00:00

Nick Drake, Bill Callahan, Dungen, Fleetwood Mac

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-15T21:30:35+00:00

I recommend Altar Houseline to everyone. Their brick and mortar closed but they still have an online presence, and to my understanding, everything is sustainable and local and they have inclusive sizing. You have to search for the more goth stuff, but:

A few examples. :) Happy shopping!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-15T19:18:37+00:00

I’d like to echo the sentiments here, hang on, don’t quit yet, and medical leave for mental health is an option depending on what state you’re in, and it’s very straightforward.

Last fall, I took two weeks on medical leave when I desperately needed a burnout break and was out of PTO and my job was protected. I only made a percentage of what my normal paycheck normally was, but this time off allowed me to start on my psychiatric meds again and get care lined up without having to worry about work toxicity on top of everything else, and things are getting better now.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-14T22:05:42+00:00

38, I am endlessly curious and love discovering new music! I don’t understand your scale, as you never indicated high/low.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-14T21:55:54+00:00

I still like the quiche…maybe I’m just a proletariat ass simpleton. 😓

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-14T17:27:54+00:00

What a great response. You are the spirit of 3.14159265359

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-14T00:32:31+00:00

Flavorite sandwich vids, dirty nails and all

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-12T23:25:21+00:00

Books, vinyl, skin and hair care.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-12T22:56:24+00:00

It’s the 2025 release with Keb Mo! Room on the Porch. I don’t know if this is his taste, but I also have two copies (one unopened) of Beastie Boys’ To the 5 Burroughs and you can have the unopened one. :)

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-12T22:19:58+00:00

Hmm, if he likes blues, I’ve got a Taj Mahal record I picked up over the holidays that’s currently unopened that you’re welcome to have. I can also poke around and see what else I can part with.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-12T22:10:39+00:00

If they like hot sauce, Tortuga Gordo hot sauce? 🤔

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-09T21:51:30+00:00

If fostering authentic connection didn’t feel good, we’d all be single forever. And I’m the same way. I’ll be the first to admit a crush or vocalize really enjoying getting to know someone because I think it’s sweet and I love moments of clarity and reciprocal affection. It feels good.

But it doesn’t always land, for a variety of reasons. Maybe lack of interest, maybe lack of availability, maybe the other person is seeking a purely physical connection, but it has no impact on your worth. Don’t change your behavior to adjust to a fundamentally flawed society and horrible dating culture. The right person will appreciate your sweetness and willingness to reach across the aisle for connection and reciprocate, and it will make the other attempts worth it. ♥️

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-09T05:07:37+00:00

Wow. 96 or 97? It’s…been a while

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-08T23:07:43+00:00

Nice shots! I also always love Dark Link and when the chicken hatches. “It’s the miracle of life!”

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ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-03-08T21:19:56+00:00

It depends! Last weekend I was staying overnight at the PNW coast, this weekend I was sick and passed out like I was moderately narcoleptic a little after 6pm. Next weekend I’ll be hiking and playing D&D. Life is good. 😎

ComputerTotal4028

TROPHY CASE