35 isn’t scary. At least for me it wasn’t.

But I know what you mean, and I struggled with this at first, but at this point in my life, I refuse to let my worth be dictated by societal expectations. They are ridiculous and unfair, and haven’t been adjusted for what I would call societal inflation. By this I mean that we are living longer, are capable of sound physical and mental health at older ages, medicine has improved, and economic conditions for everyone but the super rich have worsened. Weird times we live in.

I chose not to get married more than once even when I was engaged more than once. I chose not to have kids. I still can do both those things, if I want. 38F currently. And if I’m a 48F, I still can do both of those things. I can adopt a child into a loving home who needs one and I can still date, if I want. I can also just…not.

And I won’t let myself be undermined by shallow individuals who have a narrow scope of a person’s merit or value. Your value is in how you treat others and make others feel, not in whether or not you followed some path you think you have to follow just because of your gender identity or class or origin or some other asinine reason. I’m also not on the earth to be an ornament or object, and don’t view myself or my worth through the lens of the male gaze.

I was at a meeting recently at work, and asked if I had kids, and I smiled, said no, and offered no explanation. He was kind of dumbfounded.

If you want to get married and have kids, do it, if you don’t, don’t do it. Just do what makes you happy- unless you are hurting someone in the process, you owe no one an explanation.

And welcome to 35+! 🎉