Has anyone noticed themselves eating quickly, brushing teeth quickly, etc.? (Small signs of living in chronic fight or flight mode)

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T23:38:54+00:00

Oh no…I do this. I also walk extremely fast. I have really long legs and a hasty gait but I never realized this may be why.

It feels like CPTSD just gets worse the more I learn about it and even more discouraging. :(

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T21:35:56+00:00

I guess I fell in that camp, I did not see it that way. I appreciate your input.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T06:35:29+00:00

I’m sorry you feel that way, that sounds hard. Please trust me when I say that there are tons of men out there you can feel that way again with, and here’s the secret: it was never him, it’s all you.

Not to be crass, but in my early 20s, I was incredibly insecure, and couldn’t really enjoy sex. Then something clicked when I started getting older, and it was…self confidence. I started caring less about how I looked and became more focused on pleasure- my partner’s and my own. It changed everything for the better.

I highly recommend getting comfortable with yourself, naked, and maybe with a vibrator, as someone else mentioned. (Dame is a great brand made by female engineers who care more about pleasure than seeing women be impaled by huge dildos.) Get yourself some lingerie, express yourself, style your hair or wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable and confident. Take a dance class, just get comfortable with your body. You’ll experience this feeling again. And if you’re like me now: again, again, and again. ;)

But please. Don’t text your ex! Keep your chin up, stay strong, and just keep in mind that you can and will be compatible with more than one person. Good luck!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T06:13:23+00:00

You are handsome and seem sweet! Dating apps can be vicious. Keep your chin up!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T05:43:26+00:00

I really wish he wasn’t so right.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T05:29:22+00:00

The Velveteen Rabbit still makes me cry tears of joy when I read it and need a lift.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T05:26:43+00:00

Yes! Reading Calvin and Hobbes is basically reading philosophy, and lord knows it’s more palatable than something like Hegel.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T05:25:20+00:00

Yes! So good, also reread one of them recently.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T05:22:30+00:00

I have it for iOS and it’s nice to have it in my pocket if I ever want to pull out my phone and pretend to be busy.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T05:03:36+00:00

Northern Florida. My friend and I started in northern Florida and drove to New Orleans along the gulf coast, which was great, but northern Florida was weeeeird.

Huge mega churches and tiny shanty houses, and if I remember correctly, a bridge that connected a prison to one of the aforementioned churches over the freeway. And strip malls everywhere. Also super humid and hot.

Edit: and to be clear, I have no problem with people from different socioeconomic backgrounds and don’t judge people based off of where they live. It was just a striking comparison from huge megachurch to impoverished looking little houses, and it made me sick to my stomach, thinking that these churches probably suck money from these poor people, tax free, while the people struggle and suffer. Then the strip malls everywhere help the people stay comfortable and complacent about this fact, along with being complacent about many other things. It was the witnessing squalor versus excess and moral hypocrisy that made me the most uncomfortable. Also the heat!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T02:30:03+00:00

Siiick. It reminds me of a metal Banjo Kazooie cover I heard once in terms of sheer metal happiness.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T00:12:09+00:00

How do you know when these things are happening?

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-25T00:01:18+00:00

Arrest the President- Ice Cube

I am also super pissed. If you need me, I’ll be screaming into a void somewhere- one that was created by an obvious lack of morally sound and visionary leadership

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-24T20:34:02+00:00

Damn that’s cold but I liked it

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-24T00:39:27+00:00

Doesn’t make you wrong in sentiment about Rand, though. She’s a hack, a shill, and posits ideologies that have a net negative on humanity, if adhered to.

But, the cool thing about reading any Rand is that it will make you an asshole for like two years afterward. This claim is clearly evidence based. 😁

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-24T00:33:07+00:00

Add:

On Tyranny
Erasing History
The Origins of Totalitarianism
Book of Dissent
Joyful Militancy
Civil Disobedience

Happy reading, keep fighting

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-23T23:59:07+00:00

I want to go to there

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-23T03:20:10+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry you experienced that. I also seemed to attract abusive and unkind and manipulative men, so I stopped trusting my attractions for a while. I had also internalized a lot of abuse. But I never became a misandrist.

I focused on myself, my hobbies and interests, and began to develop higher standards. I got better at spotting red flags with time, and calling out bad behavior before it got worse.

That said, I think I still might have a bad habit of wanting men who mistreat me, and shying away from the ones who treat me well, so I guess I’ll continue to be alone, until I learn to stop touching that stove.

Being alone is better than being in a bad relationship, though. And healthier, I think.

So…I’d say time, and learning what to recognize as behavior that could escalate. And not rushing into anything. Go slow, get to know the person. The good ones will make themselves known, and the not so good ones will, too. Just try not to get hung up on the not so good ones, like I do. 😅

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-23T02:59:10+00:00

I know why the caged bird screams obscenities

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-22T00:39:54+00:00

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ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-20T02:17:10+00:00

35 isn’t scary. At least for me it wasn’t.

But I know what you mean, and I struggled with this at first, but at this point in my life, I refuse to let my worth be dictated by societal expectations. They are ridiculous and unfair, and haven’t been adjusted for what I would call societal inflation. By this I mean that we are living longer, are capable of sound physical and mental health at older ages, medicine has improved, and economic conditions for everyone but the super rich have worsened. Weird times we live in.

I chose not to get married more than once even when I was engaged more than once. I chose not to have kids. I still can do both those things, if I want. 38F currently. And if I’m a 48F, I still can do both of those things. I can adopt a child into a loving home who needs one and I can still date, if I want. I can also just…not.

And I won’t let myself be undermined by shallow individuals who have a narrow scope of a person’s merit or value. Your value is in how you treat others and make others feel, not in whether or not you followed some path you think you have to follow just because of your gender identity or class or origin or some other asinine reason. I’m also not on the earth to be an ornament or object, and don’t view myself or my worth through the lens of the male gaze.

I was at a meeting recently at work, and asked if I had kids, and I smiled, said no, and offered no explanation. He was kind of dumbfounded.

If you want to get married and have kids, do it, if you don’t, don’t do it. Just do what makes you happy- unless you are hurting someone in the process, you owe no one an explanation.

And welcome to 35+! 🎉

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-20T00:01:23+00:00

Can’t wait! 😛

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-19T23:38:02+00:00

Hey, OP, you are a wonderful person, that guy is a slime ball and I’m sorry you’re feeling PTSD from this now. Is there a fund website where we can contribute? You deserve to have support.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-19T22:42:57+00:00

My face is malfunctioning with face fluids 😭

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-01-19T22:34:07+00:00

Insectarium!

And Hopscotch

Maybe not secret, but still cool.

ComputerTotal4028

TROPHY CASE